I never thought about myself as negative and discouraging but apparently when we run across complications with our bands that is who we are - Negative, Discouraging, Sour pusses.  We failed our bands and so we want you to as well.  Never mind the Band failed us part.  To accept that is to accept your own vulnerability.

Anyways I'm just sayin' that maybe we should go from here.  I'd love to see the heavenly oasis many people speak of  that would exist without us bringing them down.  I keep hearing of this other forum where there are all positive band experiences and how positive people doing superbly with their bands have abandoned this site.  I'm tellin' you I'd love to see this unfold - this happy, happy, joy, joy group.  I'd be shouting off the rooftops myself - get the band, get the band it is awesome, people are doing so well!   I'd do that because I know the pain of obesity and want nothing more than for that pain to be lifted even from my enemy.

Don't know if any of you old timers remember a gal named Vanessa?  Back in 2005 she would go on and on about how her band failed her.  I tell you that I did sympathize  - I mean I had issues right out the gate and a non-working band the first 2.5 years.  But in my heart of hearts I believed that what was happening to her was somewhat "self-inflicted".  I wanted her to get revised to the DS and disappear (she I believe was a self-pay & couldn't afford her dream of a DS). To make me feel better, I thought  "why is she fat if she can't eat" - what isn't she telling? I wasn't ready to see or hear her without first making my own alteration of her story.  I was going to do this band thing right and Vanessa's woes were hers.

Then when I was at the top of my game, winning at losing - wearing  size 6  donated designer jeans by the trunk full Nikki came along and seemed to always cloud my view.  I was sorry for her, so sorry she had suffered so much from the band.   I wanted this beautiful woman to stand up, stop blubbering, revise, and move forward.  I told her so and I was sorry (you know that Nikki - I told ya that!  Man oh man I still wish you could revise and be okay and feel the feeling I feel - my stomach sleeved is so lovely).  So I do understand not wanting to know - though I was always too clever not to know.  I knew.  We all know don't we?

I'm not the most present of failed Bandsters on this board but I would be willing to "stop molesting them" with my truth so they can have their Positive Band Forum back.  We can just pretend it is all gravy .

So I wonder if you don't see me, us will you be better for it?  Was I better for it ?  The day came when I could not pretend even if I was doing so.

All the best to you newbies and oldies

Zee, I was just talking to Maria yesterday on the phone. I was going to ask members of my OH Failed Bands Group to go back through their posting history and find a post where they had posted from,
" The Happy Bandster " POV. I then want them to update their current situation with their bands.

I actually think it would be good for pre-ops to see that there was once upon a time when we " Negative Band Bashers " posted exactly the same way that some of the newer, still happy bandsters are posting today. I'm speaking to the ones who believe that we " The Band Bashers " are ruining their forum experience.

Maybe it would lead to further research by the pre-ops...

Hey Pumpkin!  I'd love to do.  There are however some boards that we can't pull old posts from. 

Most bandsters that have band complications started out on the Main Forum and/or here in this forum. If it was on a forum they are no longer a member of then that's kinda a bummer.

Excellent idea! I know I had many "happy lapband" posts. Im going to go looking now. Thanks for the suggestion.

You're Welcome, I hope that there are enough people who are willing to put the time and effort into searching through their old post's, so pre-ops can see the comparisons.

Oh, I'd love to do this...

I know there were a ton. I was the freaking bandster poster child shouting it's wonders from the rooftops :)

I found several posts in lapband la la land, but I started having issues at about 9 months out, so there was a lot of realistic posts too. It was neat to go back and read all those old posts. I found two that were pretty band positive even though I had begun to have problems at this point. You can at least see I still saw the band as something positive (oh, and proof that I did at one point have 'success'. Too bad it didn't stay that way).

Post Date 9/6/08 1:04 pm
Topic: RE: Before and During...lets post our progress!!!!

Ok, I'll do some too. The transformation is the best part of this process (oh yeah, and getting healthy). However, I can totally see why some people would prefer not to post pictures. It took me a long time to get to the point where I was ok with it. The internet can be a scary place. That being said....

This is the face picture my DH took when we decided to get lapband. I got heavier in the 6 months it took before we actually got the band. However, I think this picture is horrifying enough:



And this is my most recent face picture. At least I cared enough to put on makeup and fix my hair in this one.


Post Date: 8/29/08 2:58 pm My surgeon asked my husband at his first visit what his goals were with the band. My husband told him he wanted to lose about 150. Our surgeon had pretty much the same reaction yours did. He told him that if he wanted to lose that much he shouldn't get the band, but if he wanted to go ahead with the band he should be comfortable with about a 50 pound loss. My husband is 11 months out now, and down 124 pounds as of this morning and still going strong. I have also lost 95.9% of my excess weight in under 11 months. The last time we saw our surgeon he told us that we were his 'star patients'. He also has told my husband to stop losing. I don't think he plans on taking that advice until he makes himself happy. This is about us, not the surgeon.

You can be your doctors star patient. Don't let him set your goals low for you. Prove to him how wrong he is about the lapband and you!

It is very strange indeed, to go back and read through our posting history. I looked up all of my pre-op goals and have met so many of them, but I lost so much of my life in the exchange Thank you for contributing to this thread.

You know what always strikes me as funny? Those delicate little bunnies who are so offended that they just can't find it within themselves to post here anymore. And then,after _____ days, weeks, months, years, they SOMEHOW manage to find just enough strength to plop their hands on the keyboard and SOMEHOW type out how much they still dislike it and how awful everyone still is.

