Support

How critical is a  support person to have. I will have my 5th of 6 medically supervised weight loss appointments next week. I am finding that the 2 people I was counting on are not good for that role. Mom is actively hostile in regards to WLS and my husbands support really isn't there either. I am afraid that the surgeon won't preform surgery now. They want to see your support person at everything.

I think it's important to have support because it does make things more pleasant, but at the end of the day you're the one who has to do this.  You have to feed yourself.  You have to eat right.  You have to get your liquids in.  You have to figure out what exercise works for you.  You have to make yourself a priority and see a therapist and be kind to yourself and all of that stuff.  

So, support is lovely since it never hurts to have someone cheering you on, but I don't think it's critical.  

I'm sorry that your family are being unsupportive.  Do you have any friends you can turn to?  At least to go to appointments with you?  

Thanks for all of the insights from everyone you've confirmed what I was thinking. This is the best decision I've ever made for myself and I'm not going to let anything stop me.

Although I am sorry to hear that neither your husband nor mother are being supportive of the surgery, but you are an adult and it would surprise me if your surgeon would refuse to do surgery just because you don't ahve someon coming with you to whatever meetings you have that they want someone at.

My family was very supportive, but I was 45 and single when I had my surgery, and it honestly never crossed my mind to take the man I was dating with me to my information session or my three appointments with the surgeon. I wouldn't have taken him to any other medical appointments, so those were no different.  Edited to add: if my surgeon had required someone to be there every time I had to go to something (other than to take me home from the hospital, of course), I probably could have asked someone, but probably wouldn't have... Just because it really isn't necessary.)

Some people rely on the collective support of many people (in person support groups or online support like Obesity Help, for example) rather than intense support from a single person. Moreover, some people simply don't have a support person who can make themselves available (take off work or get child care, etc.) to go to someone else's medical appointments, especially when it is not an urgent medical matter! Unless there is something written that requires you to have a "buddy", I wouldn't worry about it. If they make an issue out of it, I would mention the things above.

Lora

This X 10000!!!  

I've taken no one with me to any of my appointments and like you said, my support is a collective, not a single person.  

I had support.  But I lived alone.  So how much did that support help when I wanted to cheat and eat something I shouldn't or when I didn't feel like going to the gym.  Support is great.  I had a lot of it in the form of friends and my daughter (who was away at college at the time).  But I was the one that decided what I ate and if I exercised.  I hope your doctor sees that. 

Support is nice, but it's not the only indicator for long term success.  Ultimately it's the choices you make after surgery.  My husband was concerned about me having the surgery, but there was nothing anyone could have said to dissuade me - I'm that type of person  

It's odd that your surgeon's office expects a support person to attend your appointments.  I never brought DH with me.  The psych exam asked about my support system which is common, but expecting them to be there?  Strange.

I've read many times on OH that husbands are generally nervous about WLS for two reasons:  (1) That you'll DIE on the operating table, or (2) That you'll lose weight and leave them.  Maybe try having an open, honest conversation with your husband and ask him if he has any fears about your surgery.  

That seems odd to me too! My family and friends were very supportive - but I still went to every appointment by myself.  The only time I had any company was for the actual surgery.  My partners went with me and stayed with me until I was in recovery.  Otherwise, solo for everything.  

It is odd that they seem to be requiring support.  Or are they trying to get across to their patients that they need some sort of support system.  There are many ways to get support.  My family and friends were very supportive of my decision to have the surgery but I do not look to them to understand exactly how I feel as I go through my struggles.  The good thing is that my friends and family are not trying to sabotage my weight loss.  I have a small group of friends from my bariatric program along with OH and FB groups that provide that type of support.  If you can find a source of support that is there for you when you need it, it doesn't matter if they live with you.

A lot of great comments already. I would look into the reasons why your husband isn't supportive of this decision. Is it a control issue? Is he afraid you will leave him?

this is your journey, no one else's. It's time to put yourself first. You have support, they may be virtual, but you have a whole community behind you.