So I am currently saving up for my surgery with Dr. Kelly. I am self pay and will be having surgery in July. 
Until then I have adopted a pretty rigorous diet: Husband and I are eating "Paleo" basically only lean meats and veggies. This is my last "Ditch effort" at normal weight loss. I am not doing any dairy, or fruits right now. Nothing to spike glycemic waves. Anyway, I am putting forth A LOT of effort to say the least while trying to do some P90X, weights and WATER. Dispite my efforts for over a month, I have made NO progress on the scale. Today is MLK day and hubby and I have it off work together. I woke up excited to weigh in, surely I have lost weight, I am killing myself over here! Got up at 6am ready for the treadmill and weigh in,snuck on the scale, still 221!!! Slid back into bed and did the silent cry thing for about an hour. How on earth do I defy the laws of math and physics and all that is holy?!!! I am determined to fix this about myself. I do not want to spend the rest of my 30's and the last part of my youth this way. 
I know this is the Mexico forum for Gastric sleeve and all, but I hope its ok if I vent from time to time before my surgery!! I do not have friends I can talk to about this. My friends are thin, I am the happy funny fat girl in the pack of girls. You know the one, the one who always has a smile and a joke, the one men never notice ( I am happily married, but it is still nice to know other find you attractive)
I have passed up a lot of my life watching things from the sidelines, being too embarrased or afraid of nasty comments to participate. I decline invitations to parties and events. I do not like to socialize unless forced to because of my weight. I cannot have a baby with my husband.
My rock bottom hit on New Years. I was invited to a HUGE party that required formal attire. I shopped at every known store in my town and found nothing that didnt make me look like Shamoo. I ended up wearing a rather ugly dress I already had that I felt totally uncomfortable in all night. I people watched all night..... gorgeous women prancing about all night, sparkling in ****tail dresses and stilettos, knowing I was probably one of the fattest girls there out of about 6000 people. My hubby looked fabulous of course, as did my thin friends who danced the night away while I held jackets and chatted with husband. I act like I dont mind, BUT I DO! I want to dance and wear something pretty and not think about my size for one second. Even in my avatar pic, ( I am the blonde on the far left) I was at my sisters wedding. She asked me to be in it and I just couldnt do it. I couldnt imagine all those people looking at my back fat and butt while I stood up there :( i watched from the audience of course. Luckily my sister was ok with it ,as her friend was chomping at the bit to be Maid of Honor.
And if I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say what a beautiful face I have!!!....UGG I even overheard a good looking male nurse tell another nurse while I was in the hospital one time, " Man that girl would be HOT if she wasnt such a fatty" My all time favorite was when an old lady of about 80 years old came up to me at a resturant and said, " My daughter lost a lot of weight on slim fast drinks." When I looked at her shocked and slightly confused, she smiled at me and said, " Its just such a waste of a pretty face. You should try them"
Needless to say I ordered salad that night and sucked in the tears until I could get in my car. She had humilated me in front of everyone, and I of course laughed it off and make a joke of it to seem like I wasnt bothered.
 So anyway, having a day for sure! I really like coming here and reading everyones posts and blogs. It is a highlight in my day and sometimes keeps me from giving up on ever being a normal size. So thanks to you all for that! Cheers

My stats:
5 ft 1
221 pounds
34 years old