OT What would happen if I checked into a mental health facility for awhile?

My husband is active duty in the AF & we have 3 small children ages 6, 5, & 4. I am having a very rough time lately and I don't know what to do. Can I check into a mental health facility for awhile and if I do, what would happen? Would my husband receive leave to take care of the kids while I was gone? Would the state or the military try to say I am an unfit parent and try to take them away?

I've just had such a horrible time since we got stationed here in California lase September. The base does not have any housing available for us even if we were to waive our right for a 4 bedroom & wanted to take a 3 bedroom. We had to rent a place off base. We paid over $1,500 to get into the first place. We were there for 39 days before we got the eviction notice from the bank stating that the owner had defaulted on his loan, the building was going up for auction, & that we had to leave. We still don't have our deposit back from him. Then we just found out that the owner of this house hasn't made a mortgage payment since June of last year. We didn't move in untill November. He hadn't made a mortgage payment for 5 months before we moved in and he didn't have any business renting it out. He has stolen almost $10,000 from us and starting Sept. 1, the bank will be starting the foreclosure on this house & starting the eviction process on us.

My husband and I agreed to try to buy a house out here close to the base instead of renting again. We got preapproved for a loan and found an amazing house. We put in a bid the same day we saw it. They asked for our best and final offer the next day, so we offered $11,000 over the asking price as long as they paid the closing cost. The next day, they counter offered & we accepted. We had to give them a $500 good faith deposit to let them know we wanted the house. Our real estate agent told USAA that we had a fully executed contract and that we were safe to lock in our interest rate. We paid a $350 non-refundable deposit for the appraisal of the house. Then today, we found out that our real estate agent NEVER even had a signed copy of the contract, the bank decided not to sign the contract because we have a VA loan, and that they have already sold the house to someone else! Our real estate agent had the nerve to tell me that we'll go look at houses tomorrow. What a B-word!!! There's nothing we can do about any of it either cause renters have no rights and there was never a signed contract.

Anyway, I don't know how to handle this or how to deal with it. I HATE California and all of the deceitful people that live here! I've never been on anti depressants or anything like that, but I think I need to do something. Everything just seems so hopeless!

The state will not say you are an unfit parent just because you are hospitalized for a mental health issue.  When you say "check into a mental health facility," I assume that's what you're talking about.  Being admitted to a psych unit or psych hospital?  I don't know how the military would view it but I don't think the military actually takes kids away from parents, do they?  I think if someone in the military thought you were neglecting or abusing your kids, they would call Child Protective Services (which may go under a different name in your state) and they would investigate.

Now, if any of the staff at the hospital have reason to think you are abusing or neglecting your kids. they are legally required to report that to Child Protective Services.  So like, if you tell them that some days you get so mad you can't help it, you hit your kids, they have to report it.  If you tell them that some days you're too depressed to get out of bed and your kids go hungry all day, they have to report it.  If a report does get made, CPS has to investigate but they are supposed to make every effort to keep kids in their homes.  So if you had said you get so mad you hit your kids, they might tell you that you have to go to an anger management class.

Now, I don't know if your husband would get leave to take care of the kids.  I don't know how the military deals with that.  Do you know what would happen if you had a heart attack or something and had to be hospitalized for a while?  Would he get leave for that?

Oh no, I don't think it's anything like that. I mean, I don't have any anger problems or trouble making sure the kids are taken care of.

I'm just so overwhelmed by all of this and I don't know what to do. There's nowhere for our family to go. I just want to get help before it gets any worse.

OK, then no one is going to try to take your kids away.

Are you able to take care of yourself?  Like, are you eating, bathing, stuff like that?  Are you thinking of hurting yourself?  Those would be the main reasons you would be admitted to a mental health facility.  Otherwise, most doctors prefer to try to treat you as an outpatient.

If I'm understanding you, though, you feel like you need some help right now.  Can you get an appointment with your doctor tomorrow?  Your PCP or any doctor could prescribe something for anxiety for a few days.  You can probably get an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist (or both) some time next week if you're willing to make lots of phone calls until you find one that can see you soon.

But if you feel like you can't wait until then or if you are thinking of hurting yourself, you can go to any emergency room.

