I am researching the possibility of having the surgery. My biggest obsticle is my committment level, my doctor and my parents. I have to have PCP approval to progress forward, I am just afraid when I bring up the subject with him, he will try to convince me that I can do this on my own...now mind you, I have tried cutting back, diabetic diet, Richard Simmons, Atkins, Curves, three meals a day only...and I currently weight more than I did when I started all these failures. I don't see this as the easy way out, but a way out that hold you accountable for your actions, and help you get healthy. I looked into this surgery about 5 years ago and when my disabled husband and family found out they made me promise I wouldn't take such drastic measures and they would help me take the weight off. They don't realize how miserable it is to have someone constantly say "you don't need that", "your only going to put back on the pounds", "honey, you shouldn't be drinking soda"...Ya, I know I should but I'll show you...I'll do it anyway...what have I got to lose... Well, here I am five years later, 75lbs heavier and a widow. I know I suffer from some depression, but I keep the smile on, keep everyone happy, except me...Anyone who can advise me how to approach my dr. & my parents would be greatly appreciated. Millie

Hi, Best thing to do is confront your PCP and lay it out on the table about wanting WLS but make sure you have your ducks in order and know what your talking about. The first time I went to a PCP about WLS he talked down to me like a child and got me so upset I could not even talked. The second time I made sure I had my guns loaded with information If your PCP says you can do it diet alone then ask him/her. If that's the case then why am I still this size? If they still won't help you then change PCP. As for family. You explain to them that your not happy. Explain to them how many failed diets you have been on. You need their support not their picking on you. Best of luck Donna 338/196 -142

Millie when I first talked to my PCP about the surgery her reaction was very negative. Because of that I did not look into it deeper. Not all Dr's think much of it. Meanwhile my health went steadily downhill. I have had some success with diet plans through the years, I counted calories, was on TOPS, Weigh****chers, OA etc. none worked for ever and I always ended up weighing more later than when I joined. If it was simple and easy to lose weight none of us would have these problems!! Finally after another Dr actually went out of his way to talk to me about seriously needing to do something about my weight "Or Else" and suggested WLS I began to look into it again. I am so glad I did!!! I'm now 1 year and 4 months out and 182 pounds lighter. What a difference it's made in my health. Funny thing is, now my PCP praises me on how wonderful I'm doing and even asked for business cards from my surgeon. Hmmm I think her eyes were open a little by seeing what it has done for me. No one else is going to fight this battle for us, we have to do it for ourself. No one else will be living in our bodies, they have no idea what the pain is like, how we struggle with every step we take. If someone had cancer or needed heart surgery no one would think twice about surgery to correct the problem, because this is much less understood we're made to feel like we can fix it all just by having more will power. Meanwhile our health goes down and down and down until one day it will be impossible to even have the chance to go through the surgery because we're to bad off. IMO you have a big choice to make, do you want to keep on going as you have been or do you want to stand up for yourself to make your health better? If you do nothing, what will your health be like in 5 years time? When you're unable to hold a job will your family support you 100% and do everything for you you no longer can do? It's normal for family to worry about a surgery but they need to look honestly at your health problems and understand the dangers to you by doing nothing. If your PCP is not going to support you and you have to have them help you to get the surgery, then I'd start looking for a new Dr. There are many who understand the positve side to WLS. Best of luck to you! Lulu

Good luck on your adventure. I am waiting for an ok from my ins. If I get it hopefully I will have surgery within the next month. I know how you feel. I grew up with the same sayings "you don't need that", "your only going to put back on the pounds", "honey, you shouldn't be drinking soda"... But as I was growing up no one showed me the right way to eat. It was all comments " YOUR EATING MORE POTATOES !! " And with me the more comments that were made the more I ate ! I really didn't get a lot of support. When mom was still with us I used to go visit and she knew when I was on a diet. It never failed wether she realized it or not she would try to mess it up. " Here want a donut ? How about some cake? " No " healthy foods" in the house . Then I would get from hubby. " I don't know why you are dieting it doesn't do any good?" I think for him it was insecurity when we were first married. He has always said to me that he doesn't care what I look like he still loves me. And for me that was I guess my way of letting myself go. Because I knew he would always be there for me no matter what. But now I'm doing it for myself. I want to be able to go on vacation in a plane without an extension for the seat belt. To go on rides with my daughter and grandsons AND FIT ! And walk without having to stop for a rest. I will be 52 in a month and I plan on the second half of my life to be healthier than the first half ! If you can't explain to your family and doctor why you need to do this for yourself why don't you write it down this way you can collect your thoughts and you won't be interupted . Hand it to them and say " read this and then we will talk " Hope things turn out ok for you Sandy