I feel like a failure

mama_of_two
on 1/8/14 4:30 am - UT

I have state insurance while my husband is going to school because he is not working and this is the 2nd time I have been on the 6month supervised diet and not been able to loose the %10 percent body weight that is required to get WLS.  I am able to lose the 30lbs in a year, but I just haven't been able to do it in 6months.

I am 35 years old, my BMI is 47, so need to loose 30lbs. I am pregnant so I will have to try again after I have my baby. I do not eat junk food all day. I try to eat healthy, but I have PCOS.  Sometimes I do overeat. I have tried the liquid diet, but I get really sick and I cannot function and take care of my small children. I cannot get a job at Starbucks and use their insurance because my husband canno****ch our children nor can anyone else while I was working. 

I have tried low carb like the Belly Fat cure which I know I can loose weight on, but I feel like I am starving without enough carbs and I can't seem to stay on it. I feel so discouraged.

Has anyone else had this problem? 

Please help

Thank you,

~Desperate Mother

mama_of_two
on 1/8/14 5:20 am - UT

Not everyone can work and go to school and other things at the same time. He has anxiety and depression problems and it is hard enough on him to go to school more then full time. It's difficult to explain all the issues and complexities in relationships and families. I'm not here asking for judgment about my life or family. Things that worked for you don't work for everyone else.  

 

moonandstarzz
on 1/8/14 5:23 am, edited 1/8/14 5:23 am - Decatur, AL
Revision on 12/18/13

First off hun Im not judging or looking down on you. I have mental health issues,and I also have a husband that has social phobia, anxiety, scizophrenia and other issues. So I know what its like to live the life YOUR living so please dont take what I said in a negative what cause it wasnt meant that way. I just asked as to why he couldn****ch your kids and couldnt work. And as far as the issues and complexities in relationships and families I am married with 3 kids (ages 9, 6 and 1) I know issues lol.

 

*edited are u near SLC, my husband has family throught UT, we actually got married in St George.

 

 

  

        
moonandstarzz
on 1/8/14 5:27 am - Decatur, AL
Revision on 12/18/13

And by the way You are not a failure, you realize that you need help and your coming asking for it. and your trying to do what you need to get approved for surgery so you can be healthier for your self and be there for your children to see them growing up. SOrry your having to put it off because your pregnant but it will work out in Gods timing. (sorry dont know if your religous but Im LDS so I believe). if you want to talk to someone you can message me. But I really wasnt meaning any offense. I know its easier said than done but I always found if I thought negative then negative things would happen. SO dont think your a failure cause your not. Think posiive and postive things will happen.

 

 

  

        
MercyMercy
on 1/8/14 5:43 am - Sparks, NV

mama_of_two, I'm so glad you responded, and you must have been writing at the same time I was trying to post.  You basically made the same point I was trying to make.  How VERY judgmental the first two responses were.   We're all in different places in our lives and being kind will be rewarded more than "I did this, I believe that, and why don't you, If I can you can" attitudes.   Enough said.  I wish you and your family the best of luck.  Mary

KevinBacon
on 1/8/14 6:06 am
VSG on 03/10/14

I know it sucks but you are going to have to put all this in the back of your mind until after you have your baby and heal up from it. Hopefully by then you or your husband will have a job and insurance and you will have the proper guidance to get you where you want to go like a dietician who will help give you a reasonable plan. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy :)  

 

 

HW: 318 Date of Surgery: 3/10/14 SW: 270  CW: 154

  

MrsLitch
on 1/8/14 6:13 am - Morris, IL
RNY on 06/04/12

DeCarbing was seriously the hardest thing for me! So I understand why it's so hard and why you feel like you can't stay on it. But if you want this badly enough YOU CAN DO IT! I'm not going to lie to you it isn't easy! but the first few days was the hardest for me (laying in a fetal position in bed wanting to die, hard). After a week it got better but the head hunger whispers of "you want carbs" were still there and they were strong. fortunately for me I had the surgery and just getting in the protein was a full time job. You, however, have to do it all on your own without the aid of surgery for 6 months. I've done it before doing the atkins diet for a year and lost 80 pounds so I know it can be done albeit very hard.

I would suggest you seek counseling to work on the head part. It will help you in the long run anyway. Perhaps join WW or something where you have someone to account to.

You just have to do it if you want it. The surgery isn't a quick fix and you are still going to want to eat the foods that got you to your current weight, they operate on our gut not on our head, so with that being said you just have to keep at it, want it bad enough, and seek counseling to figure out why the head is winning.

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com

5' 3" - HW: 244 SW:234  GW:120 LW: 107 CW:110 Made goal 3/16/13!    

cajungirl
on 1/8/14 6:24 am

First off being pregnant this isn't the time to be trying to lose weight (I know you say you are waiting) so please don't get down on the no weight loss in 6 months stuff right now.  Focus on your new baby growing inside you.

Now as to losing 30 lbs......you have to decarb.  As long as you eat lots of simple carbs you'll want and crave more.  You aren't starving without enough simple carbs.  Complex carbs can give you the carbs you need for energy. 

I also had to lose weight prior to WLS (surgeon requirement).  I lost 21 days in 5 weeks eating a lean meat and green leafy veggie diet.  Yes I even ate meat and veggies for breakfast.  You don't have to do that eggs are a great source of protein and will work.  Steel cut oatmeal is high in fiber and also a good, complex carb for breakfast.

The first 2-3 days are the hardest to get through as you feel the withdrawal from carbs (including the infamous headache). 

You've got to want it bad enough to do it.  Write a list of why you need and want wls then focus on doing what is required to get it.  I'm going to tell you there is some after surgery emotional times that many go through so if the before getting there is too difficult the after will be overwhelming emotionally....get your head on straight and you can succeed at this.

Proximal RNY Lap - 02/21/05

 9 years committed ~  100% EWL and Maintaining

www.dazzlinglashesandbeyond.com

 

(deactivated member)
on 1/8/14 6:35 am

Very good advice.

Citizen Kim
on 1/8/14 7:39 am - Castle Rock, CO

Just to give a professional perspective, someone with a high BMI (I believe the OP is 47) could safely alter her diet to a healthy, calorie controlled one and safely NOT put any weight on during her pregnancy.  It should definitely be professionally supervised,(by a Registered Dietician) but she could actually find herself at a lower weight after her pregnancy than before she got pregnant.

Pregnancy is an excellent time to eat a sound nutritionally balanced diet with a light exercise program!

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

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