I haven't been eating alot, but I haven't been hungry. I still get in my fluid, protein shakes, & vitamins though. I don't want to hury myself or anything like that, but I'm tired of fighting and part of me just wants to give up. It seems like no matter how hard we try, nothing works. We tried renting, but for the second time in less than a year, we have to move because someone else didn't pay their bills. Then we tried to buy, but we were lied to and the house was sold right out from under us eventhough we accepted the bank's counter offer. It seems like it's just been one thing after another and I can't deal with it anymore. I've never been on anxiety medicine or anti-depressants before. How long do you have to be on them? How do they help? Before I had kids, I just would have gotten some wine coolers or something, but I haven't drank since I found out I was pregnant with my oldest child.

With antidepressants or meds for anxiety, you can take them for just a few months if that's all you need or you can take them for years and years if that's what you need.  There are meds for anxiety that you take every day to help you feel less anxious and there are other meds for anxiety that you only take when you feel particularly anxious.  I use Klonopin for anxiety.  I just take it when needed which might be once or twice a week.  I'm trying to think of how to explain what it does for me.  When I'm anxious I feel jittery inside.  It gets rid of that jittery feeling.

Antidepressants usually take a few weeks to start working, unfortunately.  There are a couple different types of antidepressants but the ones most often prescribed these days are SSRI., selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors.  Serotonin is a happy chemical around your brain.  It's believed that some people's brains for some reason suck up serotonin too fast.  SSRIs make your brain suck it up slower so there is more floating around your brain.

Some antidepressants, once you're on them, have to be discontinued gradually.  You can stop taking them all at once, you have to cut down a little at a time.  If you stop all at once, you can have withdrawal symptoms.

I understand that feeling of being tired of fighting.  It's horrible when you feel like you're trying and trying and nothing works.  You're doing everything you can do but you don't have control over some stuff and it's not working out like it should.  Of course you're tired.

Call your doc in the morning.  Do you have any friends or family nearby that can help you with the kids for at least a few days?

I am so sorry you are going through all this.  You have your hands full just with the small kids and then with your husband gone and all the changes from WLS, not to mention your other stressors no wonder you feel like you need a break.
I don't know anything about how the military works so I can't answer that but I am sure no one will take away your kids for getting help as long as they are well cared for.
That said, maybe you should talk to your doctor and see about an antidepressant before you see about hospitalization.  Also maybe the military offers some kind of counselling for spouse of military people.  See if there are support groups around.  Meeting others in your same situation may help east the burden a bit.  It must be rough being in a new place and I am sure your family is far away and you probably haven't made many friends yet.  All that will fall into place and I am sure you won't feel so all alone.
In the meantime do you have any family that can come and help you?  A mother or sister?  Or that you can go visit and get some help with the kids while you take care of yourself?  Or maybe even a family member who can take the kids for a little while to give you a break?  
I really hope things get better for you and soon.  I'll be praying for you.

We homeschool the kids, so I'm home with them all day. I don't think I would ever turn into an abusive parent, but I don't want to sit around doing nothing and find out. I want to be proactive and take care of this before it gets any worse.

It is hard living here because there's no housing available on base so we aren't involved with any of that. The house we're renting isn't in the best neighborhood and marijauna is legal here so I don't even talk to most of our neighbors. They sit outside and party most nights.

I just want to be able to provide my children with a place that feels like a home. I don't want to move again until the military tell us it's time to move. I don't have any friends out here and all of our family is back in Kansas. My husband is the only adult I talk to most of the time (I'm not complaining because he's my best friend), but he works all night long and sleeps until the afternoon. 

He's stressed out too because he joined the military to give us a better life and we're about to be homeless for the second time since we got here! It's just SO frustrating because there's absolutely nothing we can do. I don't know how to deal with this.  

I'm sorry that you are feeling so unhappy and overwhelmed.  I would second the suggestion to get in to see a doctor for some medication (not sure whether an anti-depressant or an anxiolytic would be mroe appropriate).

The military may handle things differently in their facilities, but generally you can't just check yourself in to someplace when you are feeling overwhelmed.  A hospital will only admit you for inpatient psychiatric care if you are feeling suicidal or homicidal and they feel as if you pose an immediate threat.  Non-hospital facilities that have inpatient mental health care usually require a referral from a counselor, psychiatrist, etc. indicating that your require care that cannot be accomplished on an outpatient basis (and, in many areas, these facilities frequently have waiting lists).

Please contact someone for counseling and medication so that you have some help working through this and will not feel so alone.

Lora

Should I call my PCP or my surgeon? Do I just ask for something over the phone or would they want me to come in for an appointment? I've never felt like this before so I'm not sure what to say or do.