I posted this in the gastric sleeve forum before realizing it would be better suited here. Has anyone ever lost all the weight and actually missed being fat or big? Do you know anyone like that? I know that's a strange question but I was wondering if realistically this has ever happened. Surely ONE person had it happen. It may be an emotional issue but I'm just curious.

Hi Seiren,

I am still a pre-op, but I think about this often. I think that--for some people at least--obesity is more than eating too much and not exercising enough, It's more than years of making bad food choices. I think that for me, there is a benefit to being fat.

I've been to WLS support groups for a couple of weeks now, and so far I have not heard anyone say anything about missing their fat. It kind of surprises me. I think that there are many things I will miss about being fat, like being invisible to others, being invisible to men, and eating whatever I want without worrying about gaining weight. 

Do you ever miss being big? What specifically do you miss?
 

 I don't miss it at all. It ruined my life and took away my youth. (I was obese from childhood.)  I was just wondering that maybe some people would.

I'm actually kind of bitter about missing out on my girlish youth. I know I have movie star beauty (not to sound arrogant) but my fat robbed me of all the benefits.

When I lost weight in the past, I missed being a little it invisible to others, especially men. I felt like the weight actually helped me see when people were actually superficial and really wanted to know me for me. I've always hated superficiality and I felt my weight helped me show who had that trait.

Once upon a time, a therapist of mine asked me if I was using my fat as an excuse to not date men.

At the time, I thought that was the craziest question ever. Why would my weight keep me from dating? I just couldn't see the connection.

Now, I realize that I have used my weight - my overabundance of fat - to keep men at bay. This way, as a fat woman, I didn't have to try to attract a man, I didn't need to worry about being rejected since I was never approached to begin with.

In the past year, I've started to really lose the weight - twenty pounds on my own with lots of effort and set backs; on March 27th, I'll have VSG surgery and hopefully within a year be within a 'normal' weight range - and I'm sure I'll miss my fat then, when it won't be around to insulate me from male attention any longer.

- Reva

My sister-in-law who is single had lost 40 lbs on her own and decided to gain it back because she didn't like the attention she was getting from men. I found that funny because she is on plus size date sites trying to find someone to eventually get married with and start a family. I told her that her health is much more important and should consider that before wanting to get pregnant.

I'm obese and have two little ones ages 5 and 2 yrs old. I struggle keeping up with them and having the energy to do things with them. They are my main reason why I'm having the surgery. I need to be healthy for them so that I can partake on all their activities and not have them miss out on life just because I can't or don't have the engery.

I don't necessarily miss the weight, but I sometimes miss who I was.....

100 pounds make a huge difference in how my body deals with the cold. I am freezing but will put on extra clothes don't miss it that much.

I'm pre-op so I'm not speaking from experience, but I can say that I have been wrestling with one thing that I will miss. Over the years I have worked very hard to try to be at peace with being fat. I have made a lot of good friends in the plus-size community and to some extent I feel like I am part if a sorority of fat sisters. By having this surgery I am saving my life and gaining access to so many dreams I had all but given up on. But I know I'm going to lose my place in that community. It's hard to know that I will go from being one of "us" to one of "them". It makes me really sad. But my health and my life come first.

I agree.  When I was thinner, I had to learn in very painful ways that attention from men does not mean that they want to know YOU as much as they want, well...what guys like that always want.  And then they want nothing to do with you.

As an obese person, I felt like I had a better handle on who liked me for whatever character traits they could relate to and who was putting on a face. 

I know how people relate to me will change as I lose weight, just as it changed as I gained weight.  And in a lot of ways, that can be stressful.  There's a little bit of re-negotiation that goes on in all your relationships as you become "half" the person you were.  And with that comes the potential for hurt feelings.

OTOH, I assume we all chose this surgery b/c we felt the positives would outweigh the known negatives.  I pray and hope that for all of us this will be our experience. 

:)