question about post surgery and others eating and food in the house

Well I have a large family of 5 children and my wife. We are always cooking something. I wanted to ask how everyone else deals with all the food in the house after WLS? I grew up poor and whenever there was food I ate as much as I could because I never knew when I was going to get something else. so now I have  grown up and have a successful career and have food. whatever whenever....that's why I think I am 390( was 427). Not everyone has my issue, and I am thinking how will I be able to not eat? I know the surgery is a tool  to help. I guess I need to talk to the psyc doc. Thanks for any and all replies.

I am not sure if you had surgery yet, but someone said to me when I was having surgery the first three months are the hardest, and most of it is dealing with your head. It is true, it did get easier after three months but it is still a process that I am figuring out. Good Luck.

No I did not have surgery yet. I have to get the GI tests and Psyc next week. then they submit to insurance. 

People often expect everyone else to change because we had the surgery but honestly, why should they?   You are going to be faced with this dilemma for the rest of your life - because this isn't a short term fix, it's a lifestyle change.

Now you can try and involve your family in your new healthy regime (which would be the best way) but if not, you have to accept that you need to get your head in the right place - the surgery will only do so much.

I would suggest going to a therapist who will help you formulate tools that will help your particular cir****tances and make sure you go to a support group both for help and accountability.   Most people who do not lose to goal or *****gain drop their support - it's why I am still here EVERY DAY 10+ years after surgery - because I still have to be mindful and accountable!

Thanks for your honest answer. I will be talking to the psyc doctor about the therapy thing. 

Well, I'd have to disagree with you little. (a little - Because no, no one has to change just because I do)

If your family supports you, they'll be will to sacrifice a few things in the house to do so. They can get/eat anything they want, of course, they just can do it elsewhere.

For example: soda. A great weakness for my son and I. Cold turkey, we've had none in the house since I arrived home from hospital. He's drinking way more water - a much needed healthier option for him - and it helps me away from all temptation for the next year. But will I tell him no when we are eating out? No.

I plan meals with my husband that cater to my needs and theirs (during purée weeks veges etc were cooked to fit my need to puree, and guess what, they had whipped cauliflower to go with the rest of their meal.) Tonight will be scallop tacos - protien and soft food for me... That happens to be yummy for everyone.  The next night might be steak for them, so I'll choose a shake that night. Sacrifices cut both ways after all.

I also want to say that eating patterns are learned, your kids have more than likely picked up a number of your bad eating habits, helping them reverse them now can only be a good thing.

I don't expect my family to change everything about everything in the home, but a few changes can make a big deal to everyone's health in the long term!

(And of course a great therapist works wonders)

ps. Citizen Kim your just down the road from me, did Chae do your surgery by chance?

No, I lived in Pennsylvania when I had my surgery, and if you look at my reply you'll see you didn't actually disagree with anything I said.

My main point is that yes, you can ask your family to change and hopefully they'll choose to do so, but you'll face these challenges every day for the rest of your life in all aspects of your life and you have to be prepared to be making the same decisions 10, 20, 30 years from now DESPITE other people's choices!

Of course you may get to control your children's diet in your home and you *may* get to control your spouse, but expecting everyone to change because you had surgery is going to result in a lot of disappointment for you!   Hence the (very good) advice to get strategies for yourself to cope down the road.

We read a lot on here when people get upset because they are going to a family BBQ and everyone will be eating all the stuff we can't!  So what?  We need to see these family gatherings as social opportunities and not a time where we get to stuff our faces with food we KNOW is not good for our new lifestyle - WE have to change NOT them.

Just trying to give a long term perspective from someone who's lived like this for 10+ years so far!

As Others said - first few months can be the most difficult. But at the same time our tool from WLS works bets in the first few months, and that is the time to establish new habbits. even become "selfish" In a good way. 

I learnt to say "no thank you" When people offered me food that was not on my plan. i had people upset or even angry with me when i refused to eat what they bright me or tried for me to try "I made it just for you" ...

Social pressure can be very difficult to handle.  Then it gets easier. Then gets more difficult as i was losing more weight and even i saw myself as too thin.  Counseling along the way really helped.

 Eventually things calm down, and now, close to 7 years post op i know how to deal with food and social pressure.  And I am in maintenance. Working on it.  Constantly. Every day.  Mindful eating. It is so easy to slip. It is very easy to regain. The work never stop for me. 

Good stuff here, I really appreciate the honest replies. I will be trying to check in to this site and make it a place to visit to keep me square.  Thanks again

I was fortunate that I lived alone so I purged my house of any foods I didn't want in it. Having said that, I still need to get through the grocery store without buying the things I crave (lately I have wanted chips!) so purpose and awareness is crucial as to why I chose this path. I am 6.5 months post op RNY. Having said this, my daughter and her three children are moving in together today (she has muscular dystrophy and needs some help as she is experiencing mobility issues). I expect there will be new challenges for me however, she is very health conscious and typically has "good" food in the house however, she is not rigid so there are "treats" in the house at times also. I have seen some people become so critical of others for eating certain things and I must admit, I sometimes will seen someone who is overweight eating something and will have negative thoughts but I fight against that as this is a very personal choice and I don't want to be that judgmental person. Having said that, I think you can ask for help and support from your family members as you learn new eating habits. I think it is important for you to know your "trigger" foods and to keep them out of the house. I think initially it may be easier to resist and later on it might be problematic but you will have to evaluate when that time is. I think to also find a good substitution is important. I sometimes have sugar free hot coco when others are having something and I am feeling a little deprived (which I am not but my head is telling me I am). I have also found that hot liquids (tea primarily) fills me up so that is my go to when I need something more. I also plan my food the night before for the next day so if it is not on the list I can't have it. I am not always perfect with this but it does help a lot. Last night I was going to my daughter's for my birthday and I knew the chicken she was making had some carbs in the sauce so I planned my carbs for the day accordingly. PLANNING IS KEY! If you are going out to eat, look online at the menu. I don't even open the menu when I arrive so I am not tempted to order something different. Finally, for your family to give up some of their unhealthy eating habits isn't a bad thing. It will help them in the future avoid weight issues. Many substitutions can be made when cooking that they won't even notice. I brought turkey meatballs to a family function as I knew I could tolerate them, I knew the sauce had little sugar and they were high in protein. My family is very traditional so I wondered how they would go over. I didn't tell anyone they were turkey and not beef until they began raving about them. I think you are very smart to be looking ahead at the things that may sabotage your success. Hope this helps!