ObesityHelp

 you look fantastic!

 Congrats, that is fantastic!

 Congrats!  You'll be at onderland in no time!

Congrats, Sean!!!  That's really wonderful!  I'm very happy for you!

Andrea

congrat vanessa on the weight loss

It sounds like she, like me, can list all the reasons to be ashamed of her body.  I think it would do her a world of good if you showed her all the reason you love her body and specifically, why you think it's beautiful.

Andrea

You're right - that's really all you can do.  It never feels like enough though, does it?  You want so much to help her see herself the way you see her and it's difficult.

You know what you might try?  Do you have a full length mirror anywhere in the house?  Either catch her when she's naked (but, obviously, not just before/after sex!) or, for something a little more dramatic, lead her to where the mirror is and lovingly (but not erotically) take her clothes off.  Then, stand behind her as you both look into the mirror.  Start with her hair and just go down her body, head to toe and point out every little thing you love about her body and why.  If a certain wrinkle/scar/fat roll has special significance to you for any reason (perhaps when making love, you like to put your hand there, so the spot is special to you), tell her.  Take your time and don't let her interrupt with her self-criticism.  A woman I was with did this for me and it was very powerful and helpful to me.  I've always had a lot of body-image issues all my life and have always been skeptical when others have told me they think I'm beautiful and one day, she just decided to show me.  I had been told similar things before, but always during or just before sex, so it never had anywhere near the impact that this did.

Anyway, it might be worth a try.  I'm not saying it was a cure-all for me, but I certainly saw myself differently after that.

Best of luck.  If you do try it, let me know.  I'd love to hear her response.

Andrea

well honestly it seems the more weight i lose (-56lbs) the harder on herself she is. this past weekend i was trying on clothes and some of the ones i have been waiting to wear now fit and i was excited. she said lets go shopping and get you some smaller clothes and we can go buy me some fat clothes. i know how she feels - i really do, and that's what makes it hard. she has made a few passing comments about getting the surgery in passing - but i don't try to pu**** i just say that i have a good surgeon that i can recommend and then i kiss her and tell her i love her just the way she is. Its all i can do.

Addie-

I see I'm about a month late for this conversation.  I'm afraid I don't have any pearls of wisdom for you either, but my heart broke for the two of you reading your post.  Now that it's been a month since you brought up the topic, give us an update.  How are things going for the two of you?

Andrea

Congrats, Amber!!!  Your weight loss is amazing!  I'm with HuskyPapi though:  beautiful before and after!