I am 26 and have been trying to get this approved for two years. Well I got it all approved and today 05/13/09 I was in Pre-Op and got so scared I was in tears, and left. I need some help with this guys. I have looked at so many of the before and after photos but the one thing that I don't see many men at all???? I need to have this done and I want it done I just got very scared for some reason. Please help me with this. I don't know what I need to hear but I'm willing to listen to anything.


Nathan

I had rny when I was 55 am down 170lbs.Was 380 lbs. Scared?Yeah But was also scared of stroke,having to be cremated,too big to be carried by 6 or 8 people. Life in general is a lot better. Just remember ""This I do for me" It will be well worth it.
LGF

I understand completely!!  BUT, this is for you and all of these guys can tell you that it is well worth it in the end. My only wish was that I had done it earlier.

I was very much scared of stroke and diabetes and heart attack.  Much more than the bypass surgery.

Good luck!

It's ultimately going to boil down to you, nobody can make the decision for you.  But for me, like the guys above, i was more scared of dying as I was 37 and heading down the wrong path on many levels that would lead to diabetes, heart-attack, stroke, etc.  Also, the surgery will only get you so far, you will have to do the work by changing your lifestyle, eating habits, and exercise.  My only regret so far is that i didn't do it when i was 30 instead of waiting 7 years.

I know what you mean about being scared.  I was actually in the room getting the iv in and thought to myself "what in the crap are you doing?  you are an idiot if you think this will work!"  Thank God I had my wife by my side (who did this 2 1/2 years ago.  We started talking and then walked in my surgeon.  We visited for a while and he told me I could walk if I wanted to but when I decided to do this again, I would have to go through the whole process all over again.  Man, I did not want to do the 2 week liquid diet again!.  I told him strap me in and I would hold on to the ride.  I am now 2 months out and have lost 55 pounds.  What a difference.  I had regrets in the first 3 weeks but not in a long time.  When you are ready try again but it is well worth it in the end.  I have gone from a 3X to an XL and from a 46 to a 40 pant.   YAHOO!

Nathan --

The thought of surgery is a very scary thing, especially for someone your age.  But as others have already said, the thoughts of going through life with all of the very real health issues that come from extreme obesity are far worse.

Look at the "member list" on the blue menu bar at the top of this page.  You will see that there are a SUBSTANTIAL number of men who have had or are having this surgery.  Are there more women?  Sure, as there is a higher vanity level about personal appearance between women and men.  But the reasons for doing this are not based on six-pack abs ... the primary reasons for men to have the surgery are to live longer, live healthier, have a far better quality of life, and so on, and then maybe comes vanity.

If you haven't already, go back and look at some of the old topics on the Men's Board.  Perhaps there are topics there that might address your fears.  But it will also let you see some of the experiences that many of us have had.

Your info on the side doesn't tell us the surgeon/facility/program or the type of surgery; we can be more specific in addressing fears with that type of information.  But most programs have a counseling/psychological component, and I would encourage you to seek an appointment with a counselor to discuss the specific fears - fear of surgery itself, fear of liquid diets or new eating habits, fear of post-surgery pain, fear of a changed relationship, general fear about the unknown, etc.  Fear needs to be narrowed down, and professional folks well versed in bariatric surgery would be your best bet.  (I'm not a professional counselor, but I am a minister and do deal with these types of issues).  To conquer the fear, you need to be able to answer this question first: "Exactly what am I afraid of?"

I'm two-weeks post-op, on pureed foods, getting my energy back, and getting positive feedback from those who see me and, especially, those who have walked through the process with me.  My RNY was laparoscopic, and once they took the pain pump away in the hospital, I have only had one dose of pain meds - a preventative one for the one-hour ride home from the hospital on post-winter Cleveland roads.  I'm 57 years old and am glad I have gone this direction.  A short time of inconvenience at age 26 with 50+ more years to live ahead of you is certainly a worthwhile tradeoff.

