Libido....or lack thereof

Ok, so there is a lot of conversation that occurs about how amazing sex is after surgery and the corresponding weight loss. I'm wondering if anyone else is experiencing the opposite?

I am a 43 year old male that has always had a normal to high sex drive. However, a few months after my surgery it began to wane. Eventually is disappeared completely. And I mean completely. No interest whatsoever!

At around the same time (about 9 months post-op or so) I also began to experience some other symptoms (muscle fatigue, etc) that made me think I could have low testosterone levels. I went to have them checked, and sure enough, I had low T. My level was 199, with normal range being 280-800. I began treatment, and over the next couple of months all of my non-libido related issues were resolved. I recently had my T levels re-checked and they are now at 901! But still no sex drive. None.

My doctor (urologist) is telling me that it is nothing physical, and at this point it's all in my head. I'm open to that being a possibility (although not sure why, and why it would just start out of the blue) and I will be talking with my therapist about this at my next session (she is already aware of the low T), but I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

It just seems so odd when I am the healthiest I've ever been, and feel very good about myself (although, TBH, I've never really lacked self-confidence).

Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

Oh, and I should probably add that the equipment works just fine, just no desire to actually use it.

Do you have a lot stress in your life right now? Marriage, kids, work issues? You don't have to answer but I know stress can affect us differently.

How are your labs? Have you had a full set done recently?

Sex is important. I hope you and your doctor or therapist can help you figure it out soon.

My life has been pretty stable for the last few years. There is obviously stress, but no more so than usual, or what I imagine is "normal".

My labs have all been normal. Last set of labs was about 3 months ago, all was good. I will have another set run in about 3 more months. My labs have all been pretty normal since surgery. B-12 was borderline low, but that was quickly and easily remedied a year ago with a supplement. Iron has consistently been in the low-normal range, but steady.

It's funny you say "sex is important", because honestly, when you have no sex drive, it really isn't. It's kind of a funny cognitive dissonance. I mean, your whole life sex is kinda super important, then all of the sudden it doesn't matter AT ALL. I mean, cognitively, I know it matters, and I know it matters to my wife, but when you have no sex drive, it really doesn't matter at all. It's kind of strange and hard to describe, but honestly, if I wasn't married and didn't know it wasn't "normal", I really wouldn't care at all. In fact, there is something kind of liberating about not having sex be a near constant thought. Weird really.

I meant sex/intimacy is important in a relationship. It just is, even though you don't personally want it right now. I do hope you figure it out.

Yeah, totally agree. Not trying to diminish that, just trying to explain what a strange feeling it is to suddenly become asexual.

Are you taking any medications that could be the culprit? Antidepressants? Prostate drugs? Antihistamines? HBP meds? Pain killers?

No medications (except the testosterone and vitamins). In fact, I am off all my medications for high blood pressure that I used to be on.

Gosh, I don't know then. I do believe you, however, I don't think it's all "in your head." --

I sure hope you can find what's causing it.

Did they check your estrogen levels as well as your testosterone? That may be a weird question to ask a guy but it could be related to your weight loss

Not that I'm aware of. They told me all my results were "normal" when I called, but the nurse wasn't super helpful. I probed quite a bit to get specific results. For instance, I told her the doctor had ordered a test to check for the possibility of pituitary tumors, but I couldn't remember the name of it off hand. She told me that he didn't order anything like that. So while on the phone I googled it, and said "prolactin, I think that was it". And she says "oh yeah, he tested for that, it's normal". Gosh, thanks!

Bottom line is - I don't think so, but given the lack of detail, I don't know for sure. I will definitely ask for a copy of the results though as I like physical copies of all my lab work.