I haven't even made it to the cutting table yet and already my husband is making comments. Like " stupid surgery"
I can not even mention to him anything about weight loss, diets, food, etc. It sucks!!!! I know this is because of his insecurities. He wants me to stay fat!
I have no support structure and I'm just finding myself stressing and being more depressed as the end of my 6 month required diet is nearing.

Any advise????

Thank you in advance!

Hi, Amy, I saw your post and I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.  When I was a research therapist for a weight loss study, I heard so many stories like yours that I decided to do my doctoral dissertation to learn more about the phenomenon of  undermining of weight loss attempts by romantic partners.  There isn't much research in the literature about this.  I've been trained primarily in couples therapy, so I know the importance of this relationship to reaching all goals--especially hard to achieve goals like adopting healthy diet and exercise regimens.  You can find out more about my work by Googling me:  Amanda G. Harp, M.A. and the survey I'm developing:  Partner Undermining Behaviors-Weight Loss, PUBS-WL.  surveys.clarku.edu/Survey.aspx

hi there, sounds like your hubby is afraid that you may leave after you loose the weight.    My wife had the gastric in 2009 and has lost close to 250 to date.   I never once said it was stupid.  I was happy because she would get healthy.  I aslo said that if she changed her mind I would be by her side.   she had it and is doing awesome.   I will tell you what her weight loss doc said.  No chips.  no pop nothing with surger.  and he said that if I was a good hubby I would give it up too.  since she had the surgery we no longer have surger in the house.  Just splenda,.   Just tell him that if you have it you will live longer,  and say do you want me to die?   if he says stay fat  then I would still do it.  and if you leave him?  its his loss.  

 Yup.  regardless of his attitude, you are doing this for you.  Ultimately, it's your life you have to save.  What's his body type?  As I am sure you know, food has this tendency to be mmmm, sort of controling.  Kind of like a junkie whose partner is giving up the junk, he may fear losing somebody whose behavior enabled him to be bad too.  I dont know the particulars, but it's your life and I congratulate you on taking the steps to save it.  

I'M THANKFUL THEY MY HUSBAND IS SUPPORTIVE OF ME NO MATTER WHAT. MAYBE HE FEELS THAT HE MAY LOSE YOU DUE TO THE SURGERY OR AFTER YOU LOSE THE WEIGHT. MY HUSBAND HAS COMMENTED TO ME A FEW TIMES THAT ONCE I LOSE THE POUNDS AND GET "SEXY" THAT I WILL LEAVE HIM FOR SOMEONE ELSE AND THAT IS JUST NOT TRUE. WE HAD TO SIT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT WHY I WAS DOING THIS. I TOLD HIM THAT UNDER NO CERTAIN TERMS THAT I WAS GOING TO LEAVE HIM BECAUSE HE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT BEING OVERWEIGHT HIMSELF AND THE FACT HE KNOWS WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE DEPRESSED AND SUCH. ALSO, I TOLD HIM THAT BECAUSE HE IS SO SUPPORTIVE OF MY CHOICE TO HAVE THE SURGERY I HAVE FALLEN EVEN MORE IN LOVE WITH HIM. HE HAS GONE TO ALL MY APPOINTMENTS WITH ME. MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND IS SCARED THAT YOU WILL DIE ON THE TABLE. MAYBE HE IS SCARED TO LOSE YOU PERIOD. SIT DOWN AND ASK HIM HOW HE FEELS ABOUT IT AND JUST LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND THAT YOU UNDERSTAND BUT YOU WANT TO LIVE LONGER FOR HIM. DID HE GO THE APPTS WITH YOU?

Hi,

I am sure that my husband is afraid of me leaving him. He has told me so and also has had dreams about it. I remind him that I'm here and not planning on leaving. I don't think it really helps his fears. Last night was the first time we actually had a some what normal conversation about it, but he once again did remind me that people on diets, etc. fail when around him. I preceded to tell him in a joking manner that I kinda already knew that. I'm hoping that this now means that he will be a little more supportive with my surgery and weight loss goal. We shall see LOL