ObesityHelp

 Hi,
Keep your self busy. It will help you a lot. 

 I have not had surgery yet, but I can tell you I've been on an anti anxiety anti depression med for about 13 years.  About every 4 years I have to either up or switch my med because it looses it's effectiveness or my body. Builds a tolerance.  

I have researched this topic while working on  my Master's in Counseling. Bulimia and Anorexia do exist after WLS, although most drs don't call it that due to the DSM descriptions/criteria. There are printed case studies though.
I am now a PLPC (provisionally licensed professional counselor). I highly recommend that you seek therapy/counseling to address your fears and compulsions. This can absolutely be deadly. I understand because I am 8 yrs post-op and have facilitated a support group on and off for over 5 yrs. I have feared the weight gain as well. I know people who have dealt with this but refused to admit it was happening. I applaud you for acknowledging this and urge you to seek mental health-care. I am available for counseling session via SKYPE if you cannot find someone in your geographic area.
Please take care of yourselves!!!

Take care,
Tamara

Hi Jessica,

sorry I am just now getting to post to this thread.  I have been so busy with life lately.  Its perfectly normal to be more moody because your body is going through physiological as well as physical changes right now.  Everyone experiences this.  Like I usually say, you can post this on the main board and a hundred people will say the same thing.  If you are concerned or if you just don't like the way you feel about how you are reacting, just seek some advice.  I found somebody to talk to through OH.  just go to www.obesityhelp.com/find/psychologist/  and type in your zip code.  My therapist had Rny too so she was awesome to talk to.

You are sick of being pushed around and dont want to take it anymore.  Good for you, but maybe find a way to approach it in a more tactful way, a way that wont make you feel scared that your personality is changing. ? maybe ?

boxermom

hi Sarah,

I have been dx'd with bpd as well.  Unlike others that call us Crazy or acting crazy we are not. its a chemical thing.  

That being said, you have to realize you are in a very emotional period post op.  at this time, you too are extremely emotional.  i think people forget that fact.  if you go to the main board and post, 'i am emotional 5 wks out, is this normal?' you will get the same answer as i just said.  someone suggested try not to get caught up.  very true.  i speak out of pure emotion at times.  i note this is when my meds need to be increased.  my dh cannot tell me when this is, only i will admit and/or tell me doctor unless my dr. notices first.  nobody else in the world can tell me.  maybe this is just my stubborn side...  i say this just in case you try to tell your dh to get his meds checked he may protest.

please do not stigmatize this disease anymore than it already is.  at one time 'retarded' was, now its 'mentally challenged'.  one day, bpd will be accepted as that is.  there are many support groups you can attend and also http://www.nami.org/


I wish you the best of luck.  I know both are difficult situations.  I am living with both of them.  Plus Type I diabetes, hbp and a child with adhd and a son with bilateral clubfeet with 4 surgeries already.  yes, life is hard.  but remember my favorite words of advise by Victor Frankl:  he who has a why to live for, can live through almost any how.

boxermom

**edited to add: sarah, i want you to know, you did not stigmatize bpd

you are not the only one.  I feel these intense flashes of fear that I am going to gain weight.  I eat something and start feeling the panic that it will make me fat, that I should do something to get rid of it, puke, exercise, not eat anything else.  I think these thoughts and feelings are normal.  I have been trying to calm myself down when this happens.  To not over-correct for the situation. To let myself naturally drift back to eating regularly and normally.  At least that is what I am trying to do, sometimes I just vomit up everything and stay messed up all the rest of the day.  I think binging/overeating and anorexia/bulimia are two sides of the same coin.  I think your weight is really low and you need to see a doctor immediately to prevent it from going lower.  I see that you wrote this post in December so I hope you went to your doctor/therapist.

I am trying to adjust my 0 to 60mph, all or nothing, black or white kind of thinking.  I find it really hard, and I did not realize how much perfectionism is part of my life.  I am starting to exercise, and in my head I am thinking Iron Man and marathon.  That is a ridiculous amount of pressure to put on myself when I have been nearly house bound for years.  My sister says to make my goal consistent exercise 3x a week.  I am flummoxed by the simplicity of the goal.  Yet, she is probably right, because I have never consistently exercised.  I have gone 2 weeks at best, two days at 3 hours a day at most.  I always give up, usually within a few days of starting.  My expectations were to high to even contemplate, and I ran away from such monumental plans.  So I am going to try it, 3 times a week, for three months, let that be my one and only exercise goal and expectation.  My brain is howling at me to try for more, make the Olympics, be the best, the gold ring.  That type of thinking is my problem.  That type of thinking immobilizes me.  It makes it impossible for me to accomplish any task.  It sets me up, really I am setting myself up, to fail.  So try  something different and maybe get different results.  Try instead to keep something going long term.  Be comfortable with less than maximum effort, less than perfection.  We shall see ......... 

 ok so my husband has good days and bad days im 5 weeks and 2 days post op rny and he says all i think about is how i can spend money i really want to star****er aerobics next month to help me with joint issues anyways he hasnt always been like this some days hes supportive some days all we seem to do is argue is there anything i can do to get through his low days i dont know what goes through a bi polar persons mind when they are in their low periods please help

Since WLS, about 7 months ago, I find myself getting angry a lot.  My tolerance for the the things that irritate me are much lower.  I talk back more and put up with less.  I think it is partly do to the fact that I no longer have food as a buffer/soother between me and the world. So I am lashing out.  I also think I used to shove so many feelings down prior to wls, and now I don't want to, or they are just coming out on their own.  I feel more assertive, but also more aggressive, and I have mixed feelings about it.  I feel like my personality is changing and it is strange, exciting, and scary.  Has anyone else felt like this?  Has this happened to anyone else?

I am one of those who had serious concequences from having rny surgery.  While I believe the surgery saved my life, there was little attention paid to the mental, emotional, and relationship problems it brought on.

I had my surger on February 4, 2004, 8 years ago.  I did not have any physical problems at first, but by June 2006, I was suffering from a deep depression and was fighting persisting thoughts of suicide.  After an aborted suicide attempt I was hospitalized.  My antidepressant medication was changed.  This seemed to help...for about a month.  Then the suicidal ideas became stronger and more persistent.  I attemtped suicide, and required a stomach pump.  Because I was the only person in the room who know about the gastric bypass surgery and I was in no condition to tell anyone, they used a tube to pump my stomach that was way too big.  I ended up with an abrased esophagus and a hernia.  What finally helped me?  I left my husband.  The more weight I lost the more controlling he was of my time.  He would expect me to account for every moment I spent away from home, and started accusing me of infedelity. 

When I was preparing for the surgery, I was told about the health benifits that losing the unwanted 200 pounds would bring about.  During this time, almost as a side note, it was explained that there were two things the surgery would not help with: thyroid problems and depression.  Thyroid problems seemed self evident to me.  However I remember laughing at the thought that the surgery would not help with depression.  After all, I was depressed because I was fat, right?  Well, it turns out that I was fat because I was depressed.  The surgery took away my way of coping with daily problems, food.  But I did not have coping mechinism in place to replace food.  Once the major weight loss was over, the daily problems came back, plus I had a jealous husband who did not trust me anymore (by the way, there was not reason for him not to trust me, there still isn't).