"We'll just see"

Blah.  Yesterday was the Sunday that we get together with dh side of the family.  We see them all of the time since we all live in the same city and pretty close proximity at that.  But, we have a formal get together once a month at someones house.  I don't mind them usually, they are much better to be around than my family, who also all live in the same city.

The evening went really well for the most part.  We roasted hot dogs outside in my BIL's new fire pit.  When it came time to wrap the night up I helped clean things up and bring stuff back inside the house.  My MIL was already in there and she and my SIL were discussing diets and "getting back on track" and other such things.  My SIL has a lap band and my MIL has the RNY.  I'm helping clean up and then they turn on me and start in on "what I need to be prepared for".  I really do appreciate their concern, but it's not delivered that way.  It's delivered in a "you don't have any idea" or "can't wait till you come up against this".  So they are telling me to enjoy drinking while eating now, cuz I never will again after surgery.  You're going to be only drinking protein shakes from here on out so be ready for that crappy life (from the lap band one) Get ready for protein to be stuck in your chest and the like (from both).

Yet, when I tell them what eating is going to be like for me after MY surgery, they ignore me.  When I say that I can still drink with a meal, they ignore me.  When I mention that I can still have NSAIDS occasionally after my type of surgery, this is when they look at one another and my SIL says, "We'll just see. I'm very interested to see how it all goes for you."  That's when I realize that every time my SIL asks about my surgery, no matter what I say she counters with that line or a variation of it.  My MIL didn't even say goodbye to me last night!  She just got up and apparently left.  Weird, she will always say goodbye or give hugs or something. 

You know, now that I look back on all of the other things that they've said to me regarding my surgery choice, I hate to say I think they might be a tad jealous.  Or they just think I'm a big fat liar.  The fat part they at least got right, for now anyway!   Oh well, it could be worse then having to deal with blatant passive aggressive female *****iness.  My husband thinks things will heat up when I get down in weight.  My SIL already has said she encountered cattiness from other women when she got thin.  I'm wondering if it didn't have something to do with her as well.

Some times it's easier to just not even get into any discussions with other, especially family.
Your MIL and SIL are focused on their own diets and I've found that when you try to explain how it will be/or is with your diet, most can not phantom eating like a DSer. It's just not part of the "normal" diet mentality to eat like we do. 
You'll just have to chalk it up to ignorance on their part.

You'll do just fine, and once you've had surgery you can show them by doing, you won't have to say a word.

Good advice!  Thank you very much. :)

Yeah, I think they will see. lol  Hang tough!

--gina

Oh snap!  That's exactly what dh said on the drive home! Love it!

Well, I wouldn't argue with them. You can have nsaids but you need to be really careful with them and I can not eat and drink at the same time it makes me uncomfortable. So you really don't know how its going to be for you.

Just nod and say thanks.

Good luck to you.

Good to know, thanks. :)

I look forward to hearing about how you ate a bacon wrapped filet mignon in front of them, moaning with delight at the beefy yumminess.

Until then? I'd turn my back on them and walk away as soon as they start that bull**** or otherwise very blatantly change the subject. (Example: (a little louder than necessary) "HEYYYYYY, how about those Seahawks?!" "Did you SEE what those moron Kardashians did THIS week?!" Etc.) Yeah, I'm a ***** that way. You can be, too. It's allowed.

Hell ya!  God I miss bacon.  I'm on low carb low fat for my 90 day pre-opp diet.

I think you're right about ignoring or getting out of the room.  I feel like I'm being bated sometimes.  I guess i just gave them the benefit of the doubt and I didn't think they'd be negative to me.  They aren't going to get that anymore.

Thanks for the advice. :)

Those kinds of feelings are frequently accurate. It might be that they are indeed just passing on their (****ty) experience, but I have my doubts. If they are snarky or negative in other things, there's no reason for them to change their methods on this subject.

Yup, people use up their benefit of the doubt with me, too. I give additional chances when requested, up to a point. But when that's over, I'm done. I took abuse for far too long and learned this about boundaries the VERY hard way, so I'm pretty extreme about my limit setting. But I sure feel better that way. Hopefully with experience I'll get mellower at it :-). Or not.