Citizen (USA & Brit) Kim’s Posts
on 11/2/14 3:16 pm
on 10/28/14 6:59 pm
Firstly, you should be doing this for you and as an adult, you really don't need his permission.
However, to get him on board, I would suggest you get him to go to support group meetings, doctor's appointments etc. Most men are NOT going to read good medical information and perish the thought that he would Google weight loss surgery, because there is a lot of disinformation on weight loss surgery, ie, most of us die in surgery or regain all our weight and die before we're 10 years out!!! Lots of scaremongering and negativity.
If all else fails, get him to come here and we'll put him straight
on 10/25/14 5:00 pm
Those complex carbs at the end of the night might be a culprit! Most people find that a protein with good fat will help with this - nuts/nut butter for example. Also be prepared that you may need to do this when/if you wake in the night.
Don't be tempted to treat this with carbs/glucose/orange juice etc, this will just put you into an insulin spiral.
It is most likely that this will just need a dietary adjustment and is not something that needs a medical intervention, so if your blood tests come back within normal range, don't be surprised.
This is very common, BTW!
on 10/25/14 1:59 pm
They have done you a huge favour - the lapband is not the best weight loss surgery - it has the worst weight loss statistics and the highest rate of complications!!!
Do a lot of research and find a surgeon that will do a VSG and resubmit to insurance!
on 10/16/14 4:56 pm
Hubba hubba - looking good, dude!! You might be able to tell that we don't get many guys in here, let alone ones who have done such a good job pre-surgery
I'm sure you'll do a great job once you get your surgery!
on 10/15/14 9:59 pm
Ummm, tell her she's not being helpful?
It's good to have boundaries - draw a line and let her know where it is ... It doesn't have to be an argument - just a conversation where you tell her what you are willing to listen to and what you aren't - what upsets you, what makes you happy etc
If you don't tell her she won't know and my favourite quote? "You teach people how to treat you" (Dr Phil)! Time to pull up your 25 year old big girl knickers and let momma know you are a grown up and while you love her and would love her support, if necessary you will do it without her help and love!
on 10/10/14 8:51 am
I'm going to go ahead and apologize on behalf of humanity for the snipey and rude comments above. You come to a place like this looking for actual help and reassurance, not to be mocked.
That said, I think 42 lbs in 11 weeks is an amazing loss. This journey comes with LOTS of bumps. It sounds like you may be in the middle of a stall or a plateau, which is normal for weight loss with or without surgery. My advice to you is to keep doing what you're doing. Hit your nutritional goals (get enough protein and water, keep your carbs low, watch out for excess sodium), stay active and keep working out, and trust yourself. I know it's scary when you feel like you're trying so hard and it isn't working, but I promise you the scale will get moving again if you stick to your plan.
I hope this helps. I sincerely wish you all the best, and hope that this forum can be a safe space for you (and for all of us). Support is KEY to success on this journey.
Wow! That is some sense of self importance you have there, linison - you know, the bit where YOU get to apologise for other peoples' opinions!
OP: I guess you are a troll, but if not, spend some time educating yourself about the surgery you have just had, the journey on which you have embarked, and what your expectations should be ,,,
on 10/5/14 7:13 pm, edited 10/5/14 8:41 pm
Exactly, who listens to that when you can go to the Men's forum and hear about your dick getting bigger? I kill me ...
on 10/3/14 10:38 am
You teach people how to treat you - either let it roll off you or shut it down! I have NEVER had a negative remark about my weightloss or my surgery because I just don't invite it. I'm very clear with friends and family as to what I find acceptable - it's not that I don't ask for advice, but I don't want to hear it if I haven't asked for it!!!
I don't know how old you are, but it took me until I was in my 40's to learn this - I hope you get to do so quicker than me
Same as posting on OH, if I put a subject "out there" I will accept all and every opinion - if I feel sensitive about something, or I don't want to hear anything negative, then I don't share - very simple rules!
on 9/28/14 7:46 pm
on 9/28/14 6:18 pm
And THIS is your first post here? I call troll!
on 9/28/14 6:16 pm
I am not a mental health professional but feel compelled to say it is not only dangerous but DISGUSTING ...
Anyone considering doing this should seek professional and/or social help
on 9/28/14 3:45 pm
When I found myself single I joined meetup groups - the single scene is huge here in Denver and it's NOT to pick up dates - it's to have a social life that doesn't depend on having a partner! We would go to dinner, meet up for football watching, dancing, live music, theatre/comedy trips - all sorts of fun.
I was a single mum so had to confine my social life to every other weekend, but I honestly could have been out every night of the week!
on 9/21/14 6:04 pm
on 9/21/14 2:16 pm
I know that our R&R board still has pretty good traffic and I think the surgery boards and some of the Canadian boards are really busy too.
I think most of the people here want to connect with like minded people and like experienced people and so avoid the general boards where all the same questions are asked and answered on a frequent basis. I feel the main and surgery boards serve the pre-ops and newbies well!
Personally I don't wish to discuss my surgery on FB.
on 9/20/14 7:30 am
on 9/15/14 8:46 am
Support is not always a hand pat and a "there, there". Sometimes it's a kick in the butt!
OP, you clearly have a difficult relationship with your mother and my (and others) suggestion to make a plan to leave and go out on your own is good advice. I can't imagine how you will manage your post op life in what sounds like a not ideal psycho/social situation.
