Impact On Relationships

on 7/5/16 10:15 am
VSG on 07/12/16

What unexpected things have you experienced with your spouse or significant other while going through this process?  I am scheduled for surgery in one week.  I'm a little nervous about changes with me and my lady.

on 7/7/16 2:47 am
VSG on 12/29/15 with

If she loves you and she is the one, then there should not be any changes between you two. Wish you the best!



Lia D
on 7/13/16 8:29 am - Waldorf, MD

Ditto to Kyzze post!  Praying for an uneventful surgery for you.  Take care and keep us posted.

on 7/13/16 6:27 pm

Whereas I agree with the others that posted, I do want to add that WLS is a process, a new healthy way of eating and exercise. It's important for both you and your spouse

to be on the same page, with goals for a lifetime change. The process is beautiful when your spouse is supportive. Good luck  to you on a successful surgery and continued happiness with your spouse. 



hershey dream
on 7/14/16 1:50 pm - Duluth, GA

Greetings and congratulations on your upcoming surgery.  WLS is a change for both you and your immediate family, some will embrace the new you....some won't.  

My situation was the latter, my husband (now divorced) was not comfortable with the new me.  I was getting smaller, eating healthier, my self confidence improved and he just couldn't handle it.  Hopefully, your significant other will be on the same page, and if not...will be on the same page after a good heart to heart.

Wishing you much success!  

Life is not about making it through the storm....but learning how to dance in the rain.      
on 7/15/16 9:32 am
VSG on 07/12/16

Thank you for your candid words.  I will take them under advisement.

on 10/10/16 9:29 am - NJ

My wife was supportive of me getting the surgery, but after it was done and I started dropping the weight, things got a little funky.  I had gotten my confidence back and I was feeling great about myself.  I started to not feel the same amount of support from her and I was on the boards all of the time, chatting and reading and really pulling a lot of positive vibes from the people here.  I would share this with her and she started saying all I ever talked about was my weight loss and I was obsessed and it came off as if she was jealous.  After a while, I stopped sharing any goals or milestones I hit with her because I didn't want to hear anything negative and this was my go to support system.  I also started getting more attention from others and of course it makes you feel great, but it seemed to bother her.  She loved me big or small, but I guess she was comfortable with big me, not attracting so much attention.  I finally told her she is big and happy and confident in her bigness and that is all fine and dandy, but I needed this for me.  My health was better and I was looking pretty damn good in the process.  I had to explain this is a journey and it has highs and lows and ups and downs and its not as easy as get surgery and go on about your business.  When she found herself where I was as far as not feeling good and confident about yourself and extremely unhealthy, she came back and apologized and said she understood now what I was going through and she eventually had the surgery herself.  The changes that come with this will test your relationship, but if its strong and built to last, you will be fine. 

on 8/8/17 6:40 pm - Somewhere in time, SC

Nervousness is justifiable.. Yes, people who were never romantically or sexually interested in you before your WLS, want to suddenly marry you and buy homes together. You are on such a high after WLS, you can't see the forest from the tress, sometimes. It feels so good to be thinner and in control of our food intake that its kind of like a natural high.

Often post-surgically, our endorphins kick in and we see the world through rose colored glasses, then reality kicks in..... Be careful and prayerful in making decisions as you start reaching your goal weight. Substantially more people are interested in our exteriors, which builds confidence. It also makes one think about the relationships that were supportive pre=op. I would suggest avoiding long term commitments until you are used to functioning at your goal weight. Impulsivity can be a huge problem during this "honeymoon period". I KNOW from experience. I fell madly in love and as my WLS aged, I became more grounded about my confidence and likes/dislikes. I have tried to keep myself rea,l but enjoy the journey. I'm at 10 years out and have passed through several relationships that changed over time, partially due to weight loss and regain. Make sure your relationship stays solid through the ups and downs of WLS. Many blessings to everybody in relationships. Good iuck and stay grounded!

Keep on climbing, Till I reach the higher ground

on 8/8/17 6:42 pm - Somewhere in time, SC
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