I feel like I have been doing this weight loss thing for so long now...2 years. Most of us here have. I am really tired - tired of thinking about getting to some goal weight, tired of counting calories, tired of the scale never moving. Just tired of the never ending thoughts of food and scales and weight and oh my...my brain is tired. But, I never get the feeling that I just want to give up...after 2 years of doing this, it's just kind of normal...
But frustration was definitely getting the better of me. I went through 6 weeks where all I could do is cry every day....really for no reason. I finally pulled myself out of the slump, but I was still frustrated with the scale. I was weighing several times a day just hoping it would magically hit 199. But it only went up.
So...i'm on scale "detox". I put the scale in my closet. I am working on getting away from this frustration which really only holds me down in the long run. I have decided, as much as possible, that I will not let the number on a scale determine whether I am having a good day or bad day, a fat day or skinny day. I would weigh myself and look in the mirror and if I didnt like the number, I would just find everything wrong with myself.
But now, I skip the scale, and look in the mirror every morning, and remind myself how mch better I look, and work on finding the positive side of things - my toned arms, my skinny waist, etc. So, today is day 3 of no scale - and its my 3rd "skinny" day - I leave my house feeling a lot better about myself.
My goal is to start eating/exercising without obsessively wondering/thinking that it should make my scale move, and starting making choices because it's the healthy thing to do. I'm going to try and just focus on following my plan for the sake of a life style change. I dont know how it's going to go...but I am going to give it my best shot.
I feel like no matter how far out we get - we constantly have to be looking for ways to improve ourselves, and make progress. I will never be perfect, or even close to it, so periodically, I will re-evaluate things and challenge myself. That's my promise to myself :)
On the upside, I start working with a therapist in a week and a half. Ive been extremely resistant to the idea but I realized i have nothing to lose at this point.
www.sexyskinnybitch.wordpress.com - my journey to sexy skinny bitch status
11/16/12 - Got my Body by Sauceda - arms, Bl/BA, LBL, thigh lift.
HW 420/ SW 335 /CW 202 85 lbs lost pre-op / 133 since surgery (lowest weight post op: 188)