Depression / Lost my Drive / Lost my Confidence


on 10/8/17 8:19 pm - SAINT PAUL, MN
VSG on 08/02/17

Hi y'all!

So, I'm Matt from Minnesota! I finally had VSG on August 2, 2017. Just a little over 2 months ago. I'm not losing the big #'s as I was led to believe I'd be losing! Not only that, but I used to work both in Public Safety and Emergency Medical Services. And ever since putting on all this weight, and realizing that I could in fact possibly become one of those patients that I've dealt with over the years. Which ultimately led to me leaving my dream job. Do I miss it, you betcha! I'm lacking the confidence to go back and get re-certified and someday re-hired. I don't know where I lost or how I lost the confidence.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of loss after surgery or before surgery? And how or what did it take to reclaim your dreams/goals?

Anyway, thanks for listening/reading this!

- Matt

on 10/9/17 3:25 am - Woodbury, MN
RNY on 01/16/14

Everyone loses at a different rate. There's lots of factors, some you can control and some you can't. You only had your surgery a few months ago, make sure you're sticking to your plan, and use this time to reset your habits and routine. The weight will come off.

Don't forget to move also. You talk about confidence. My lost confidence came before surgery when I was way overweight. My confidence came back in spades as I started to move more, and found myself doing things I never thought I could do again.

I see you live in St Paul, I live in the area as well. One thing I started doing was walking at the Mall of America. It was a major suck, but I did the 5K walk. I was able to do the walk before surgery, but it took about 2 hrs. After surgery I got the time down to about 45 min. That time improvement helped my self confidence immensely. From there I was able to start doing more at the Gym.

You got this.


on 10/9/17 1:15 pm
RNY on 08/21/12

I'm sorry, but this is very vague. How much, exactly, have you been losing each month? What's your starting weight and height? We can help more if we know more.

6'3" tall, male. Maintaining a loss of 280 pounds.

Highest weight was 475. Consult weight 04/12 was 411. RNY on 08/21/12 at 359 lbs. Current weight 195.

M1 -24; M2 -21; M3 -19; M4 -21; M5 -13; M6 -21; M7 -10; M8 -16; M9 -10; M10 -8; M11 -6; M12 -5.

Don 1962
on 10/9/17 5:14 pm

Howdy from E. TX Matt!

By "public safety" you law enforcement or a hose dragger?

I understand COMPLETELY what you are dealing with. If you looked at my TCOLE (TX agency that regulates law enforcement here) the first 14 years were spot on perfect. The 15th year the train derailed. I was overweight 300+ pounds, knees were killing me, been shot down on some small town Chief jobs that should have been mine (guys who got them would either get fired for conduct unbecoming or TCOLE yanked their license after it was confirmed he lied about one of his college degrees) I was having major marital issues with 1st ex-wife. Because I was considered to be job hopping the best gig I could get was a Reserve/non paid gig. Sidebar: Chief where I was now has a felony theft conviction on his record. I kept the gig long enough to get my time built up enough to get my Master's Peace Officer Certification. Two months after that I had my RNY done. With all the issues listed above, riding one hell of an emotional roller coaster from the hormone dumping that goes on with WLS, I was about ready to suck start a semi-automatic. Options offered to me were to get professional mental health help voluntarily OR it could be done involuntarily. I knew that if I EVER wanted to get back to the work I feel I was called to do I had to get the help. It was not easy but it paid off! With a two year break in service (one of those years in Georgia) and over 100+ rejected applications I FINALLY got a job again. Fortunately for me my current Chief and I have known each other a long time. I had worked with his older brother at two different agencies. He knew that I had been a damn good officer before and knew it was still in me to be a damn good officer. Part of getting back to work was a psychological evaluation. When it was done I asked the psychologist if I was "normal". His response "You are about as "normal" as anybody who wants to walk up to strange cars at 2:00 in the morning." I took it as a compliment.

Point I'm trying to make here is that riding the roller coaster called the WLS journey a lot of **** is going on. Some of it totally mind blowing and some of it can put the zap on your head. DO NOT HESITATE TO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP!!

FYI: I've been seven years in the same size unis, inner and outer belts and working on my second set of body armor. After five years first one was out of warranty so it was "rehomed" to young officer who was not able to buy a new one. I began at 331 pounds and at lowest was 165 post gall bladder surgery 18 months after RNY. Not going to BS have regained 20 pounds in that time but I can get on treadmill and walk five miles in less than 70:00 minutes. Hope I did not muddy the water.

on 10/19/17 2:30 pm

I had full blown DS . I didn't loose for the first 2 months like I thought... Than all of a sudden by month 3 and 4 it was flying off. I am 1 yr out of surgery and I take a moment to think and I am amazed I lost over 200 lbs this year... It will happen. Stick with the habits you learned and it will happen!

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