Ever feel like giving up on trying to have surgery?

MadisonRose
on 3/7/18 7:36 pm

I'm at that point now. I'm just tired of trying and don't think I'll ever get there. I met with a weight loss surgeon last year who told me I'd be a better candidate for gastric bypass rather than the sleeve because with the sleeve I wouldn't lose all the weight that I want/need to lose.

However, I still have the huge road block in my way of my insurance not covering my surgery. I've been searching relentlessly and applying for other jobs, but it gets so depressing receiving rejection after rejection letter. All I want is one glimmer of hope to keep me going. I figured by now I'd at least be a little closer to where I want to be.

It doesn't help matters much that two of the women I work with have had WLS and they look awesome while I'm still stuck in this fat suit. I feel like my health is just declining. All the weight I'm carrying around I'm sure isn't good combined with my MS. My mobility is already drastically limited. My lower back gets extremely painful after simply standing for just 5 minutes. (Had an mri done on my back recently which is already showing signs of arthritis at 35.) My blood pressure has been very high recently and I have been diagnosed with asthma. I'm just waiting on the day when I'm told I have diabetes since my mother and all her sisters have it.

I started out eating right and exercising as much as the pain would allow, but now I've lost all motivation. I no longer go out anymore aside from work which takes all that I have to get out of bed for. Other than that I just stay secluded at home. I no longer enjoy life because I can't do things I once enjoyed. I used to love to go to the beach, swimming, hiking, shopping etc. I don't do those things anymore. I can't do those things anymore. I no longer go to restaurants....it's just too embarrassing. I can no longer fit in a booth. It's all very humiliating. I've given up on my dream of ever getting married and having children. At this point I'd just be a burden.

And the thing about it is, I don't even care about losing the weight to look good. I just want to be healthy. I just want to be able to take five steps without being out of breath. I just want to be able to stand/walk without excruciating back pain. I just want to feel normal again. Just not sure if that will ever happen...not sure if I care anymore. I know it's awful to say. It's just easier to give up. Accept defeat. I'm just tired.

guess I just needed to vent.

Partlypollyanna
on 3/8/18 3:38 am
RNY on 02/14/18

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad! I don't have any words of wisdom re: insurance but just wanted to say that I hope you are able to find what you can do and regain your energy and motivation from there. I know it can be hard but hang in there.

HW: 306 SW: 282 CW:207 GW: 143

M1-24; M-2-15.3; M-3-13.9; M-4-15.8; M-5?

Happiness-is-a-choice
on 3/8/18 4:56 am, edited 3/7/18 8:58 pm

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish I could offer some advice regarding your insurance dilemma. Stay positive and try on your own for now and maybe eventually somehow something will change. Has your doctor backed you up and written to your insurance? With the MS I wonder why you are getting denied. Does not seem right.

As someone coming up on 10 years out I want to let you know as the years go on many of us struggle to keep the weight off. It is not all that much different then before WLS, other then we get full faster and with RNY many of us do not tolerate sugar and don't feel well if we do eat sugar. Not a magic bullet. I do feel blessed I was able to have surgery don't get me wrong. Since you are coming upon road blocks try to live the pre surgery life if you can, something you will need to do if approved anyway. After a couple years it goes strictly back to discipline and will power once again or the weight will come back on. If you can practice that now when you have surgery it will only be a help.

I wish you the best. Stay positive... there is strength in positive thinking and I have found in life something I stay positive about becomes a reality.

Gwen M.
on 3/8/18 5:02 am
VSG on 03/13/14

It seems like the OP's insurance has an exclusion on WLS.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 41 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Gwen M.
on 3/8/18 5:01 am
VSG on 03/13/14

I'm sorry you feel like giving up, I think that's understandable given all that you've been through.

Do you have any friends with great insurance that you could "marry" in order to access their insurance? Obviously you'd need to offer to pay the difference in premium, etc.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 41 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Gwen M.
on 3/8/18 5:03 am
VSG on 03/13/14

Are you able to get different insurance through the healthcare exchanges - insurance that covers WLS?

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 41 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Grim Traveller
on 3/8/18 6:11 am
RNY on 08/21/12
On March 8, 2018 at 1:01 PM Pacific Time, Gwen M. wrote:

I'm sorry you feel like giving up, I think that's understandable given all that you've been through.

Do you have any friends with great insurance that you could "marry" in order to access their insurance? Obviously you'd need to offer to pay the difference in premium, etc.

Wow. I think watching some YouTube videos, getting some instruments, and doing surgery on yourself would be better advice.

6'3" tall, male. Maintaining a loss of 280 pounds.

Highest weight was 475. Consult weight 04/12 was 411. RNY on 08/21/12 at 359 lbs. Current weight 195.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

Gwen M.
on 3/8/18 6:51 am, edited 3/8/18 12:04 am
VSG on 03/13/14

When you live with a medical system that doesn't provide health care to all residents, you do what you need to do to get the care you need, sadly.

Of course, I also got married for the benefits as that was the only thing legal marriage provided that I didn't already have with my partner.

(The OP has also gotten a ton of other advice over the time she's been posting here - and clearly nothing has helped.)

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 41 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

H.A.L.A B.
on 3/8/18 7:57 am

Unless you are already with someone you want to be with, and they have good insurance - marriage may be a good idea.

But if RNY can be done for 6-7 K by a really good docs in Mexico- trying to find someone to marry for insurance that can caused them so much more money and hassle - is a horrible idea. No matter how you look at it.

Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG

"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"

"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."

Gwen M.
on 3/8/18 8:03 am
VSG on 03/13/14

I disagree that it's a horrible idea, obviously, since I wouldn't have suggested something I felt was horrible.

I believe that it has already been suggested to the OP to consider Mexico, I assume she has reasons for not doing this? It's certainly a good suggestion if she could make it work!

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 41 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

×