Humiliation....Your Experiences?

hmtmomof4
on 10/16/13 11:23 am - Canada
RNY on 11/07/13

So tomorrow is Day 1 of Opti for me.  I've said my goodbyes to all of the terrible food that got me in this position, and I'm also reflecting on reasons WHY I am doing this.

The two events that stand out in my mind are going to Wonderland with my nieces a few years back.  I got on the ride and there was NO way the lap bar was going to close.  They had to unlock everyones bars and ask me to leave the ride! I was soooo embarassed and cried all the way back through the exit line.

The other instance that stands out is a few weeks back.  Some lady cut me off and I honked at her.  She pulled up beside me and screamed  "Lose some weight you FAT COW!"  OMG I am sooooo ready for this! I don't want to be a fat Mom!  I have two kids in kindergarten (twins) and a 1 year old.  I don't want them to get teased because of me.  Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my LIFE!!!  Anyone else have any experiences with cruel people.  They can be sooooo hurtful!

Referral Sent: Jan. 2013, Orientation: Mar. 2013, Social Worker: Jun. 2013 Nurse: Jul. 2013, Nutrition Class: Aug. 2013, Dietician: Aug. 2013, Psych: Aug 2013  Surgeon: Oct. 2013, PATTS: Nov. 2013 SURGERY: Nov. 7th 2013!!!

      

Pamela.S.
on 10/16/13 11:58 am - Canada

Best of luck to you!  I've had a few - most recently my botched MRI - although others have gone through worse.  I do recall them having a really hard time locking the bar in place when my husband and I went on the roller coaster at LaRonde (Montreal). I know that coworkers have called me "F@T F@#$ing B@tch".  That one hurt.  I always felt that people judged me on my weight and not on my skills.  I am currently looking for a job and just hate how I feel about myself.  Oh, just remembered a good one - newly married and my mother-in-law says to me "why don't you go get your stomach stapled" in front of a whole group of people at a party!  I was 23 and I was mortified.  Now I just turned 50 and it's time to get off the yo-yo and get on with my life.

I am actually watching "My 600 lbs life".  My doctor just did the referral in September, so I don't know how long my journey is going to be, but I can honestly say that I've been thinking about it for the last 15 years!

    

Referral Sept/13, changed centres to HRRH - Orientation Mar 24/14.  Feb 5, 2015 - SURGERY!!!! HW 286.4 SW 264

        

Zizzler
on 10/16/13 12:38 pm

Oh gosh every day little things - just recently I was replaced on a project because it was in a very small room and they did not think there would be room for me.  They chose my slim colleague so there would be more room. They weren't mean about it but there it was.  There is one woman at work is super tiny, a runner, always looks great.  Today I was walking in front of her and turned around to see who was there and she was doing that "water fountain" look where she is looking up and down with a sort of constipated look on her face. I have seen that look before and it makes me want to punch something. She said hello in sickly sweet voice and I acted like nothing happened, as usual.  Its these small things that I find draining. Like going to the endocrinologist and being weighed by a nurse and told "well that's not the direction we were looking for" in a cheery voice by someone who is a size zero.  Ugh!!

Highest: 320, Surgery: 255 (Aug/14), Lowest: 132, Current: 167, Goal: 155

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. - Soren Kierkegaard

Missy_w8
on 10/16/13 1:15 pm - Canada

I could probably come up with a really long list, if I wanted to work at this for hours.  So many people seem to think that it is their right to take a jab at your weight when they are upset with you for whatever reason.  It's awful that so many people think that is OK!

One that really stands out for me - Back when I was a supervisor at Blockbuster, I had a customer come in to rent a movie on his girlfriend's account.  There were huge late charges on the account, so I had to tell him that he could not rent a movie unless he paid al the outstanding charges.  His response was to call me a fat fu**ng cow and make gestures like he was eating.  Then, when he left the store, he proceeded to open the drop box slot and scream a few more derogatory comments about my size from outside.  I was mortified!

This surgery will hopefully be the start of the end of all that for me.  One more week to go!

 

Referral Sent: Jan. 2012, Orientation: Oct. 2012, Post Op Diet Class: Aug. 2013, Surgeon: Sep. 2013,  SURGERY: Oct 23th 2013!!!

   

Bubbasphat
on 10/16/13 1:26 pm
the best one i ever heard was from my mom she was heavy too, ah those genes, and she used to go to T O P S and the one woman in her group was so big they had to weigh her at the post office, since the scale they had didn't go high enough
Can you imagine going in to the post office and ask to be weighed, probably had to go in the freight door, sorry couldn't resist. sometimes hearing these stories of humiliation helps keep us motivated

Bubba

      

Onward and
Downward

on 10/18/13 9:06 am, edited 10/18/13 9:06 am - Canada
RNY on 11/07/12

I fail to see the humour in the comment about the freight door.

Referral to registry: Oct 21, 2011    Orientation (TWH): Feb 22, 2012     Surgery: Nov 7, 2012

Come to Toronto East End Coffee Nights! Click here for details.

  

Steps78
on 10/16/13 2:01 pm

I don't feel motivated when I or others are humiliated. I feel very sad and angry. I don't want this surgery so that I won't have to face humiliation again, I want it to improve my health. Chances are that the ******** who say and do those horrible things will remain ******** but I will no longer have the best douchebag detector out there - fat on my body. Instead of wanting to be skinny so that the idiots direct their hatred to others and not us, maybe we should push the conversation towards not accepting such behaviour towards those who are overweight. Society needs to meet us halfway here. 

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - people, food, situations, things, and anything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Now I know its "love of oneself". Charlie Chaplin

    
solongtubby
on 10/17/13 3:37 am
The fat on your body is the greatest douche bag detector???? OMG, I love that, it's so true...

Nora

 RNY with Dr. Huynh June 5, 2013.

 

    
Onward and
Downward

on 10/18/13 9:05 am - Canada
RNY on 11/07/12

Bravo bravo bravo!  And I completely agree with you.  Humiliation never motivated me, neither did cruel jokes about my weight.

Referral to registry: Oct 21, 2011    Orientation (TWH): Feb 22, 2012     Surgery: Nov 7, 2012

Come to Toronto East End Coffee Nights! Click here for details.

  

Steps78
on 10/16/13 2:14 pm

I forgot to add that I have been overweight my entire life and have been made fun of because of it since childhood. I have stories that could make anyone cringe and because I am a very sensitive person I remember them all. 5 years ago however (I'm 35) I decided to no longer "pretend I didn't notice" or "pretend not to hear" and chose to make sure they knew I heard and what I thought about it. Even with co workers and acquaintances. I do not waste energy and time even if it's a good morning on people with that kind of evil heart. 

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - people, food, situations, things, and anything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Now I know its "love of oneself". Charlie Chaplin

    
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