Well, I havent been on the forums for awhile because a lot is going on.

I am sad to say, I am going to be a statistic for divorce AFTER WLS and it is not the surgeries fault.

I share an IPAD with my husband and it merges email inboxes. ONe morning while drinking coffee I found a craigslist ad where he was soliciting "relations" with other men! And these relations with men were very "50 shades of Grey".

The deception continued, with him claiming that he only did it once. I dont believe him because the towels in the background of his nay-kid photo are different than the ones that were currently up.

I feel so lied to and the deceived in so many ways. He stepped outside of our marriage, he deceived me and tried to make me his beard. I was not one of those chicks begging to be married. No one "made" him propose.  He should have been honest and straight forward about EVERYTHING, especially before he proposed.

Scarily I am not alone in this. IN my area, there are TWO support groups for spouses who are surprised by such sexuality.

I'm so sorry.

Sadly, cheating is cheating... and whether or not it was because he was struggling with his sexuality, it's wrong. I know of so many that find their sexuality changes as they get older. Still not an excuse for cheating. 

I hope you're doing OK through this! My ex husband cheated so much, it was ridiculous! And I put up with it for many years... which is just as ridiculous! 

(((Hugs to you))) It's hard, but you'll be fine once all of the stresses of divorce are past you 

We are glad you are back Skinny...and f$*k him!

Keep your health on the wagon and good on you discovering this deceiver earlier rather than later, you have a lifetime ahead of you.  

Been there, done that.

Ditto...

Advice on how to pick up the pieces while acting like a lady and not letting anger consume me would be very helpful.

Being angry is ok. Acting stupid because you are angry - is not ok. 

I have a very good acupuncture therapist who helped me when I was going through a divorce.  The treatments helped me be balanced. I was angry but I was able to be very good at channeling my anger and emotions towards good things.  

Yoga and walking was a must for me.  

When I got emotional- my ex dismissed that as "historical woman" but when I could tell me calmly to go to hell, and was able to calmly tell him the condition of our separation, what he is allowed to do and when - that scared him and he listen to me.  

When one time he try to challenge me and asked me "what if I say no?" to some simple request I had - I looked at him - got really close to him and calmly said "YOU really don't want to do that..." and I smiled and just started at him. He dropped his head, said "yes man" and left. 

The acupucture treatments allowed me to be in charge of my emotions. I allowed myself to be angry, hurt, Ben furious... But I dealt with things in a rather good way. 

We had amicable divorce... After all was done - we still talked once in a while... Until he got married and his "new wife" did not wanted him to talk to me... Which was fine by me... 

Knowing it us not you - it is he who has issues. And was not men enough to tell you...instead he made you find that on your own..

Good advice. Thanks for sharing!!

I really like a series of recordings, meditations and affirmations, by Belleruth Naparstek, through her label, "Health Journeys."  She has several that I like and use regularly.  One is called "Guided Imagery to Help with Heartbreak, Abandonment, and Betrayal."  

These are available on Amazon, iTunes, and Apple Music.  So you can download and use immediately.

There is both a guided imagery track, and an affirmations track.  I really like both tracks. The guided imagery, which you use in a place where you can close your eyes and relax, can help you connect things deeply, through your non-analytical mind.  The affirmations you can listen to any time--while driving, walking, doing chores, getting ready for the day, etc.

Belleruth also has a CD "for anger and forgiveness."  And one to "ease grief." And many others.  I especially like one called "connecting with your spiritual guide."  Although some of the imagery and affirmations are much the same on different recordings, I find the differences to be useful and targeted to the focused topic.