Shared news of upcoming surgery...

peg4life
on 4/20/14 5:14 am

I shared the news of my upcoming surgery with some friends....not prepared for the negative response from some.  :/

Most everyone was very supportive and excited for me!  However, I was not prepared for the responses of a couple people.  The comments ranged from the "are you sure you want to do something that dangerous" to the "best way to lose weight is to push back from the table and exercise".  

One person recounted every negative story she had heard about weight loss surgery. 

I tried to explain that the benefits far out-numbered the risks for me.  The better health and quality of life...and no insulin shots after MANY years....are the greatest factors in my decision.  

I'm honestly wishing I had kept my "news" to myself!  How do you address negative comments or horror stories related to weight loss surgeries?

 

Peg

poet_kelly
on 4/20/14 5:19 am - OH

I would just say, "I'm not asking for your advice, I'm just letting you know I will be having surgery.  I am getting my medical advice from my doctor" and "I don't want to hear any horror stories.  Let's talk about something else."

View more of my photos at ObesityHelp.com          Kelly

Please note: I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  If you want medical advice, talk to your doctor.  Whatever I post, there is probably some surgeon or other health care provider somewhere that disagrees with me.  If you want to know what your surgeon thinks, then ask him or her.    Check out my blog.

 

peg4life
on 4/20/14 9:15 pm

Thanks!

Cunning_Pam
on 4/20/14 5:46 am
RNY on 12/18/13

It always surprises me to hear people talk about the negativity they get when they tell people about their WLS plans. I was very open about my surgery to most people, and received nothing but support and good wishes, so I guess I just don't get it.

I think you need to come to a place where you can accept that people are thinking that they are being supportive, in their own way. They haven't done the research you have and don't really understand WLS, so in their own minds they're trying to help you by warning you off something they think can hurt you. You can try to educate them, or you can simply say "I've looked into this thoroughly, and my doctors and I are convinced that it is the best thing for me to do. If you can't support me, then please let's just agree not to talk about it." And stick to your guns on that, don't talk with them about it. Rely on those who ARE supportive and excited for you, and don't let the negative nellies affect your positive attitude.

Good luck!

Surgery: RNY on 12/18/2013 with Jay M. Snow, MD            "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness." - Robert Herjavec, quoting Al Capone

      

peg4life
on 4/20/14 9:17 pm

Thanks! :)

Peg

(deactivated member)
on 4/20/14 7:49 am
RNY on 04/10/14

I know how you feel.  When I told my boss at work she immediately told me about a man who used to work with her that died of the complications.  She then proceeded to tell pretty much everybody in the building.  The week before surgery I got comments of "I knew a girl who got that done and never lost any weight.  It was a big waste of money." And "you aren't big enough for that.!  Why would you do that?"  I just smiled and said, "my doctor and I feel this is the right choice for me."  I'm going back to work tomorrow so I can only imagine the comments I'll hear.  We have to just let that stuff roll off us and keep doing what we know is best for us!

peg4life
on 4/20/14 9:23 pm

Thanks! Good luck as you go back to work! We can do this!

Bsheldon
on 4/20/14 11:11 am

I had my surgery on April 10 and still have not told my dad, step-mom, step-sister, or anyone on my mom's side of the family including sister, etc. I just don't want to hear what they have to say right now. My dad was completely against it when I had mentioned it in the past years. Everyone will know eventually... however, lucky for me none of them live near me anymore and I might see them once a year... boy aren't they in for a surprise! :)

Surgery Date: 4/10/14 HW-279 SW-270 CW-144 GW-140

peg4life
on 4/20/14 9:26 pm

I've been very open and I must say that my family has been very supportive. Good luck on your journey to a healthier you!

Ehbeagle
on 4/20/14 11:47 am - Virginia beach, VA

I decided early on that I would not hide my decision.  I have had many supporters.  Surprisingly my only nay-Sayers were family, but now they have become supporters.  I know how hard it is to have your loved ones say negative things about something so important and at a time when you need them. All I can say us lean on your supporters.  Good luck.

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