And the worms ate into his brain

Always loved that line from Pink Floyd and it reminds me of how I still let little snipes from those I love bother me. Always one to take the high road, lately I've been on the same path as the asshole who upset me. Case in point: went to a surprise birthday-pool party yesterday. I've not worn a bathing suit for years and now being size eight you would think I would be brimming with confidence. I let my insecurity go with a whispered 'fuck it' and came out in my trunks and top, laying my beach towel on a lounge chair and soaked up some D, swilling a ice cold beer. The men started flocking in groups and eyeing me, which made me very uncomfortable. I got in the pool with other ladies and we had a good time. Until my MIL showed up.

She's the type of 71 year old woman who all her life relied on her looks instead of her brains. Talk about body dismorphia, she still sees herself as 29 years old with the body to match. I'm dead serious when I tell you she thinks every woman wishes they were her.  She always put me down over the years about my weight and I told her to **** off and she stopped the comments after taking a good 15 years of it. During my wl phase she made the competitive comments such as "you weigh how much? Damn you're catching up to me!" Then when I reached goal I weighed less than her and she stated she simply had to lose weight. ( amazingly she and I wore the same size) So here I am, dripping wet from the pool, feeling quite happy and content on my lounge chair when she said "You look like you've gained weight." I looked at her and said "nope". She then proceeded to dissect me...what did I do with my hair, it looks ok I guess...your legs... I can tell you've gained....you're getting tan...I guess you need that since it's summer....  I'm looking at her like she has three heads and just let her run her mouth the completion of her vitriol with "I weigh 128 now...you're still at 138". When she was done I took my turn... has she tried the latest wrinkle cream? It just may help with her deep crevices especially around her smoker's mouth...I have a coupon for Crest White Strips, it might be usable on her dentures...Oh, how are those bumps on your who-ha? Did you go the gyno or just let them propagate? You really need to quit using that shade of eyebrow pencil, it makes you look like the Grinch.

I felt terrible. I don't like being ugly. It's just not me...and I'm ******g mad at myself for giving her that power...to stoop to her level is just not me. I even had a dream of myself...back to 323 lbs and her laughing at me. I woke up in a sweat, wondering if it were real.

*sighs*

Not sure what I'm telling ya'll this for...guess I needed to vent to people who've been there.

The mind **** continues...

Well, ok, not your finest moment, but sometimes this is what it takes to stop someone from being abusive, which she was. There is no reason why you, or anyone else, should have to suffer persistent rudeness in silence.
     And those bumps on her who-ha? Priceless!

Larra

Thanks Larra...it really wasn't my finest moment and before I could stop myself I was as nasty as she was. Being my MIL makes it worse, but it's nothing new and it's on me how I react to her bull**** The older I get, that high road is getting harder to climb!

GOOD FOR YOU !!!

No it isn't like most of us,, but every now and then it FEELS good to stand up and defend ourselves...

Besides she deserved it !! LOL

One of our things is we feel like we can speak up and not put up with their negativity...

Deb

Thanks Deb, she did have it coming that's for sure.

Wow, i feel awful that you have someone so terrible in your life:( I know we hate it when we stoop to their level but honestly sometimes its needed! I doubt it but maybe next time she will think twice before she spews acid fecal matter from her mouth.

You are beautiful and have done something incredible for yourself. And because you had to work hard to achieve something, you've gained self worth which can not be bought or changed by creams but is found on our WL journey and is more than she will ever understand!

xx jen:)

Thanks so much for your kind words Jen.

Maybe not your 'nicest' moment but certainly one of your funniest. It was enough to make this recent post-op laugh.

I suppose in the interest of self improvement is there a way you think you could have handled it that would not have made you feel terrible? Does your usual method of taking the high road bother you? These are more philosophical questions than anything.

But you've done fantastic and look great to me!

That's a good question Ann.  Taking the high road has always been my way...to negate confrontation and turn it into a meeting of the minds. How that came to be I have no idea, it is what it is. But that only works if it is reciprocal and it bothers me more knowing no matter how much I point out the flaws of another it's ultimately up to me to move on and let it go because that person is too much of a narcissistic asswipe to let logic and empathy into their cocoon of self importance.

Well I'll be honest. When I first read your post I was like nah **** her, she deserves it. BUT if it bothers you I hope you can find a method to deal with your MIL that doesn't make you feel bad. Whether it's telling her off, taking the high road, or saying something very pointed along that lines of "Those were a lot of hurtful/negative comments. Is there something we need to discuss?" Usually backs them off or you get a "no I was just kidding." To which you can say I didn't find it funny or did you see me laughing, etc.

Bottom line is you should not feel bad for defending yourself (hope I don't get struck by lightening).

Curious, you are in the South- were you raised here as well?