I know, I know. You all are tired of hearing me whine about stupid social drama. Sorry.

But I put on my big girl panties today, sucked it up, and rejoined Douchey McTrainer's crossfit bootcamp. There are two people who run it--DmT and ...we'll call him Sam. I like Sam. He's really nice and very sweet. He's patient and he doesn't seem judgey and rude when you have to modify something. In fact, he had us all outside at the end of class (AFTER circuits which whupped us) running sprints in the heat. And when I felt I was about to die, he encouraged our (slower) group to walk or slow-jog. Nice guy. 

Anyway, my cousin joined me for this session. I adore her. We're very close. But she grew up in a tiny little small town just north of mine, and every time we hang out, she always knows my friends, which cracks me up. So we were at the gym today and I introduced her to one of my coworkers, and she knew him! They went to school together. I laughed and said, "Man, you always seem to know everyone."

I went to go fill up my water bottle and Douchey McTrainer fell in step beside me.  Trying to be civil, I smiled and said hello. His response--"Does it bother you?" 

I was confused. "Does what bother me?"
"That she knows everyone."
"What? Why would that bother me?"
"Does it make you feel less popular?"
"Um. No,. It's funny. And sweet that we share a social circle."
"Sure. I bet it makes you feel really inferior. But don't worry. Even if nobody knows who you are, you'll always be popular with the kids."

(A dig at my job. I teach childrens' swim classes)

What the hell is wrong with this guy?!  In the beginning, I thought it was because I was fat. He's this tall, skinny beanpole guy, so I guess it could make sense for him to have a bias against fat people. He probably thought I was lazy and disgusting. Whatever.

But I've lost 65 damn pounds, I'm at the gym every day, I WORK there, and I've signed up for the ass-kicking bootcamp all over again. There is nothing left for him to judge, and yet he keeps finding new ways to try to chop me down at the knees. What. The. Hell. 

knee him in the balls! And say "Welp your right...just not YOUR kids"...

^LIKE!

Double LIKE!

Some trainers subscribe to the "pain is gain" mentality. This does not only apply to physical pain, but emotional pain as well. I have had several friends over the years who were physical trainers- some of them EXCELLENT at what they do- but unfortunately, many were douchebags of epic proportions!!! When I asked them why they do some of the things they do, they said it was because they find people will fight harder to reach a goal if they have passion, anger, or the desire to prove someone wrong. What he seems to be doing is trying to push you to what he feels is your best potential. He really does sound like Douchey McTrainer to me!! Keep up the good work- you are doing fantastic with out his BS, so don't let it get to you.

Wow - you may have hit the nail on the head here.

I HATE this mentality - it simply does not work with everyone, and can cause a lot of damage. My dad once told me that the best way to get my sister to do something was to tell her she couldn't do it, and he was right - she was that kind of person - loved a challenge and very competitive. However, I am the opposite - if you tell me I can't do something, I just believe you and give up. I thrive on encouragement, and shy away from competition. If a personal trainer made me angry, I would probably quit going to that gym, or maybe even give up on myself entirely (if it was harsh enough).

I'm the same way, I have to be encouraged, and have always been sensitive to negative DISinforcement. As a child if anyone criticized me for antything, I would quit it. I was often OFTEN criticized, and would give things up the instant I was criticized because I hated the criticism. I even gave up eaating when criticized for my food choices. (giving up eating was easy, but ultimately sanity won the day)

Now that I'm trying to get myself to exercise, I've been critical of myself... and wanted to quit because the ME inside tells me I'm awful at it (so what that I've had horrible inflamed glands in my face, it just makes me feel a failure)

That's probably why exercise has always been my nemesis. Too many people over the years telling me that I'll always be a failure. From my efforts to be a member of organized sports teams (We don't need any fatties) to efforts to lose weight (scornful looks) to efforts to run in PE in school (they videotaped it, and one look at the absurdity that was me running told me that I looked idiotic, why do it?) to a variety of other comments. It's hard for me to go into the "failure zone"... if I'm going to be a failure, I'd rather not even give it a shot. It's easier to avoid than to try with all those predictions of failure singing in a chorus in the background.

My stomach knots up at the thought of attempting something that I've so consistently been told I was useless at doing. Like I'm some fake or pretender.

I love reading  your forum posts because they are honest. Everyone has things that bothers them and they feel the need to rant about so I for one am not tired of reading your social dramas. Posting on here and asking others what they think is what makes this forum so great! I especially like the ones that provide a reality check.

Kudos to you for taking this boot camp class, first of all! It sounds very challenging.

From my perspective, you are very fair and clear minded and give people the benefit of the doubt in your interactions with them, whether they be family or acquaintances. Based on what you wrote in this post and in the wording of what Douchey McTrainer's words are, it seems to me that he may have been trying to make you feel bad about the situation by interpreting for you how you "should" have felt by your cousin's social connection with others. You said you are fine with your cousin's social circles and denied that it makes you feel unpopular, and he didn't listen and PROJECTED his feelings onto you as his reality of what he probably feels, or would feel if it were him.

He seems to have problems with low self esteem. It could be that he doesn't like you for no good reason whatsoever. I suspect that's what it is but I dont know everything. But it sounds like you handled it very well. As hard as it may be, sometimes it's best to end the conversation and walk away with a smile. If you had stood there and argued with him about how you don't feel inferior and how you don't appreciate the implication he made about your job working with kids, he would have succeeded in getting a rise out of you that he obviously wanted.

There are just some people in life who are haters and who don't like to see others who are happy with themselves so they need to project onto that person and deny that person's reality. Don't let this guy get to you or steal your joy. He isn't worth the effort!

sounds like he is a social dumb ass , the kind that says stupid stuff just to hear themselves talk

I think he likes you....




If he pulls your hair, it's official.

xoxoxoxo

 Ha! You know, in my vanity, I had actually considered that. That perhaps he thinks he's being funny. Perhaps he's... flirting? Omg. But then no, his attitude is far too patronizing and rude to be flirting. Even when people pick on people they like, it usually has SOME subtle playful undercurrent to it... and this just doesn't. 

I dunno. I just plan to ignore him entirely. Can't change him, so I might as well not let him get under my skin as much as possible. 

He probably has a little dick.  Just sayin'.

 

This was my first thought to the matter as well!  He could use a little more tact though and throw in something a little nicer too to get some positive attention rather than ******g you off!  Just a suggestion for him!  Sorry that he is so rude, not cool!

^ I think she's right...I think maybe he has a little crush on you!

 Sadly, some people are just douche bags. No rhyme or reason for their actions or words, they're simply DB's. Sounds like he's one of these people!

Yeah, this would be about when you report him for harassment. That was rude and inappropriate. You need to file a complaint.

Flirty and stupid are not mutually exclusive traits!!!

It's like third grade all over again!  Dunking your pig tails in the ink well!  HA

Just that fact that he's giving you attention tells all - he just doesn't know the proper type of attention to give a lady......silly ass.

He sounds delightful. I'm with Nik; report his butt.

My DH has an interesting way of handling people who say stupid things. After the person says something particularly dumb, he will wait a beat, turn, look puzzled, and say, "Oh, were you talking to me?  I wasn't listening to you." Most folks won't bother to repeat whatever drivel they just said.

I used to say something something similar to that when my friends were giving me a hard time...it was all in fun though.  I would say...Oh were you talking to me?  And when they would say, yes, I would say...Not like that you're not. hahah