Ah Ha Moment - Spirit vs Flesh

I was sleeved August 26,2014 and from my SURGERY weight I am down about 50 lbs. So 50 lbs in 10 weeks is very good and an average of about 5 lbs a week! Can't complain about that-I am thankful!

This morning on my way to work made me think about what creatures of habits we are and how surgery is really just a tool but definitely our mindset has to change. I've been exercising pretty well and for the most part I THOUGHT I was doing well in my eating lifestyle. On the way to work this morning I picked up my newspaper and then decided to get a buttered roll which I have not had in about 3 months (it was an old habit I used to have on way to work) Although I was only able to eat 1/2 of it because of my sleeve it made me realize that my thinking have not change. I could have just have easily made a better choice such as a boiled egg, yogurt or cottage cheese-all protein, less fat and less carbs. I would not have thought of this except that the sleeve would not allow me to eat the whole roll, so as a tool it did work. As the tool's operator, I did not use it properly.

When I got to work I looked through mt Fit Day application and although I have been keeping my calories to 1000-1200 a day with exercise of 400-600 per day I realize that gradually I have devolved to eating the wrong type of food I used to eat. Although I could only eat so much-1/4-1/2 of what I used to eat. It was DEFINITELY the wrong type of food-carbohydrate and fat laden! I thought "What am I doing to myself? "This is what got you here, making wrong choices!". Although thankfully because of the sleeve I have not gained weight, I also have not lost it of late-staying where I am because of eating the wrong food . Also I played golf a week ago and strained my rib cage so I have not been able to exercise. But the biggest problem was my mindset-still wanting and craving food that is bad for me.

It really was an "Ah Ha!" moment for me and made me re-think and reflect upon why I had this surgery. It was not just merely to lose weight but to change my lifestyle, to renew my confidence in me, to live! To paraphrase the Apostle Paul:  "..when I wish to do what is right, what is bad is present with me.  Miserable man am I..."  -Romans 7:21,22. So it really is a fight between flesh and spirit, what I want to do and what I need to do.  

So I'm going back to the basics, back to simple. Lots of water, exercise, protein first, vegetables & fruit! I was doing just fine with that and was not hungry -so why did I gradually go back to my old ways? Years, and years of a bad routine and habits. It's just so easy to fall back into bad habits, so easy to walk downhill instead of making the effort to go up, especially if we are not aware and alert.

Anyway, just wanted all to know that on this 'journey' although we have goals there really is no destination. It's continual travel with valleys, hills, curves and turns. Yet an educational odyssey with beauty, scenic views, encouragement and help along the way.

So i'm just going to enjoy the ride and do the best i can. My "AH HA" moment taught me to just "Keep on keeping on!"

Willie H. - you had a conversion moment! You were knocked to the ground like Saul to become Paul! :)  

Keep on keeping on.  That was a powerful conversation you had.  With you, yourself and God.  We all need them and they help us become better people and better to ourselves.  

Take care!

Stephanie 

Willie, I definitely relate to what you are talking about here - I've lost 87 lbs total that I've kept off for six years through my RNY, but I still find myself prone to slippage back into the old habits, old foods, old routines that got me in trouble in the first place...  It's being mindful and adjusting your attitude that helps - when I notice it, I don't beat myself up (also part of the old thinking, and then I'd soothe myself with food), but instead try and understand whether I need downtime, support, renewed sleep, activity, or commitment to my nutrition.  Sometimes as simple as trying some new tasty (low cal) food options, because I am in a rut, but for me, more often there is stress I need to face head on.  Keep up the great work - not just the weight loss, but the attitude change! - Sarah

Yep. I agree. No beating myself up. Part of learning to walk is learning to fall and to get back up again. Next week is another week in my healthy journey. I just need to make wise choices day by day. Thanks!

Yep knocked to the ground on a road called "Straight!" As Paul said "that is what some of you WERE!" -1Cor 6:11. I agree, to become better people we must become better to ourselves-that we cannot do alone. Thanks!

Great...but rethink the low fat thing....fat is good... It is Great.  Keeps us happy... Skimp the roll, get some bacon and eggs.. 

True, also keeps us satiated. Eggs and bacon does taste a LOT better than a dry, crusty roll!! And no carbs to sneak up on you later!! Thanks.

True, also keeps us satiated. Eggs and bacon does taste a LOT better than a dry, crusty roll!! And no carbs to sneak up on you later!! Thanks.

Good for you!  I am also glad you shared this.  I think sometimes newbies sort of tune out the "vets" when we warn them about how easy it is to allow ourselves to go back to old habits and food choices and how much more difficult that can make things in the long run... So hearing it from someone only a few months out may be helpful to those who think -- for whatever reason -- that vets are just being harsh and don't remember what it was like to be only a few months post-op.

Yes, it is a never ending journey. It is just that eventually the reward changes from seeing the scale going down to NOT seeing the scale go up. 

Lora

I agree, and thank you. This board has been invaluable to me and the Gastric Sleeve actually humbling because it exposes and penalizes me for all the wrong choices dietary-wise that I have made all my life and would continue t make. And what you say is SO TRUE! How EASY it is to go back to bad habits, so very easy. In a sense we get ****y and over confident thinking the tool will handle everything. But it all starts and ends in our mindset, the choices we make from here out. Sadly, we need this tool as a reminder that we cannot eat everything and anything we want. How I look forward to the time when I will just make those correct choices myself-as normal people do. I appreciate the "Vets". Even only 10 weeks out I see the knowledge I can pass on to those just sleeved a few weeks out now. So when the "Vets" say something my ears are opened and I never take it as being har****ake it as being "real", you've been there, done that, you KNOW my mindset. I can't fool you guys. I can fool myself, but not you who have lived what I am currently doing! If you have been successful for several years it IS because YOU DID NOT forget what it was like as a newbe. That is why I am on these boards so much, I need advice, suggestions, options, encouragement, constructive criticism and even at times a scolding.

I'm a big boy (but getting smaller!)  MY way is the way that got me to where I was out of control. If someone has to grab my arm harshly to pull me out of the way of a speeding train then so be it-they may have hurt my arm, but they've save my life! I'm not down on myself, actually I am proud of what I've done so far to take control of my life. Yet, I also have to be balanced, realistic and know I still have a lot of work to still do. Years of undoing an old mindset bent on destruction. Yep, I'll still make mistakes, still have weak moments, still vulnerable to my old ways. But on this journey there is no need to walk by myself when I have "guides" ahead of me who have seen the terrain, layout and challenges, and yet are so willing to share with me, step by step directions on how to get there. That's why I keep coming back here. So thanks to you Vets!!!