Hello
Hi everyone that is reading my post. Sorry to have been gone so long. I have been in a depression since I lost my mom and then a few months ago I lost my sister. My oldest brother is now having some health issues. I have not been back home since mom passed. Depression is a horrible thing. I couldn't even go back for my sister's funeral. I have been writing a journal that my dr said for me to try and it has helped me a lot. My eating has gotten out of control though. Stress eating was always bad for me and since mom passed I have really gained the weight. I am so upset over that. Lost a friend that I thought was a "good" friend. She just up and left me. Then after several months of being "gone" she wants to be friends again. HUH? Where was she when I needed her? Thought she was my friend? A "close" friend? Close friends just don't up and disappear on you. But that is over with. I am moving on and do not need that in my life. Nor do I need the others that have also hurt me so deeply. They can go hide in their secret group and talk all they want about me and others. God knows how they are and in the end they will pay. I am done playing games.
So I will try and be back and hopefully we can get this group back and support each other again. OK?
HUGSSSS
Hugs Judy. I am glad you posted the update.
I don;t come often to this forums since it is mostly non active, but I try to look at it a couple of times per month.
Condolences to you for your loses. Problem with us getting older is that people close to us are getting older and some of them are "checking out" going to better place.
Depression sucks. when I try to fight it - I feel like i want to crawl into a cave and just sit there. But life goes on. I have loses , so do my friends. I am trying to be there for them, as they are trying to be there for me.
As for 'friends" you talking about - sometimes people get disconnected. Unfortunately - if someone leaves you high and dry as you are dealing with life challenges - their leaving destroys the bond and trust you had with / for them. And that trust and bond - often can't be rebuild.
I also noticed that finding new friends and creating real bond as i get older can be difficult. I am much more careful, more skeptical of people. But good bonds are still possible to make.
I hope you keep improving and getting less depressed day after day. I am pretty sure I need change in medication for my anxiety. The one I am on - are no longer very effective. I hope I can see a specialist soon. I hate the idea of changing those type of meds, but I really don't want deal with the anxiety attacks I am having.
Lets hope our lives can get better for no on.
Hugs.
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
Thanks for answering me!!! Thought I lost everyone!!!
It has been a rough road for the last year and a half for me that is for sure and then to have who I thought was my BEST friend of ALL time to just drop out of my life...THAT HURT!!!!!! Then to find out all along she has been on FB with others and had me blocked. I am DONE!!!!!!! No more friends and I do NOT care if that friend of hers sees this and reports back to her or not. I don't care anymore. I am tired of being hurt.
Finding new friends is not in my book at all right now. Been hurt enough. My trust has been broken and will be hard to repair.
Thank you so much for your condolences. Means a lot to me. HUGSSSSSSSS
Have you tried writing a journal? Writing down anything and everything? It DOES help!!
Hope to see you back here soon.
HUGSSSSSS
I used to write in journal when I felt alone, abandoned or betrayed by people I though were my friends. I still do that once in a while. I made my profile private, so anytime I feel that I need to, I write part of my blog on my profile.
I am lucky I have a partner who is very special and understanding. Plus I am lucky I have 2 great long term friends, who are there for me when I need them, and I am therefore them. I not only like them, but also respect and both are married to good, smart guys. Very special peopke.
Since there were no posts on this forum, I stoped cgevkcheit as often as before.
If you even need to write something, just because, you can always send me PM. Have in mind that I often travel, and sometimes I may not have an access to OH. In 2 weeks we are going on a cruise to Alaska. I am so excited. But work is very busy, and I am stressing trying to do as much as I can .before I leave on vacation.
I've been to Alaska once before, but it was a business trip and beside a beautiful view from the hotel window, I did not do much sightseeing.
I look forward to the cruise. We went but crazy on spending on the excursions, but who knows when we can go on a cruise like that in Alaska, so we want to see as much as possible see.
Hugs.
Hala. RNY 5/14/2008; Happy At Goal =HAG
"I can eat or do anything I want to - as long as I am willing to deal with the consequences"
"Failure is not falling down, It is not getting up once you fell... So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again...."