If you go ahead with surgery, I wish you the best of luck - I honestly don't feel that you have sufficient social strategies in place at this time to be successful in the long term and would urge you to continue in therapy
on 9/10/14 6:12 pm
Long term, the form of WLS with the very best stats for maintained weight loss is the Duodenal Switch. This is true for patients of any size, but especially so for those of us with a BMI greater than 50. The DS also has the best stats for resolving or preventing diabetes and high cholesterol.
What you really need to figure out is whether your metabolism is just too darned efficient or not. Some of us are born with a 'thrifty' gene that allows our metabolism to 'save' more calories than average people do, and the more we diet, the thriftier our metabolism gets. (Yes, that does indeed suck.)
The VSG causes some minor changes in our metabolism. Recent studies have made this very clear. What's not yet very clear is how lasting those changes are. These changes are most likely due to the removal of about 90% of the stomach.
The RNY causes greater metabolic changes than does the VSG, but not exactly the same ones. In the RNY, none of the stomach is removed, it's just bypassed for food. It's still in there, making digestive enzymes and, occasionally, developing ulcers or cancer. And it can't be 'scoped. This is the primary reason that RNYers are advised to avoid NSAIDs. The secondary reason is the bypassing of the pylorus, replacing it with a stoma which is always open. This is a weak point for the development of what's called marginal ulcers.
The RNY causes metabolic change by bypassing a small portion of the upper end of the small intestine, usually about 100-150 cms. This is all of the duodenum and some of the jejunum. This causes temporary malabsorption of some calories (on average, about 30% of fats, and a smaller per centage of the protein and complex carbs). Unfortunately, the body's very adaptable, and grows extra villi inside the still-fully-functional portion of the intestine, and for most people that means they're back to absorbing protein and carbs pretty normally by 18-24 months post-op. (Some fat malabsorption is permanent, and this means that many RNYers need to supplement the fat-soluble vitamins A, D, E, and K.)
This portion of the small intestine is also where most vitamins and minerals have most of their receptor sites. Those sites can't be replaced in the lower part of the gut, so vitamin and mineral supplements are for LIFE.
The DS combines aspects of both the VSG and the RNY. Like the VSG, about 90% of the stomach is completely removed, and like in the RNY, there's an intestinal bypass. However, where the RNY bypasses about 100-150 cm, the DS bypasses a great deal more. (For example, my small intestine measured 690 cm. Had had an RNY, been bypassed for 150 cm, I'd have a 'common channel' of 540 cm. With my DS, I have a common channel of 90 cm.)
This much more dramatic bypass means the body simply cannot grow enough extra villi to go back to absorbing normally.So DSers have lifetime malabsorption of calories---about 50% of protein, 40% of complex carbs, and 80% of fats. This is a major factor in making maintaining weight loss pretty easy, at least for me.
But what about vitamins and minerals, you say? What about malnutrition?
Remember what I said about the receptor sites from most vitamins and minerals being located in the duodenum and upper part of the jejunum? The DS actually leaves part of the duodenum in the alimentary limb, and preserves the lower portion of the stomach. This makes the absorption of iron and B12 better than in the RNY.
Yes, the average DSer takes more/different vitamins than the average RNYer. DSers take a LOT more fat-soluble vites than RNYers, because we're absorbing so very little fat. Other vitamins and minerals---well, every WLS patient needs to base what she takes on her own, individual lab results. Some RNYers take more than some DSers, and some don't.
Malnutrition is possible after ANY form of WLS, even the LapBand. Interestingly, a significant per centage of obese people are malnourished BEFORE they have WLS.
Any idea when I should expect the ulcers and cancer - I'd like to put it on my calendar so I know
on 9/9/14 1:24 pm, edited 9/9/14 1:25 pm
I don't think this has anything to do with your weight loss surgery but a whole lot to do with something you said in points 2:
So he is learning to fit into our evening routine. Sometimes this is stressful for all of us.
Is she thinking, "Wow, this isn't what my mommy used to look like." Or maybe, "My mommy used to have softer arms to lie on." Or even something like, "Why is Mommy's hair short now? It used to be longer." (I had a pixie cut done when my hair started coming out at three months post-op.)
I'm sure she's a gorgeous, lovely little girl, but is she the only child? It should be that SHE gets to fit in with the rest of the household, particularly the adults If she doesn't get that she is NOT the center of the family universe at this stage - good luck when she's a teenager!
I think she's asserting her power and she maybe has a little too much at 5 - pushing boundaries is what children do best. Enforcing them is what parents do best. She will never get to have that power outside of your home and that will be confusing to her - I'm sure there are one or two others in her class that think they are the center of their universe too - why I would not want to be a Kindy/1st grade teacher LOL
on 9/8/14 2:37 pm
I had mine when my son was 11 months old - I stopped breastfeeding at that point, although I think there may be an odd person or two who has continued but I couldn't imagine doing so ...
on 9/8/14 6:49 am
It's why I go when I read people adding all sort of things (bananas, even peanut butter etc) to their protein shakes! Fruit is very high in carbs (sugars) and you are delivering it undigested to your intestines - dump city for those of us that DO dump!
A fruit smoothie is not healthy once you pop that fruit in a blender (the major benefit of fruit to us now is fibre and if you are blending it, you should just dump a tablespoon of sugar in that shake!) and you would always be way better off with a piece of grilled chicken than a protein shake!
on 9/4/14 6:39 pm
Less than 3 weeks from Googling weight loss surgery to being in the OR. That was 10 years ago though - not quite as popular as it is now!
on 9/4/14 4:13 pm
I doubt it - it just means you have or have been fighting off something recently ... Shows your body works well!