My 600-lb. Life What comes first? The anger and obesity or obesity and the anger?

I have been wanting to post and discuss this for awhile.  When I watched the latest episode of my 600-lb life last night about Michael's story I knew it was time.

When you look back there are triggers or things in your life that happened that made you very angry.  I know for me it started with a move when I was 6 years old.  My parents moved to MI and I had to leave my Grandma and Aunt that I adored and let's be honest made me feel so special!  I lost that, was teased for my southern accent and looks and the cycle began.  Anger, eating, eating and anger.  Once I gained weight I was so angry for being over weight.  And the cycle continued...  

My biggest regret is looking back on how I treated the one that loved me the most, my husband.  He would go out and spend his last dime for me for Christmas or Birthdays and when I opened all the boxes of clothes I would take his head off for buying me size 20, 22, 24, 26....  "Why did you buy me clothes, you know I am going to lose weight"?  I took his head off.  To be able to take those words back would mean everything to me.  But I can't....

Each day I try to help others and make a difference, not always being able to do so.  When I get angry at myself I find I start thinking of food!

Do you see the cycle of anger and eating in your life?  It's there my friends....identify it and work on it.

I do think the two can go hand in hand.  For me when I was at my worst physically I let out that anger that I had within myself out on those around me.  I didn't do it purposely but in looking back over the last several years of my life I can see it. 

Hi reree,

You are so right.  I didn't see it at all and even realize I was so angry and taking it our on my loved one.  But when I look back it was there almost from day 1.  Be sure and let those you feel you may have taken it out on know you are sorry before it's too late

I really felt Michael's frustration last night.  His anger penetrated through the television.  He tried so hard to control everything and everyone around him when he himself had no self control.  I understood that and felt great compassion for him and his wonderful children.  I too had a very controlling father, my anger was so bottled up inside me that the only way to soothe it was through food.  I work very hard now trying to identify it in myself before I turn to food.  Good topic Kathy, thank you.

What great insight thompsonk  And yes, his kids are such blessings I have to be honest there were a few tears in my eyes at the thought of them and how this was affecting their lives.  Congratulations on working on not repeating the pattern!  

To be clear, I was never skinny, but I didn't become morbidly obese until after I was raped as a teenager.  To be more specific, after I reported the sexual abuse and had to testify.  In the 6 months between telling and going to court, I gained 75+ pounds going from 150 to 225+

The abuse I suffered from the community was arguably as bad as the actual crime.  I survived by using the coping device of food.  I did the best I could with the abilities and tools I had at the time.

For me, it anger wasn't/isn't part of my obesity at all.  It was a combination of self-protection (ironic, since being obese never kept men away from me) -- and emotional pain, guilt and shame.   

Your strength comes through loud and clear Kat.  Thank you for sharing and paying it forward to others that may be in the dark and don't know how to come into the light to deal with what horrible thing happened to them in their life.

When you go through something so traumatic and get better, you will always be a stronger person than someone who has had a life with only good experiences.  You also develop a compassion and desire to help others. The world is full of shallow, self-centered people and you will always stand out from and above that crowd.

Kat you are so amazing!  Most people never are able to do that at all.  We treat assault victims very poorly, and rarely is there any justice.  I respect you very much for what you did.