Can't wait to start this new journey!

arielgail21
on 11/25/14 3:38 am

I am 23 years old and 140 lbs overweight. I am having gastric bypass surgery on December 3rd and could not be more excited! However, my husband is very against me having this surgery because he thinks there are healthier ways to go about this. How do I get him to see that this is what I think is best for me? Any tips about this surgery and new journey I am on would be greatly appreciated as I am new to all of this.

melody S.
on 11/25/14 4:12 am - Morgantown, WV

Has your husband read anything about the surgery? Perhaps if he were to sit down and read up on the surgery and the reasons people have it, he might be more open minded about it. The truth is, for the vast majority of people, diets just don't work long term. Yes, you can lose the weight, but eventually, it all comes back, plus some. It's not a matter of having the willpower to lose the weight. It's that your body wants to keep hold of that weight. That's why we have surgery. It gives us a tool with which we can have a much greater chance of keeping off the weight. It's not the easy way out, it's still just as hard, but it has the greater chance of working. Most normal people wouldn't consider major surgery if losing and keeping off weight were just a matter of willpower.

He may also feel that if you lose weight, other men will find you attractive and you will find someone else. It's a common fear, and all you really can do is to reassure him that you love him, and have no desire to be with anyone else.

Good luck!

arielgail21
on 11/25/14 4:17 am

Thank you for your reply! We have sat down many times and read up on it and talked about it. He just doesn't want to budge on the issue. He did mention that he was scared that I might change after the surgery and that he might not be good enough anymore which I told him just simply is not true he will always be good enough for me. Hopefully he will understand soon why I am doing this and be more supportive.

Gwen M.
on 11/25/14 7:24 am
VSG on 03/13/14

Does he attempt to make other health decisions for you as well?  To me, that's a major red flag.  

Assuming that he's just scared of you dying, education is key.  Take him to a seminar or support group.  Give him reading material.  Let him meet your surgeon.  I assume he's seen you diet and fail over the years you've been together?  

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

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