I would be happy to continue this conversation specific to your situation if you want to PM me.

For me I was a walking death sentence.  I had a heart attack, double heart bypass, high blood pressure, kidney stones, ect.  My cardiologist told me I had congestive heart failure (I'm going to die).  I said is there nothing that could be done??  He said "no".  Losing weight may help...but really no.  I quickly went through the process and haven't looked back. 
The night before my surgery I woke my wife up in the middle of the night...asked her "am I doing the right thing??".  She said "look you have thought about this for along time, prayed about it, looked at it from every angle.  Yes, you are doing the right thing".  That settled it (even thought I didn't sleep that night before the surgery).  Got it done...Had alittle buyer's remorse ("What have I done to myself!!"  Which we all go through).  But now I am doing great and am glad I went for it.  Scared...Yes...It's major surgery.  But it has been proven over and over again.  Your a walking cardiac issue anyways.  But it must be your decision.  We're here for support...but it's your call.  Brian

If you're scared - it's normal. But, if you don't feel like you can get past it - you are not ready. Take some time - get your brain around it. Talk to the psych again maybe. Ask questions here. Talk to your doc, talk to your family. Go to some support group meetings. When you are ready, you will know it.
A lot of us did this for numerous different health reasons, and I, like others have mentioned, felt my health risks outweighed my fears of the surgery - and I have not looked back. So hang in there! But the brain is as critical as the rest of the surgery - you have to be mentally prepared for this as you go into surgery, and just as importantly AFTER surgery you have to be ready fo the all the new challenges as you go through it. It's a process - you'll get there.

Your actions speaks loudly.  Maybe you need to more D&D's on this.  Your confidence comes from within.
good luck

Only YOU can tell if this is the right time for you to go through the surgery my friend.  Are there local support groups you could attend, this may help you talk out your fears of having it? I had some medical issues in my life that made me knew that this was right for ME, again this is a personal decision to have it or not. We can all provide you support here but YOU must make the decision if your ready!  Best of luck to you in your decision!

-Rob 

I was 36 when I had the surgery and wished I had done it earlier.  It is like anything else- you get what you put into it. 

I am down 192 pounds and feel like a new person.  Read my stuff- I was terrified and had a lot going when I started.  It is worth it and I hope you can find it in yourself to push through.  I know this gets thrown around about a lof of things, but it is a blessing and I am thankful for it.

For some reason I am not the least bit worried and my surg is in 24 hours.. I guess knowledge is key.. THis day feels like another day to me..

Maybe cause doc says he doesn't use a catheter or drain thing.. I am all good.. Cant wait..

U mean u dont get the dick tube???? What a eye popping experience  ---- when they take it out
Its whats called -  "you may feel a little pressure" "Or this may tingle a bit" No problem the drugs work
Good luck  Lotsaluv and welcome to the journey

Nathan, well pretty much everything has been said.  I was 424, high blood pressure, blood sugar over 300 with insulin, was an effort to even get dressed, my legs would give out on me all the time and I would all of a sudden find myself on the floor.  It then took me like 10 minutes to try and pull myself up because my legs were so weak, I couldn't get up by myself.  I truly felt I was about to become bedridden and die.  A couple of years ago I was admitted to the hospital with congestive heart failure and my doc told my wife that there was a good chance that she would be planning my funeral.  Even then, I wouldn't consider WLS because I was afraid of the complications.  When I got to such a low place, I finally decided if I didn't do it, I WAS GOING TO DIE!!! and soon!  So, I could definately die because of my weight, or have the surgery, with a remote possibility (my doc said a 2% chance), but at least I would die trying to finally do something to help myself.  I went into surgery with absolutely no fear at all because I knew this was the right thing, but most of all because I got on here every day and read!!  I learned so much here that any fear that I might have had was wiped away.  I personally think this forum ought to be mandatory, as any of the other tests.  Nathan, get involved here, come everyday and hear the testamonies, read the back posts, read the people's profiles, ask questions.  I have now lost 165 lbs total, blood sugar is 78 without meds, blood pressure is normal without meds, can use my legs now, and I feel SO FRICKIN GREAT!  I can't believe how well I can get around.  I am so grateful for my new tool, but you still have to be vigil over your old mind.  It can be a real *****  Good luck on your decision.  We are here to support and encourage you on what ever you decide.  Michael

