Early fall is the most confident season for the formerly fat - whose experimenting with a hotter...

I always loved this time of year even pre-op because I was at my thinnest due to summer activity and heat -and could cover up my so called by flaws ( little jiggles) with tight sexy new clothes.   I'll go so far as to say early fall is the curvy grrrl's best friend :) ... a time when the whole world sees you as your cutest .

Even now post op I love my shape and am not worried about showing a bit of lose skin or a fat arm or tummy or thigh jiggle like I am in the summer so I'm wondering if I am he only one trotting out a new hotter , younger hipper image via my clothes now .  

I just bought a whole bunch of really high heeled but comfortable non-matronly sandals n sale for next year.. fringed sexy bags which combined with little kilts tights and platform army boots really elevate my image .  

The funny thing is I lost SO many years to food and even alcohol addiction .  I am attracted only  to younger men ..yet feel very scared of responding to their overtures. I feel foolish lying about my age ... but I AM NOT THAT AGE at all according o society's stereotypes - i really do look feel and act MCH younger probably because I'm immature .

What is your experience with dressing/dating/ living younger or just with more zest post op and post weight loss ?  Thanks for sharing!

In my experience, lying about ANYTHING-- even age-- is generally not a smart way to start a relationship.

Lol !  but sometimes you HAVE to  - theres so much rampant ageism combined with sexism in our society right now ... whats a would be cougar to do lol ? The guys I meet my age are equally self centered a-holes greedy cynical just old and unattractive too...  

Dating post significant weight loss is SUCH a trip ! I was so afraid the first time I married the second man I dated off harmony I kid U not - and I felt comfortable with him because on our first date he told me he had had an RNY years before .  He turned out to be mean, cheap and self-centered ...totally incapable  of loving me.  After our divorce I dated a younger man who also proved to be self-centered cynical mean and incapable of loving me ... 

so I would LOVE to hear about YOUR successful dating /mating experiences pre and post op ... .  I was a very lonely scared little grrl or s many years huddling with my excess food .  I told myself the  excess weight I carried was what kept me from pursuing fulfilling relationships.  I think now I was just scared .  

I really admire OHers here who had full social and work lives preop and post op . I and I'm sure many others  love to learn from you .. ((())) thanks ! 

Want mine, then?

Met a guy my sophomore year of college (my friend started dating his friend), we started hanging out and swapping IM's. We had similar interests, he thought I seemed smart and nice and fun to hang out with, so he asked me out by email a few months later. 13 years later, we're still together, expecting a kid, and happy as can be.

He's not a supermodel, he's not rich, and he's only 9 months younger than me. But he has a cute smile, he puts up with my dumb jokes, I don't mind that he can school me in several types of video games, he has a huge soft spot for cute fuzzy animals, he has AWESOME cuddles in the morning before we head to work, his favorite thing to do on a Friday is play video games and eat pizza together, and he makes me feel special and beautiful. He loves me the way I am-- regardless of weight or mental health-- and I've never had a better friend in my whole life.

Wow !  You give me hope thanks for sharing your happy outcome ((((()))

So what happens when you get down the line, decide you want to get serious with the person, and your partner discovers your willingness/ability to be dishonest? Not a good start to a trusting relationship, that's for sure.

I honestly don't know lol... I do know this .. i've been asked out by guys who inadvertently found out my age ( a cop who pulled me over etc) . These guys I think are so obviously a total mismatch ( most of them don't have a pot to **** i much less a window to throw it out of , child support payments , no education) yet they ( must ) think of me as discounted goods because of this number ... why don't they consider me WAY out of their league  ?

When I put a profile online with ( close to) my real age I met Santa Clauses lol who I would PAY to stay away from ( especially in bed  can you picture it ? ) Honestly I'm just NOT the person society responds to when they know my age - I do so-called  " age-inappropriate " things on a daily basis .. extreme sports , twenty-something clothes ..but I also am my age - a homeowner , a somewhat successful creative .  I want to meet someone younger who will absolutely value the experience real life knowledge that I bring to the table and who will be honestly attracted to my mind talent and who I am as opposed to focusing on my lack of booty , stomach like pizza dough .. fat arms and AGE .  My last  boyfriend ( 12 years younger )  was VERY attracted to me and we had sex constantly but he also belittled me for my body flaws , my age out of his own insecurity . 

To say the least it was a CHALLENGING  relationship .  Before my husband I also dated someone 12 or so years younger .. ad had a very hard time feeling secure because of my body issues ... most of which were  at least then in my head . But its a fact that I am attracted to alpha males  ( good looking successful and intelligent) and there will always be someone prettier younger hotter and definitely newer and more exciting than me attracted  to them hanging around. 

How do I weed out the unfaithful ones , the hard-hearted ones without meeting everyone first ? I have a TON of responses online ..way too many to actually reply to much less meet  but Im terrrified  to meet in person and be used or insulted ...

To answer your question ... I trust that the RIGHT guy who appreciates me for the person I am not just my ( limited) material success and my " type" ( look) will forgive the necessary ruse .. hope I'm right ! 

There's really no such thing as an "Alpha Male." Men also have complex emotions and personalities. If a man labels himself as "alpha," it generally means he's just a dick and will treat you how a dick treats women. A man can be successful, good looking and intelligent without being labeled, "alpha." That's just game playing. If a man is constantly checking out those "younger, hotter" women when he's with you, it's probably best to avoid him. If a man belittles you for anything under the sun, he's probably not a great person to spend time with. Sex doesn't make up for character flaws.

You should start out on the right foot by being honest and letting people know who you are... not what you think they want you to be. That's seriously the ONLY way to have a good relationship, in my old lady opinion.

Good call. Plus "alpha" is redpill lingo as well, ew.