- HEALTH TRACKER
I woke up this morning with my swollen legs and swollen fingers. I finished off all my hidden bags of candy yesterday (as I do every sunday) in anticipation of my monday morning diet. I am filled with self hatred and disgust, and STILL can't get back on track!! I feel determined and then by late afternoon, I get a craving so overwelming, that I can't control it!! I don't just eat 1 candy bar, I buy big bags or make a whole pan of brownies and eat it in 1 day! I am SO addicted to sweets I can't get control of myself! I had VSG in 10/08 and lost 182 lbs in less than 1 1/2 years. In 2 years I have managed to gain back a whopping 96 lbs!!!! I am back to hidding out from people. Not wanting to see anyone, even my own siblings. After I had gained back 40 lbs, I ran into a couple I hadn't seen since my lowest weight. He looked at me and said "Wow, you've really gained alot of weight back. Will you get as big as you were?" I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. If I knew what I know now, I would have listened to my surgeon and NEVER touched a sweet again!!! Unfortunately, there is no support group in my area. My surgeon is 3 1/2 hours away. Support groups ARE VERY important!! My blood pressure is rising again, my knees are starting to hurt again, I know I'm slowly killing myself with food, but feel helpless. I'm 62 and wasting what should be the best years of my life!
H.a.l.a RNY 5/14/2008 Lost over 100 lbs, now app 162-166..
Maintenance phase of my life; size : 6-10 (depends on a brand)
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell..."
"So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
265 highest /155 lowest / 185 present WEIGHT lost is a forever journey, WE CAN DO IT!!!
Living life in maintenance below goal since 10/2012!
Fat Site: www.inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com