  You have to identify what it is precisely you're afraid of ..  Are you afraid something will "happen" during the surgery?   (don't  --   "Dr. Nick" is a great surgeon!  )  ..   Or are you afraid of the lifestyle you must adhere to after the surgery?    Hey, that's part of the deal for your "tool" to work (and it WILL) ..    

  Hang in there and be brave ..   Join us on the Texas Forum too, lot of support there, as well as on Dr. NIck's forum ..  padner!   

I can relate, I felt like walking out as well.  Yes, I was in tears and then I had to walk into the OR and the nurses saw the look on my face.  They understand how you feel.  Like me you are probably worried about when you wake up and how the rest of your life is going to be.  Let me tell you I am so happy this was my decision.  I am down 103 pounds since December.  Search your soul and find a way to do it.  My only regret is I didn't do it sooner.  You are young, I am 44 years old and could have enjoyed so many years if I did this earlier.  Good Luck.

I can understand where your coming from.  I was scared to death as well but went through with it.  I woke up and was beating myself up for weeks about what I had done to myself.  But I got better, weight started to come off, I started to be able to move around better, exercise, keep up with my kids, and ultimately reclaiming my life that I had lost for the last 20 years.

I am now almost a year and a half out, down about 155 pounds, and have been maintaining a constant healthy weight for about the last 4 months.  I run almost every day. On the days I don't run I try to ride my bike or find some other activity to partake in.

It's up to you to come to terms with yourself. For me, I am very grateful for what this tool has provided.

Good Luck!

Tom

Nathan,

I'm 32, backed out of it 4 years ago, and now I'm 9 weeks out post-op.  I wish I would've done it that time 4 years earlier, I too got scared and walked away.  It took me over a year to get switched back onto an insurance plan that would cover it!

I didn't have much but high blood pressure, but I did attempt first to lose it on my own, lost 50lbs going to the gym, etc and then never could bust under 300#.  I'm now 288 and still haven't hit the gym yet!! LOL  I'm signing up June 1 after I get some stability in my schedule (babysitter). 

I will say this, the first 3-4 weeks are hell, no question, I read all about it, but I guess I mentally blocked out all the bad stuff and glad I did.  I knew I had a competent surgeon and felt positive about the whole thing.  I had some complications, but all minor, an infection from the catheder which left a cyst on my right nut!  Ouch for a while, now I may have to go in and get it removed (the cyst) lol.  I'm not worried, it was still all worth it.  Be sure you have family or friends or both to help you on the first week or 2, you should rely on them and make it easier for yourself.

Hope you get back in there and do it!!!!!!!!

I wish I could have done his when I was 26!! I had my rny when I was 35. It has been the best 5 years of my life as far as health reasons. Check out the pics on my profile I think my before and afters are there also. Hang in there just put one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will be a loser also.

Derrick

Nathan,
We all get scared. If you're not scared of major surgery then you're probably lying to yourself. I had my surgery 3 weeks ago and I'm glad I did it. if you read my previous posts you'll see one before surgery where I asked if it was normal to have second thoughts about the surgery. The answer I got from everyone was a resounding YES. I am 55 and had diabetes, sleep apnea and high cholesterol. I wanted to get healthy to once again enjoy my family. I have lost 26 lbs since surgery, 41 lbs from my weight when I first signed up for surgery.

It is a very personal decision. You have to be ready mind and body. I have a very supportive family who were there every step of the way. I also found support goups and this site to be a great help also.

Hang in there, when you feel you are ready go for it and don't look back, just forward. It's a great ride.