Hi there,


I feel like I stuck inside a nightmare that just will not go away and I want nothing more than to wake up and shake myself out of it but nothing will get me out of this bad dream.


Tomorrow is our D Day meaning tomorrow is the day we get to go to the doctor for the NT Ultrasound. I am so nervous because this is how I  found out that I lost a baby back in November.

Background information: My husband and I got pregnant with our 2nd baby last fall and we were surprized by the news well rather shocked actually. After shock wore away we got excited because we thought how nice it would be to have the kids so close in age. We told everyone and then I went for the susposeively routine NT Ultrasound when I was 12 1/2 weeks. We could not find a sitter so I had to go alone and I will never forget me telling my darling husband "Oh its no big deal it will so fast and they probably will not even let me look at the baby on the monitor. You will not be missing much". He stayed home with our little boy and then that is when darkness fell, our world was forever changed. The Ultrasound Tech could not find a heart beat and so doctor after doctor came in until finally someone told me what was going on. They said, " We are so sorry but the baby does not have a heart beat". I didn't understand. Finally it sank in and I had to keep my composure long enough to not get admitted to the physc ward to call my husband to tell him the terrible news. I also had to make  a bunch of decisions on the spot and scheduled a DNC since the doctor said that the baby must of died a week or two ago and my body was not rejecting aka missacarring the fetus.

November 15th 2011 we went in and had the DNC.

Current Information:

I am now  12 weeks pregnant again and both my husband and I are terrified and have not told a soul since it was so hard to deal with all the sympathy and be the family pitty story. We haven't even let ourselves believe that we are even pregnant or that it is really happening yet out of fear.
Tomorrow is the day I go back in for this screening for NT defects and I am just so scared of the thought of hearing the same terrible news.

Any kind thoughts or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.


Warmly,


Broom

I had a similar experience.  A missed miscarriage is such a terrible ordeal for anyone to go through.

We finally got pregnant for the very first time after 6 years of trying and were so excited.  I was feeling very good other than tired and all was great.  I went for a dating ultrasound at 9 weeks and was told that baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks.  It was crushing.  I hadn't had any symptoms of miscarriage at all...not so much as a cramp or a spot.  That night my body caught up with what my brain now knew and I started miscarrying on my own.  I ended up doing it naturally and didn't have to have a DNC. 

Now the good news!  I got pregnant again the first month that we really tried after that and I now have a beautiful 2 year old little girl.

I really understand what you're going through right now because I was a wreck for every ultrasound during my second pregnancy.  I had them weekly and then biweekly for the first 12 weeks because I was with a reproductive endocrinologist that time and I was so nervous every time that I was going to have the same experience but everything was perfect every time and I had a dream pregnancy.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

I'm so sorry for your previous loss :(
I had a long infertility journey and then an ectopic pregnancy. I got pregnant this time with the help of an RE.
I was originally pregnant with twins and we lost one of the babies between 8 and 10 weeks. We knew the twin was probably not going to make it because it was not growing at the correct rate. But it had a little heartbeat and we were hopeful for a miracle.
I had an anatomy scan at 18.5 weeks for the surviving twin. 2 days before my scan a coworker of mine found out her baby died in utero at 26 weeks gestation and didn't know why! I had a complete PTSD panic breakdown and drove to my OB's office in hysterics totally convinced my baby was dead and terrified that I would find out at my anatomy scan the next day. It took about an hour for me to meet wiht the nurse and then she had trouble finding the heartbeat. It was AWFUL. Eventually another nurse was able to find the baby's heartbeat and then I had the ultrasound the next day and everything was perfectly normal.
Hopefully you will also get very good news at your scan tomorrow! I think it is totally normal and expected for you to be feeling like this given your history. Good luck and please let us know how it goes.
Hugs,
Nikki

I can not even imagine how you feel, I can only tell you that you are strong, you are brave, and you deserve this Awsome gift from God. I am sending you a whole lot of huggs kisses, prayers for a smooth, healthy happy UNEVENTFUL pregnancy and delivery in JESUS NAME!!!! Much love Susan

How did your appointment go Broom?

Hello All,

I wanted thank each and every one of you for your kind words and encouragement. They were so heart felt and I can't thank you to those who shared their experiences. Well my appointment was yesterday and let me tell you I was a nervous wreck. I couldn't sleep and with traffic not on my side we ended up arriving 15 mins late to the appt even though we left the house an hour early.

Long story short, the first thing I told the Ultrasound tech was I needed to know if the baby had a heartbeat. When I get nervous I have a tendency to share my life story, so I explained to her this test was the one we found out that I lost the baby back in November. In a cold and untouched manner the Ultrasound tech responded "Oh Yeah" that is too bad". I kind of wanted to smack her for the lack of compassion but I guess it comes with the job when you deal with this day in and day out it would leave you with a tough skin.

That is why I could never be a health care professional and a teacher instead. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

All was forgiven when she stated she could find a heart beat and then showed up the precious Little baby's profile. My Darling Husband could swear the baby was sucking his thumb.


I was on cloud nine all day and wanted to scream from the rooftops.

We still haven't told anyone yet but I think we are going to tell the family on Sunday and do what we always planned. I had bought Cole my little guy a shirt that says "Big Brother" and we were going to let Cole walk in and see who notices the shirt.

P.S.  I also found out my thyroid hormone TSH is low. Have you ever had this and what course of action was needed.

Thanks again,

Best of luck!


Broom

Do you take any Thyroid meds right now? When the TSH is low, the Thyroid hormon is high, wich is what happens naturally when anyone is pregnant, though I would consult with your OB to make sure that your levels are appropriate.

I don't have a thyroid, so I have to take synthroid every day, and since I am a thyroid cancer survivor, they already had me on a pretty high dose, so my TSH is low. This helos prevent the cancer from growing back. I am seeing an endocrinologist and he will be monitoring my Thyroid levels closely during pregnancy in case I need to make any adjustments.

That is great news Broom! I am so happy for you guys! Have fun with the announcement :)

Congrats! Best wishes for you and your husband. Pregnancy after a miscarriage is nerve racking, but as I sit here looking at my baby girl is was all worth it!