You've lost too much weight....

on 10/14/11 4:06 am - NC
My mom called today and to be honest I just didn't want to talk to her...she always seems so negative lately.  My DH was home and when she asked where I was he told her I was exercising and he has explicit instructions to not bother me.  She then went on about how I've lost too much and don't need to lose anymore as I will look "drawn".  He told her that according to charts and my Dr I'm still considered "overweight" and even though he agreed that I don't need to lose more weight he was going to support me and wasn't my happiness important?.  He told her that other than having my kids this was the most important life challenge that I've faced and if I felt the need to get that last 5 pounds off he was all for it.  I just can't seem to figure out how to react when people tell me I've lost enough and should just be happy with that.  Don't get me wrong I am happy, happier than I've been in a while, but that last 5 pounds is important for me to feel I've accomplished my goal.  Logically it's not a big deal, but emotionally it's the Grand Canyon of achievements.  Any ideas on what to say when people think it's okay to get so damn personal?

LaToya S.
on 10/14/11 4:51 am - Edwardsville, IL
I read somewhere that if someone targets you and says that you have lost 'too much' you tell them- Thank you for your input but I am being seen by a medical provider who will tell when I loose too much.
If they can't stop making the comments tell them you could loose even more pounds by not associating with them any longer (ok- my  last one was kind of mean)

Hand in there and do what makes you feel good. You can explain to people that you have a goal to meet and they can either say positive things or nothing at all.

Good luck and congratualtions on your success so far!


Twitter: @ScrogginsFamily  

on 10/14/11 4:57 am - TN
You need to read Poet Kelly's thread!

It's incredibly aggravating, I'm sure...although I'm far from the point of being told I don't need to lose any more weight.

The "my doctor wants me to lose more weight" response SHOULD be sufficient--unless, of course, people think THEY know better than your own doctor. Where is the "mute" button when you need it?
on 10/14/11 5:19 am - WA
RNY on 01/18/12 with

My mother moved in with us a few years ago, and it has been a MAJOR adjustment - before that, she lived 2500 miles away.  Anyway, she gets in my business quite a bit, and I used to let it get to me, but now I just turn it around and fuss over her: "Mom, it sounds like you are really worried.  I wish you wouldn't let this bother you.  The doctor says I am fine, honest."  Conerned look on my face like she is a sweet little old lady (which she is) who worries too much.  Works like a charm - with my Mom, anyway.  She gets listened to and I get to be in control of my own life - everybody's happy. 

As far as people who have no business weighing in (sorry) about your weight, I would just smile and change the subject.  Even if they mean well, they are not entitled to an explanation.

on 10/14/11 5:19 am - Raleigh, NC
I actually got that comment alot in the first year. It is not technically that people don't think you should lose any more, it is the way we look the first year because of the rapid weightloss. It takes the second year for our bodies to catch up with the loss. We do look a bit gaunt and sic****il things level out. I have heard that exact thing from my mom last year and now weighing the same thing since 8 months post op, she says I finally look healthy. No change in the scale, just my bodies adjustments.
Hope this helps


on 10/14/11 5:30 am - AL
When people tell me I am getting too small and dont need to lose any more weight, I always just say "I'm not". In reality I want to lose 10 more pounds but unless I tell them I have lost it I dont think they will notice. So this satisfies them since they think they have convinced me of their way of thinking.
Teresa  HW 267.5, SW 250, CW 140      
Not the Same Dawn
on 10/14/11 5:33 am - BEE EFF EEE, CA
Beware when they start giving you backhanded comments as well like "I'm SSOOOO glad you've put on a few pounds!" This one floored me cuz I hadn't put on even an ounce..After you get down to goal, your weight will settle down and even though you are still the same weight, you look more rounded, settled..I do believe it happens to all of us..

It's a process and a you need to grow a thick skin where your mom is concerned or get harsh with her..She obviously isn't understanding the weight of your achievements..they're mental and not something that hangs on your hips or around your waist..

Keep after it..we're proud of you..
Yes, RNY worked for me but it also requires a lot of work from me!

Before Surgery: 214
Highest Weight: 240
Now: 125.6
Goal: 130
on 10/14/11 8:07 am - NC
Thanks so much everyone! Just the support I needed. I've been very open about my surgery from the start but I guess I need to keep things a bit close to the chest right now...which might be good since my "chest" has pretty much disappeared!

Love to you all!~