- HEALTH TRACKER
Me and my husband have been together for 4 years now. When we got together I weighed 195. I know this is over weight but it did not look bad on me. My husband has never liked really skinny girls, he likes curves. When I had my son in 2010 I gained about 17 pounds, which is not bad. After I had him I went on the Depo shot. I was on it up untill a year ago. I did not like it at all. It had me an emotional mess and I gained alot of weight with it. I felt I didnt have many birth control options since I was breast feeding. I got up to 274lbs, I know even saying that number sounds bad. When I got off the shot I started weigh****chers and began to loose. I got down to 238lbs. My husband wanted us to start trying to have another baby. So I stopped with the diet and we got pregnant. During all this we got moved to a new base. I have been here for 8 months now and havent met any friends. I am in the house all day taking care of the kids and dont know how to meet people here. I also had to give up a great job that I had had for 6 yrs; where i brought home alot more money then my husband. So we have also had a financial struggle since the move. Which feels like its all on me, I have to figure out how to afford everything. So I am now 6 months pregnant and have not gained alot of weight I am now 243lbs. I have not been able to afford to buy any maternity clothes so I am just trying to make my clothes work, which probably doesnt look to great.....But to get to my main reason for blogging today. I have notice lately that my husband has been on the internet alot lately watching porn. It was starting to bother me. Especially since we have only been intimate 3 times since I got pregnant. So I asked him about it, Why he was so into the porn now and not me. He told me he is not attrected to me anymore, that I gained too much weight. It felt so bad to hear those words come out my husbands mouth. I feel like I have givin up everything for him and now he says this... I am so hurt and do not know where to go from here its not like I can do anything about my weight right now. I told him we should go to counseling and he says no. So I told him that I was going to go then, I need some type of support, and he said no. That I was just going to get him in trouble. I just dont know what to do. I did not mean to gain the weight and I was trying to loose it. I cant do anything about it till after the baby comes. How am I supposed to deal with knowing my husband is disgusted by me while my stomach keeps growing with the baby.. im sorry if this is long. i just feel lost right now and I am all alone here except for my children.