The Purina Diet

I have to post this...this is so funny...maybe it's not and I'm just really punchy today because it's the Friday before Christmas, but this really made my day. > The Purina Diet > > I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina > for our dog Chip, and was in line to check out. A > woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh! > > I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I > told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, > although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended > up in the hospital last time, but that I'd > lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive > care unit with tubes coming out of most of my > orifices > and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged > out of her head. > > I went on and on with the bogus diet story and > she was totally buying it. > I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive > diet and that the way it works is to load your > pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply > eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The > package said the food is nutritionally complete so I > was going to try it again. > > I have to mention here that practically > everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my > story, particularly a tall guy behind her. > > Horrified, she asked if something in the dog > food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in > the hospital. > > I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street > licking my balls when a car hit me. > > I thought the tall guy was going to have to be > carried out the door. >

Oh that is sooo funny! It was the first humor I had read on OH and I just learned a valuable lession. When you are fives day post surgury and you have a four in*****ision in your abdomen, it hurts to laugh.