what is wrong with me??

Since my surgery March 7th I only lost 13 pound, the rest I lost during the pre-op diet. I am so annoyed with myself cause I was really good during the pre-op diet, but now I do everything wrong and I don't understand myself and I am disgusted with myself. Yesterday I was sitting on the sofa, looked at my scars and just wanted to cry, really. Why did it not start in my head? Why do I keep doing this to myself?
I am not sure how I can get it into my head- why do I have to eat bread with the salad and all those things?? I only had one fill, but I know it is only a tool. As long as I eat the wrong stuff, the band won't help me much either.
I am so upset with myself, I want to cry :(

if you are eating bread with your salad, you need a fill! On the American boards, salad is described by some as a slider food but you are in the UK and when we talk of salad we are usually referring to lettuce, tomato, cucumber etc. with cooked meats. If I could sit down to a plate of salad accompanied by bread, I would be getting a fill!

So don't beat yourself up, make a fill appointment!

Kate

 when we talk of salad we are usually referring to lettuce, tomato, cucumber etc. with cooked meats.

that's a salad in the US too 

oh right! I just read people on here using the word salads to describe things like chicken mixed up with mayonnaise and saying that' they ate their chicken salad with lettuce, as if the lettuce wasn't the salad! And when I asked for salad in New England they offered me stuff with mayo and told me to ask for garnish if I wanted tomato and lettuce with my meal. thanks for putting me right!

Kate

P.S. I am PMing you my e mail address and mobile number. Feel free to contact me directly if that would help you. It can be more helpful talking to a compatriot who knows food brands, how our medical systems work etc..

Kate

Evelyn,

Please stop beating yourself up! If you didn't have an eating problem, you wouldn't have needed bariatric surgery in the first place.

I don't know what resources are available to you in the UK (Kate can help you with that), but counseling can help you deal with the things going on in your head that are making you sabotage your weight loss.

Jean

Thank you for your encouraging comment, Jean, I am now in contact with Kate, hopefully it will help :)

Evelyn,
HUGS....  You are not sitting in a chair that many of us have not occupied before.  I use to shove more food down my throat after fussing at myself for "failing" and eating too much or the wrong things in the first place, kinda like a double whammy.  Hang in there sunflower, log all your food (the good the bad and the carbs). Log you workouts and set goals for yourself. :)  See your Dr about a fill.  Keep them posted on how you are feeling about how things are going.  If you cant find support there, remember we are still here :) Many of us can read your post and hear ourselves saying similar things at some point.  IT WILL GET BETTER.......JUST KEEP SWIMMING

HUGS,
Swoosh :)

Thank you swoosh for making me feel not being alone :)) I started now logging my food and have an appointment with my doc- earliest in October, but better than nothing hey :) Your comment made me feel much better already :)))

You're not giving your band a chance to work.  You need a fill.  My surgeon does a primer fill during surgery of 3 cc's and then fills every 6 weeks for a year post op IF you need them. 

Is there a reason you've only had 1 fill?  If not, decide today that you're going to give yourself a break.  Stop blaming yourself and decide right now that you're going to do everything you can to give the band a chance to work. 

It's true, you have to choose healthy foods, but the band will help you controll amounts if you do the necessary maintenence (fills).   There's nothing wrong with eating salad, te key is to only eat 1 cup or less, meat first then the veggies.

Please take Kate up on her offer of help.  It would be great for you to have a local "buddy" to share experiences with. 

Also, I agree wtih Jean.  I started therapy a year ago to deal with the emotional connection I have with food.  It does help!

Good job Evelyn for posting today.  It's the first step toward the rest of your WL journey.  We're all here to help, so don't be a stranger.

Best~
Lisa O.