And now that THEY'RE here, things need to change. We'll only post a certain way, about certain things... no "negative" about the precious band, for the love of all that's holy!  They don't care if you nearly died from it, or if you're in atrocious pain- physically, mentally or spiritually. All that matters is that you toe the line and don't bring everyone else "down."  These kinds of posts will, without fail, always turn me into a very blunt (some might say rude!) person.

Zee, I do remember the day we had words. I'm glad we found it within ourselves to see each others' point of view. (I'm all right with not revising, honest, Zee. I can't go through it again, but I feel good, in spite of this!)    I'm so glad you're doing well with the sleeve!

I know you are okay without revising hun, just that I wish I could give you a happy ending in this area.  It bothers me that you still have the after effects of the band.

Sorry I butchered your name - we're all incognito now .

Sometimes I read these posts and I just feel so damned bothered.  I've been here before questioning is it worth it?



All Best,
L

Thanks, L. It'll get better at some point! I know it will. Things always work out.

No problem about my name... I know what you mean about incognito! 

One other thing that bothers me... I've seen the words, "jealous" and "envious" used to describe those of us who had bad experiences with the band. Do you have any idea what we're supposed to be jealous or envious of? Because I have absolutely NO idea and it baffles me. I certainly am not jealous of anyone who has a band... and I'm not jealous of people who are thinner than I am. Actually, the only people I might be envious of are Hawaiians... who get to live in paradise. But that's neither here nor there.

I'm thinking of writing some outrageous stories about people who have me blocked. I think THAT would be "negative." And I might as well live up to the hype. Who gets to be first? Hmmm... there are a few I could choose from.  

I don't know why I keep posting, either. I think it's out of a sense of duty. Or maybe it's doody. I dunno anymore.

***** I know you're jealous about my milkshake, cause you know it brings all the boys to the yard

I'm not a ***** I'm a loser, baby.

I promised myself that I would stick around to offer support for that inevitable post from somone titled, "Do you think I have a slip?".

I know that I was scared ****less when I thought my band had slipped, and even more sad and scared with it was a confirmed bad slip.

If someone wants to read about the life of a bandster, good and bad, I have updated my OH blog almost every single week for almost 5 years now.  I have the good, the bad and the ugly in there.  What I find most enlightening, is that all of this time, I was always finding ways to blame myself for my band failures.  Some of them were....turning to sliders, but that was only after my band just refused to let me eat so much of the time.  

I have since realized that my band was at fault most of the time.  Being a successful sleever will prove that.  

We can go away.....if that's what they want. 

You know, I would also like to add that the reason I come here from time to time to tell my experience is not because I'm bitter or to bash, but because I really valued the opinions of this board as a whole when I was going through the process. I dismissed the bad because the good out numbered it 100 to 1. If it would've been like it is now there is no way I would've gone with the band, and I would've never suffered through what I went through (what I'm still going through). I would've chosen a better surgery from the get go. That's all I'm trying to do, is to save the "me" of today from having to experience the unnecessary pain.

What an awesome post Zee! We all started out on this journey with so many hopes and dreams. Some bandsters had theirs fulfilled temporarily...........others...........not so much! But I guarantee that we all had faith in the band to work as advertised as long as we did our part to work with it when we were banded.

Kudos to Nic M., Rabid, TripMom, HisLady, Pumpkin, Zee, and several of the other ladies that have shared their story about the band today......or in the past, in an effort to help other bandsters/prospective bandsters!

Special thanks to Sarah R. for her post today:

My goal here is to show that there is probably good reason some bandsters are no longer thrilled with their band and that during the mental anguish of regaining and feeling like a failure and sustaining a lot of embarrassment as well as struggles to try to revise we may want to save others who are pre-op the same suffering if possible.

As side from the physical pain caused by the band, perhaps the most traumatic is the mental anguish of things like re-gain, or not reaching restriction. Her comment also about feeling like a failure is something I have heard from so many bandsters with failed bands and it breaks my heart! You all know if you have done what is necessary to work WITH the band..............unfortunately the band does not always do it's part to work with YOU and do what it was advertised to do. NEVER feel like a failure! You all are strong, resilient women that have fought a hard battle with a defective "tool" and done the absolute best you could. Be proud of yourselves!

Thanks to each of you for sharing your stories! ♥

Awesome posts ladies I know there was a time when I too was all for this awesome thing called a band that was gonna give me back my life if I just followed the rules and did what my surgeon said to. It's so hard to even remember feeling that way, it was soooooo long ago but I remember that I did feel that way once. I'm sure I even chewed out people for not following the rules and that's why they were having trouble. Time for a big bite of crow now! I wish the happy Hannas could understand that we we don't bash their beloved bands because we enjoy it but that we all feel a duty to share our bad experiences to spare them from the pain! But they just don't get it.

The fact that I went on TV and touted the band for my craptastic surgeon makes me feel like I have to do double duty damage control now. I have had people come up to me over the years and say, "Oh, I saw you on TV and how you got the lap band and I did, too..." (or their friend, family member, etc did)... and I feel at fault for having misled people (innocently, but still!)

It bothers me to think that someone could be having band complications because they decided to get the band because I "advertised" it.

I was very pro-band initially as well. I encouraged a few people that were pre-op. I feel so incredibly guilty about this!!! One of the ladies only had her band a few wks. She developed esophageal dysmotility at 4 wks. and had to have her band removed about 2 wks. later with emergency surgery. To this day I feel terrible for my part in that! :-(