"This is why I'm fat" - Long term healing

kaytiebugs
on 4/18/14 1:30 am - Flowery Branch, GA

Real talk: I don't think anyone ever became morbidly obese because of things outside of their own control. I'm sure there's some rare cir****tance, but generally speaking...

When I was diagnosed with PCOS and Hypothyroidism forever and ever ago, I was like, "YAAAY THIS IS WHY I'M 250 lbs!!! And I can get on this medicine and it's magically going to FIX me and make me not fat anymore!!" No. I was fat because I put more food into my mouth than my body was capable of expending. I was fat because I ate my emotions. I was fat because I was addicted to very unhealthy foods.

I somehow thought getting surgery would "fix me"... somehow spending thousands of dollars would be motivation enough to get my crap together. LOL yeah okay. Or that having the lapband would make losing weight easier for me. LOL again yeah okay. I knew HOW to control my portions and watch what I ate, it was a matter of DOING IT. And having a little band around my stomach wasn't going to stop the hand to mouth movement.

Fast-forward. I managed to lose weight and beat PCOS (and miraculously no longer have thyroid issues) but the issues with food have remained. It took me so long to accept the fact that I was NEVER going to get to my goal weight if I didn't fix the way I thought about food. Mind you, I have an empty lapband and I don't give it any credit for any of the long term success I've had. So anyway, I lost weight by watching what I ate and exercising. I never addressed my issues with food though. I still binged from time to time, sometimes more often than others. I still struggled with emotional eating. I still craved junk. Thought about it when I wasn't allowing myself to have it.

And I still struggle with these issues. I'm no longer in denial though. I'm actively seeking help. I'm currently reading a book called, Made to Crave and then I want to read Women, Food and God, then Why Weight. I also heard there's a 12 step program online somewhere. I need to find it.

I'm also joining a local recovery group, but I can't start until my daughter's softball season is over next month because it's on the same weeknight that her games are always held. In the meantime I'm following an online group, lurking mostly.

Does anyone have any other book recommendations? Anyone want to share their struggle or how they healed their issues with food? Share a confession? Join me in my vulnerability?

Tracy D.
on 4/18/14 3:47 am - Papillion, NE
VSG on 05/24/13

Kaytie - oa.org... 12-step recovery program for compulsive eaters, whether they binge, purge or restrict.  There are online and phone meetings as well as in-person meetings in many towns.  

Please check it out or PM if you have questions.  

 Tracy  5'3"     HW: 235  SW: 218  CW: 132    M1: -22  M2: -13  M3: -12  M4: -9  M5: -8   M6: -10   M7: -4

 Goal reached in 7 months and 1 week

 Lower Body Lift w/Dr. Barnthouse 7-8-15

   

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

    

AnneGG
on 4/18/14 4:05 am

The online organization you mention might be Overeaters Anonymous- http://www.oa.org

Geneen Roth has several books out besides Women Food and God- http://www.amazon.com/Geneen-Roth/e/B000APDO9O They all have been helpful for me, though I am not religious.

Therapy with an eating disorders or cognitive behavioral specialist can be helpful. I've also done work with Katie Jay, a surgery person herself, and a maintenance specialist.

Too bad surgery doesn't fix our brains and emotions, isn't it? I've been in a long many years process of healing from a lousy childhood and lousy self esteem. Eating had always been my go-to comfort and also my biggest struggle, which is probably true for many of us.

I'm not sure my issues will ever be healed because of how deeply laid in they are. But with practice practice practice over time, I have learned to manage them more than they manage me.

Glad your health is better- mine is, too.

Here's to our journeys!

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls the butterfly." Richard Bach

"Support fosters your growth. If you are getting enough of the right support, you will experience a major transformation in yourself. You will discover a sense of empowerment and peace you have never before experienced. You will come to believe you can overcome your challenges and find some joy in this world." Katie Jay

(deactivated member)
on 4/18/14 7:43 am

You might want to read The Beck Diet Solution.  It is one of the best cognitive behavioral books out there for eating issues.  

gabby169kitty
on 4/18/14 8:04 am, edited 4/18/14 8:05 am

I'm currently working through Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle by Michelle May, M.D. I'm 2 chapters into it and one of the things that struck me was this "You might eat a lot of veggies of popcorn, instead of chips. You still aren't coping effectively with stress, and you're still overeating in response to cues other than hunger." Chapter 2 gets into relearning how to eat by instinct.

I went to my first WLS support group meeting this week and the leader emphasized we need to find that thing or things which "fill our cup." One guy in the group builds canoes and kayaks by hand. He gets so into the work that he has to set an alarm to remind him to eat. He doesn't sell them, he makes them for family. I'm working on getting things more organized in my apartment so I can work on my art more freely. One person in the group suggested that I take a small version of my favorite paints and paint outside.

    

Surgery will be hopefully in October or November 2014, with Dr. Megan Gilmore

 

hope123
on 4/21/14 6:16 am - MO
What do you mean by "you might eat a lot of veggies of popcorn, instead of chips"? Just looking for clarification. Thanks!
dragonlove
on 4/21/14 6:49 am
RNY on 11/20/13

I finally figured out she meant to type "... lot of veggies or popcorn..."

Pam (RNY: 11/20/2013)

hope123
on 4/21/14 7:18 am - MO
That's what I thought too, but I didn't think we could eat a lot of popcorn, so I thought I'd verify what she meant. I've eaten Skinny Pop, which is awesome, but I didn't know if we can have a lot of it. Thanks!
Tracy3
on 4/18/14 11:48 am

You have to get this book called Eat To Live, what a fabulous book. Give it a try, may just change the whole way you look at food..it really is amazing. has been helping me along this journey i'm on..Good luck to you & trust me i know your struggles 

 

(deactivated member)
on 4/18/14 8:59 pm

look for low calorie, high nutritious food which will keep your apetite controlled and gives you enough energy. mail me at [email protected]

 

 

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