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 Willow Grove, PA Duodenal Switch (10/19/09) Member Since: 03/01/07[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 6/13/07 5:05 pm Last Edit: 6/13/07 5:10 pm Hi all, The following are just some (rambling!) thoughts I've had lately, and I wondered if any of you have experienced something similar. I've always been anti-sizeism. I think it's completely unacceptable the way fat people are discriminated against in our society, and have done what I can to advocate against it. I think the anorexic beauty ideal set out by the media and advertising is complete BS. I love the idea of size acceptance and being "big and proud" but I've always had low self-esteem and have never been able to feel that way about myself personally. Now that I've decided to have WLS, I feel really alienated from size-positive groups. For some reason, they're all fervently anti-WLS. It's like they think that WLS is somehow a threat to what they're trying to accomplish. What frustrates me is the refusal to acknowledge that, while some people can be fat and healthy, there are also health problems that can coincide with obesity and choosing to address these problems does not make you a traitor. On the other hand, I've been troubled by some of the sentiment (sometimes vitriol) I've seen towards fat people in certain WLS circles. I've actually seen formerly MO people state that they "hate" fatties. I'm also bugged by the notion that our lives as obese people are somehow nullified or invalid. Or that someone who weighs a certain amount is automatically a miserable shell of a person who would be better off skinny. I don't think that's necessarily true - I have good friends who are heavy, healthy and living it up - no fronting. I respect their choice to do so. I hope they will respect my choice to have RNY. I guess I'm feeling caught between two worlds, lately, not entirely comfortable in either. I can only imagine it'll get worse post-op. Have any of you had this dilemma? If so, have you been able to find a happy medium? (And if you made it this far, thanks for reading my first full-length novel - lol!) -Jenna |
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 AR Member Since: 02/24/07 [Latest Posts] | Matt C. has deleted this message. |
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 Fredericton, Canada Member Since: 10/27/06 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 6/13/07 6:00 pm Awww poor Jenna :) You think thats a long post??? pffft if ya cant run with the big dogs stay on the porch baby ;) OK... You can not be anti-sizism AND be against WLS.. antisizism implies we accept people for who they are at whatever size they are. Nothing in there about getting mad at people for changing their size be it bigger or smaller. Right now I feel great. If I don't lose another pound I wont shed a tear or try to diet harder. Im 195 pounds, Im still obese and Im still at risk for weight related illnesses. I'm NOT 327 pounds, sick, on a dozen pills a day or suffering from constant pain of a hundred varieties. Anyone who would begrudge me that is a group of people I would have no interest in being a part of. I think if nothing else you have to work harder to find tolerance. Tolerance in that being heavy isn't wrong but YOU being heavy makes YOU unhappy for various reasons from health to mind and that is YOUR choice to change if you so choose. Skinny fatties (yeah I said it) who hate fatties are simply still mad at themselves and have issues on their issues. Kinda like gay rednecks beating up "queers"... Its a sad little world we live in but nothing human is perfect ;) I am a fattie. I have food addiction. Shopping, cooking, organizing, and serving food are obsessions for me. My transfer addiction? Calorie, protein, fat, carb, fiber counting etc and label reading in general. My favorite day of the week? Flyer day I LOVE looking through the grocery store flyers. I make lists for foods I want to cook this week and foods in the fridge right now I need to use/cook. I think about food pretty much half of my waking time. The only way I can remain smallish is to refocus my fattie/foodie love to a healthier version there of. Heck I am a restaurant manager, my mom is a cook of 42 years. Food is my life and always will be. I am not ashamed of who I am. I am not ashamed of getting surgery. Stand up for who you are and what you want and do not let others make you feel small for that. HUGS PK |
