ObesityHelp

 I dont think anyone is foolish or stupid at least not intentionally. We have all done foolish and stupid things just ask my ex wife.  What concerns me is the level of excuses we allow ourselves to have and the lack of informed consideration people have before surgery.  Because of these failures or lack of mental prep it becomes harder for people who are prepared to get approval, less likely for doctors to do revisions and a source of concern for those who are thinking of surgery.  I lost count the number of people who blast wls surgery because so and so failed.   I know three people personally that failed and encouraged me not to proceed.  When I investigated as to why they failed, lack of exercise, little or no dietary change, no support group participation, continue smoking, drank pop like crazy and the list goes on.  
This is why I prefer mens forum it is much more about info and less about relationship disasters, the scale fluctuating 5 pounds, or how one poster hates the other poster so lets have a ***** session over how I can post what i want and you can't stop me.  This stuff is not helpful at least not to me.  I would like to see more guys on  here  post,   i think they have more to offer.  Of course 70 percent of wls recipients seem to be women.

When I first joined here, I had a hard time figuring out the FART term, then I finally put two and two together and figured out it was the same as a NSV in estrogen-land.  But I sat trying to figure out why it was called a fart, so I made up my own acronym for it:

F-friggin' (cleaned up for you guys)
A-awesome
R-reality
T-turn

That is just me though.

As far as the other, I agree with you.  I don't have much patience for it.  I understand the need to for someone to get on here and complain about thier failures, but I get tired of it everyday.  So, I mostly just read the ones that look like something interesting on the Title line.

You miss the entire point.  I have not passed judgement on anyone beyond saying I am concerned and confused about those who fail from lack of being prepared or failure to utilize the tools they are given. If I do not express this concern or curiosity before my surgery I am not uitilizing my tools or preparing myself.  People fail, I want to now why.  People try and rationalize the behavior that got them here in the first place. I want to know why.  People have food addtictions and they are not addressed during the process and before the surgery.  I want to know why.  This to me is about my life and death not success or failure. If I dont ask the tough questions and only look closely at all the success I will have then you're right maybe I could do stupid harmful things.  I do not want to fail because I will die. Waiting until I am living the Journey does not seem to me like preparing myself and in the process asking the questions that many would like and need answers on.  Why do people fail and why are people not prepared for the long process they will endure. What more can this forum do to help ensure success?Somewhere there needs to be accountability to improve and truly help future wls individuals. It is my understanding or perhaps my selfish desire that this is what this board is for. I do not believe this is just about picking up the pieces.  Falling off the wagon is to be expected but falling of the wagon and eating your refrigerator for the next  6months and then blaming the surgery is not realistic.  I want to know why this happens and I dont feel waiting until after the surgery to ask is beneficial for me or anyone else.  Why are desperation, hopelessness, lack of empathy, depression, compulsions, and  causes of eating disorders not serious enough to fully address before surgery. Again I want to know why. The only person I pass judgement on is myself. No one else got me here. How do I ensure the results I need and what will keep me from trying to kill myself again when I didnt prevent myslef the first time. Blaming my parents, fast food, tv, my job, ,my spouse, my marriage, my life, my appetite, regardless the cause will not fix anything.  Unless surgery is going to place me in a bubble, all those things are going to be there after surgery and whatever my demons was it needs to faced and overcome.  

 Excellent feed back.  I am dissappointed in the medical/insurance field that require things such as 6 months of dieting and not 6 months of consecutive counseling.  The diets have shown to do very little but counseling on the other hand will at least expose some of the burried issues.  I  dont necessarily want the process to be more difficult for folks but as all of my posts have revolved aroun engaging others to offer honest heartfelt feedback as you have.

I dont think anyone wants to fail.  I do think many are given all the rope they need to hang themselves and ultimately put themselves in a position that they see no way out.  That being said sometimes I think the best advice that can be given on here ( and opinions vary) is to tell some of these people they empathize but they need to seek out alternative professional help above all else. 

In had a great child hood.  As best I can assess myself I just eat.  I rarely had the I'm satisfied switch go off it was I am very full trigger.  Two hours later I would return for some other tasty morsel it really did not have to be anything in particular.  I never hoarded, love all good and bad foods and it just ticks me off why some just stop eating and saying oh i cant eat another bite and I could eat more and more. Damn skinny people.  I also questioned and read studies on those that may justify their weight "i have a slow metabolism, I dont eat much."  In reality they overeat and once obese it does not take much to keep you there and make it worse.  Apart from the occasional thyroid issues, we as a nation keep getting fatter. Nearly all of my dads family will die from it.  I have been to countless family gatherings over the years and the fruits amd vegatables were not the favorite dishes.

We have made our lives so difficult and so painful with our weight and we keep dying. I am having surgery so I dont die but the best advice I can ever hope to offer someone is never get to the point where you need it. That being said with all the fat boys outthere this board should be over run with questions and feedback. I have always asked why and question motive drove my parents nuts. It is not because I want to inflict more damage it is because I want to understand and help not enable. Thank you for shairing docd.

 What does that mean

Oh I see, kind of rude and crude and uncalled for.

Hi: Don
             Every time I read your post, it reminds me of the movie, The Bucket List with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The best three quotes in the movie are.
Jack:  Things to remember when you get older.
                  
           1- Never pass-up a bathroom.
           2- Never waste a hard-on.
           3- Never trust a FART.

Now that I'm writing about farts, I had a FART day, the other day reading some of the post, on the other side, omg.
A Fart a day keeps the doctor away.
Keeping it PG.
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Hi: Davo
               I'm a newbie to the Men's forum. I enjoy reading the many stories that are posted, but sometimes I have to do a double take on some of the things I read. Just like you I can't believe the questions some of the people ask. When I started this journey I made sure I had a good medical team to guide me through the maze of paper work, lab test, classes, Nut, surgeon, Ins and all the other things connected to WLS. This is a huge step to take, I would think folks would like to be better informed as to what they are going to do, but many are not. 
I guess sometimes it's best to keep your FARTS in.
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Hi: Davo
               

At the age of 64 yrs old, I'm not looking to WLS to be able to fit into a 29w/ size pants, just like in my high school years. But having said that, if I lose the weight and look thinner. younger and healthier I'll take that too. My main objective is to try and get off all of my medications. Just like so many others on OH I have tried all types of diets, to no avail. Just to go one step further, I was also an owner of a health food store, so I have the background and the knowledge about diets and what is beneficial to maintain a healthy body, but even that was not helpful.

I feel that our eating habits are set in by our parents as children. So as we grow-up we tend to follow the same eating patterns that are familiar to us. Now as adults we need to adjust our eating experiences to a different pattern, but many of us can not and do not, that's the unfortunate part. Other factors come into play with obesity, genetics and medical issues. I agree with you, we need to reevaluate our thinking about what we put in our mouths, and have a serious talk with ourselves or seek help concerning our obesity.

I just started my journey into WLS, in order to get approval I have to follow a six month program with my nutritionist, so far so good.

 

Here in The Sunshine State of Florida.

Stay well:

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