I am pre-op and I have a world of plans and good intentions and I am going to work my ASS off to make sure I succeed. 

I don't have your answers because i am not there yet...but I think it is AMAZING that you are here and doing the research and really supporting your partner in his decision..

Will this be EASY?  NO

Will this help him reach his goals?  YES

Has he done his research?  -I assume since he gave you this web address he has!

I think if you go into this thinking its going to be some magic Weight loss solution that you can sit back eat and drink what you want and have it work you will fail...but if you are willing to give things up, work hard adn work your tool, KNOWING that there will be good days and bad days and Hard crying snotting on the floor over a hershey's kiss you want to eat and can't, kind of days.... then your on the road to success!!

So all that to say.... KUDOS to you for caring enough to seek the answers YOU need.  and to add that for people who are heavy enough to qualify for surgery, if they diet and loose the weight on their own the percentage of people who can keep it off for more then 5 years is less then 1%.... his odds are not good on his own. 

I have told my whole family who are for the most part supportive... my inlaws however I have not told and I will not tell them until either JUST before surgery or just after...have not decided when exactly I will tell them... Robs mom is a worry wart and can't handle the simplest of things... and his dad doesn't think I am capable of fully researching things... he is the kind of guy who tells me directions to get home from their house like I haven't been driving it for 14 years now... :)  he is a control freak and wants to tell you the route you should take based on the time of day and weather conditions etc.... (Grin and nod Julia, Grin and nod).....

Here is the truth of the matter....this is YOUR body...This is YOUR decision.  Its ok for Mom and family to disagree with your choices, its ok for them to be worried about your health.....it is NOT ok for you to allow them to dictated what and how you do things.  This is a hard thing to do at my age (33) let alone at 25!!  But if you choose to tell them (despite WHEN you choose to tell them) You are well within your right to say "I appreciate your concern, I am working with a Team of Dr's, Nurses, Social workers etc and I have done copious amounts of research and I know this is the right decision for me.  I am not asking you to agree, but I am asking you to respect my decision".

Good luck...:)

LOVE  THIS!!!!

I am preop as well... I decided about a year ago to try ONE MORE DIET!  and if that failed I was getting WLS... I know a few people who got it done and all said to me they would do it again in a heartbeat... that was enough reason for me...

Of course that last diet failed (Lost a total of 30 lbs). 

I have a young family I am 33 I have a 33 year old husband and two children one is 11 the other is 8.  And I am watching my children make the same choices I do... here is what I have taught them (My husband and I)...and this is the number 1 reason I am doing this and so is my husband.

We taught them:

Eat it all now or it wont be there later-for junk food!

Eat fast because we are in a rush and need to get out of here.

Pop is better then water

Events are all about the food...

Having a good time, going out, spending the day together means -Restaurants and crappy greasy food.

My 11 year old daughter is over weight... a kid at school is calling her a hippo.... that breaks my heart into a million pieces...

I need to change our behavious as a family and I need to set a better example for my kids!  Period...I am doing this for me (damn it I want to be skinny and healthy) and for my family!

I have no advice about this at all... but if it were me ... I would be in the ER of the bariatric hospital you had your surgery at and I wouldn't be leaving until they find out what is happening and properly fix it.... My center has said to me..."If it doesn't feel right...it isn't" and not to ignore what my body is telling me.

Hope you get better soon...

Juls

Its not easy and there are def times i want to run for the hills ... mostly to protect my kids from the realities of mental illness... but you know what?? My kids understand and accept more then most...

They know if daddy says something out of anger he is sick and he doesn't mean it... he isn't abusing them but will loose patience and yell for them to stop sooner then most parents would...

Anyway... im no marter or saint... Im just trying to always put one foot in front of the other and HOPE it doesn't get blown off...

I have not read the reply's but I wanted to say... I am the wife of a bipolar husband.

I am NOT saying this is your case but I wanted to throw it out there... being the spouse of someone with bipolar disorder is 90% of the time, being on a roller coaster you didn't choose to be on.  Its HARD.  Its hard to be the person suffering and I take NOTHING at all away from anyone who suffers with this disorder, but I know first hand how the spouse is the one always picking up the pieces, living each day not knowing what kind of mood your spouse is going to be in....waiting for the shoe to drop.  One day you thinking I can't do this anymore, I love you but it feels like abuse, to the next day everything being great and wondering what was so bad yesterday.... (This is medicated...unmedicated is sometimes unbearable).

I know you were diagnosed about a year ago, but i am sure you were suffering for a long time before that.  I wish there was a way to show people exactly what it is like to be the spouse.... its watching someone you love suffer, one day so sad they feel their life is worthless, to so joyous they spent the mortgage money on something stupid.... (These are the extremes).

Your weight loss might just be something tangeable for him to grab on to.  Something to blame.  If you think you can make it work, if you even want to.... ask your husband to go with you to councelling... (I know, I know) but spouses often get left in the dust to clean up and there is little in the form of help for the spouse.... I wonder if he has just been suffering along with you for so long he is used to being your caretaker... and now you are likely high on your weightloss and feeling good and out doing things, being things you have not been able to do and he may just feel very lost..

Again this might not be YOUR situation at all.  I just really wanted to suggest that if any of it rings a bell or feels maybe partially true you might be able to salvage your marriage... and if not... It will all still be ok.  You will move on and so will he and the life that is meant for you is within your reach!

Hugs!

Juls

Hey hun!  It depends what center you are going through.  I am through Toronto Western hospital.  My  dates are below in my signature... I am about 4-5 months in now and surgery looks to be maybe end of jan beginning of feb?? 

2+ years is excessive waiting time. 

Here is how it works in ontario... you get your family dr to refer you to the bariatric registry, they process and send your file to the center you will be through, they send you a letter or call you for orientation, you see each member of their team (its different for every center)... and then you see the surgeon and get a surgery booked.

if you have been waiting 2 years... time to get on the horn someone somewhere dropped the ball.

Juls

I think the point of the liquid diet (other then to shrink your liver) is to help get you prepared for the "after"... its a cleans if you will.....

I am sure there are people before you and will be after you who do the same thing... Your not alone in cheating...

I might make a call to the social worker before the nutritionist... This is the point in my journey where I would be saying to myself, obvioiusly I need extra help changing my mind set.  Be prepared that some centers will postpone your surgery for cheating...   I am not saying they WILL but be prepared for it. 

You CAN Do this.... If you take it seriously you will SUCCEED LONG TERM... I think its a blip on the raidar but I would SERIOUSLY consider getting extra help.

I just want to see you do really well!  :)