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 | Post Date: 6/13/07 8:34 pm Have you ever heard of the book Fatso?? I read it years ago and it talked about how fat people should be accepted and I loved the idea. And I believe the woman who wrote it was one of the first fat acceptance/pro plus body size leaders in anti-sizeism. But I am the first to admit I judged people on being thin, or at least I used to. I used to think that thin people automatically hated me because I was fat and I hated them because I was so large and why couldn't they be? I would always feel eyes on me (if people even decided to acknowledge my existance by making eye contact - lots of people don't if you are large) but IMHO I think that you can and should be accepted for any choices you make. I can see most fat people (and personally I hate that word. The only F word not allowed in my childs vocabulary is the word fat) - let me reword - I can see most obese people who are pro-plus size would be critcally harsh on those who decided to have WLS. I think that it is mainly ignorance for this attitude. I never expect or will work toward a size 0. I will never expect to wear my husbands T-shirt or fit into his jeans. I am just not going to be a incredible small person. And quite honestly I don't want to be really thin. I want some chunk on me. My husband met/dated/married me over 300 pounds so you can bet I did not do this because he wanted me to (except for the health aspect of course.) I think that if you can't be accepted for any choices you make you need to re-evaluate the positive aspects any group is making on your life. I get encouragement here at OH. My family is a bunch of MO people who don't want to change their lives and I can't really associate with them right now because they react negatively to my weight loss. I am almost smaller then my oldest sister who has always been the lightest of us all. She is going to get awfully angry when I pass her weight. She probably won't want to talk about it. That is her loss. I would never throw it in her face but if she can't handle it that's her problem not mine. And I can't wait until I here "Well you had WLS..." Well ummmm yeah - I did it the way that I knew that it would work for me so I can be around for myself and my daughter and hubby! And you think I'm dumb? Hell no! Sorry about my long post. I just think that if you can't be accepted fat or thin then that group has no room in your life. Just think of it this way - if you decided to leave this group would you think they would say behind your back "Well she had WLS and now is skinny and wants nothing to do with "fat" people!" If you think they would say that then I think you have your answer. Love ya sweetheart. Stay happy - WLS is the best thing I have ever done for my life. MY LIFE. No one elses. |
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 BEE EFF EEE, CA (07/11/06) Member Since: 08/09/06[Latest Posts] | Post Date: 6/14/07 7:49 am I see the same issues every day now that I've had WLS. I'm thin now and the people who are obese give me the cold shoulder. I try and be sensitive about it and not talk all the time about my success but the other day a girl had issues with her sister because her sister could do plastic surgery (and she couldn't) and I did WLS (and she can't). It seems so unfair to them (apparently) that they can't do the surgery to fix their problems and that we (apparently) could. Now I know that WLS doesn't fix ALL my problems with food or people or my own self-esteem but they seem to think that now that I've had surgery and lost a ton of weight it fixes everything...What sort of anti-sizism is that? I'm not FIXED. I'm better than I was but not 100% totally perfect...No one is. But....People are jealous...They'll always be that way. |
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 'bout 45 minutes from San Francisco, CA Member Since: 12/13/05 [Latest Posts] | Post Date: 6/14/07 9:16 am Last Edit: 6/14/07 9:21 am I agree 100%! The sad part is I'm now allowed to keep my "fat girl" membership card. Let me explain that comment. I was standing in line at Target one day when two ladies behind me were joking about not trying on their clothes before they buy them. They were both MO. I've always been the kind of person that would talk to a wall if it would listen. I talk to total strangers all the time. So, being me, I turned and with a big smile on my face said something about how much difference there was inches wise in two pairs of pants both the same size and how much I wished there was a set rule on clothing sizes. They looked at me like I had two heads and one of them said something about what would a skinny little thing like me know about bigger sizes. They both turned away. WHAT? I'm not allowed to talk to MO people anymore now that I'm thin? I've had similar things happen. I've always been one to look you in the eye and smile as I walked past you. 99% of the time, I got a smile back. Now, I've noticed that MO people DON'T smile back and they look away! WTF? At the gym, I'm friendly too. And, I get dissed by the overweight people. It's not fair! I didn't want to give up my membership card. I wanted to keep it!
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