Friends act different now

AngieT75
on 6/6/11 3:48 am, edited 6/6/11 3:54 am
Some of my so called friends are acting different now. Little comments about. I hope you dont get smaller than me etc. And not inviting me to things. Is this normal  or jealous or what?
getting on my nerves really. I do not come in to work and say everyday oh i lost this much etc. I only respond if they ask. the other day a girl at work said. What size are you now I said 18/20 she said what size were you I said 30/32. she said well i wear 16 and i hope you dont get smaller than me. i said well i will because i want to lose another 100 lbs and she got Mad. i mean ha da temper fit mad. WTH?? i would be happy for someone but these ppl at work are acting like little babies.

RNY Nov 17, 2011

High weight 423

Surgery day 403

Current 162

261 lost

Tonya0531
on 6/6/11 3:56 am - Lake, MS
I think everyone starts acting differently.  My sister-in-law has made snyde comments about our trip to the beach in July.  I think it's a change for them and us.  I'm the same person inside.  My outside may be changing but that's it.  So far my brain is still the extremely overweight self-conscience person it was over a month ago!  Just give them time.  They are adjusting.
Tonya
HW: 274  PreOp Diet: 271  Surgery: APRIL 25, 2011   
LilySlim - (6Jve)
I love my new life!!!
Celia S.
on 6/6/11 3:56 am - Grand Junction, CO
Sounds like jealousy to me. Remember they have insecurities too and they're probably used to you being the heaviest person in the group. If they're true friends, they'll get over it. If they don't get over it, you don't need them! You need people around you *****alize that this isn't about vanity, but about your health!

Best of luck to you!
facethemusic
on 6/6/11 4:09 am
It sounds like jealousy to me.  I've found that the people who give me the most crap about having this surgery are the people around me that are overweight or obese themselves.  I wouldn't let them get to you.  Yes, you are going to be smaller than her.  She needs to deal with that.  If she is so insecure with the way she looks then she needs to work to get smaller.  People with insecurities, especially about their weight, tend to lash out when they see someone doing better than they are.  I don't know that I would answer questions about my weight at work if that is how they are going to act. 
 HW-240, SW-233, CW-158, GW 135 @ 5'3.5"
RNY April 2011, Reversal August 2011.  
I still have a pouch so I'm a hybrid.

     
 
  
steve D.
on 6/6/11 4:20 am - West Fargo, ND
For me, I define a friend as "a person's needs answered".  Sounds like you need a new definition.

Steve
            
EboniLamis
on 6/6/11 4:56 am - MI
When my sister had surgery I had to deal with being the fatest sister.  She also started trying to encourage me to lose weight when I did not ask for her advice.  She had DS and at the time my mind set was not on having weight loss surgery.  It hurt my feelings that now people were looking at me to lose weight not just her.   

I say this to say since I have been on the other side most people are afraid to be the only fat person in the group.  Especially if you were the heaviest and now they are the heaviest person in the office.  It can hurt and often give the other person self esteem issues, because she felt confort from you being over weight. 

I think she is just self conscience.  I hope I made since.
                        
psx chelly
on 6/6/11 5:16 am, edited 6/6/11 5:17 am

You are loosing weight for yourself and your own health.  Your not loosing weight for them, or for them to be your friend.  If they dont like it, too bad.
            
hsunshine
on 6/6/11 5:49 am - Baltimore, MD
I think we all fulfill a role in our friends' lives and when we make a drastic change, we dont always continue to fulfill that role.  I was the fat girl and now that I'm not, it has changed some of my relationships.  I remember one friend who, preop, asked me if I was still going to be her friend when I got "thin and hot".  It made me think about how she really saw me.  Just remember that this is their baggage and not yours.  If you lose some people along the way, they probably weren't really your friend to begin with.
         
twooten
on 6/6/11 6:32 am - Loveland, CO
 jealousy!!! I am sorry people are doing this to you. CONGRATS on what you have done so far and will do going forward. My friends are the other way always want to know where i am at how much i have lost and i'm getting to the point where i'm sick of answering and them needed to know all the time... sorry not much help
Tami HW: 288 / SW: 273 / SG: 187 GOAL REACHED / PG: 160
T. Deeds
on 6/6/11 8:41 am
OMG, I can't believe people act like that!  Maybe by you saying that you want to loose another 100 lbs, that made her realize how overweight she is.  It sucks, obese and formerly obese people are damned if they do, damned if they don't.   Anyway, congratulations on loosing so much weight!

               
    

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