HI- I think every case is different but to me it doesn't sound like you're out-eating your procedures. I had RNY in 2006 and only lost 35 pounds, despite eating 500-800 calories a day. I had it done at Kaiser, and they put you on a specific diet to follow for a number of months. I did that diet and lost nothing; their expectation was that a person would lose an average of 3 pounds per week. Being fat, we go through a lot of attempts to lose weight and our bodies dont always respond like we hope they will.
I now weigh 100 more than I did before my RNY. even though I still have a small pouch. I eat far less than I did before surgery but my metabolism is shot and I am looking to have a revision to a DS. I need more malabsorbtion. And I am guessing that you may need something like that also. Your body failing to lose weight is not your fault if you are doing your part- you may be able to find what your body needs to be successful, even if it is your 3rd surgery.
I totally understand feeling defeated but let me encourage you not to feel ashamed. You've been through enough and some bodies simply don't respond the way we would hope. I have heard that 10% of all RNY's fail from the start- that people just don't lose weight, despite their adherence to their program. What more can we be expected to do, except to keep looking for a solution? Weight loss surgery is still a young process- years from now it will be much more fine tuned. Until then, I guess we are the people that the doctors are learning from.
Best of luck- I hope you find something that works for you.