Anyone having issues?

My husband is a gem....there truly is very little for me to complain about...except, I think he preferred me fat. Not to say he doesn't love me, but he used to compliment me all the time, and since my surgery, they don't come as often. Maybe he thinks I don't need the encouragement...who knows. My husband is 5'10", and weighs 150, and has NEVER been even overweight so I know he has no idea what it's like for me. Thanks for listening

My husband and I both had the surgery. He never was a complimenting person...NEVER! Which caused problems before but now...its the same. Still nothing. Even though I rave on how great he is doing and looking...(he has lost 75lbs in less than 3 months) I get nothing from him. Actually he has pulled away from me. I dont know if he is depressed or what. Like he is in his own lil world and it really hurts me. so I wrote him a letter today...I can write better than talk...and we will see what happens. Lord knows I love him...But does he love me back is the question. I dont want anyone to think that surgery caused this...we had these problems before the surgeries. Thanks for listening cherish-LA Lap Rny 6-9-04 218/181

I understand how you feel. My husband is a great man and before surgery couldnt keep his hands off me. Always letting me know how great I looked and being very affectionate. Now that I'm down 90 pounds hes done a complete turnaround. He doesnt touch me, even to hold my hand lately. I am at a complete loss. I'm 5'5 and am at 170 in medium/large shirts and 10/12 pants. I think I look pretty good, but I havent heard one word of it from him since surgery. Its actually really depressing me, and he wont talk about it. I guess I'm just gonna have to stick it out, but man its getting really lonely. He works second shift and has been going to work early and staying late mainly to avoid me I guess. I guess men just react differently to changes than we do. Krystle 260/171/130

I know this post is old....but I would like to comment... I believe that our husbands..well at least mine...has become insecure about my weightloss. You see he never had to worry before about anyone else looking at me becasue I was so heavy...and he doesn't have a weight problem at all....( he still doesn't need to worryabout me) but he seems more insecure than ever before......especially if I come home late or if I don't respond immediately to him. I know I just need to reassure him, but Ican see where it can cause problems with other couples if it is not taken care of. Goodluck.... Cindy

You might consider reading the book, "The Five Love Languages" and trying to practice some of what is taught in it. The premise is that we all have at least a primary "love language." We receive and respond to love best when it's given in the language in which we understand it best - and we naturally tend to give love in that fashion- our own 'love language." When one spouse identifies the other's love language and then does the things to which the other spouse responds, it can incite the dynamics in the relationship to change for the better. In your case, if speaking your husband's love language could help him, he might feel less insecure, and respond to you in a more positive fashion than you're getting now. Denise in Ark