I was approved after soooooooo many attempts at getting RNY and 3 days later I tested positive on the dipstick. I know there are some out there struggling to become pregnant and some even having this surgery in an attempt to be healthy enough to get pregnant. I get that. And I want another child... but not now. I have had an IUD for 4 years, and 1 week before I am supposed to walk into the operating room, it quits on me?!? I wanted this for me. Something that was just for me. That would get me to where I want to be, FOR ME... I hate myself for not immediately jumping up and down for joy at this news, but I am so angry and sad. I was THIS CLOSE and now, at best, I will have to start the process all over again in a year or two after I have the baby and stop breastfeeding. this process has been murder, and I already ride the line so much. it just doesn't feel fair.

Like I said, I know there are people who are going to want to say, "be grateful" or some equally minimizing comment - so for those, please don't post. Trust me, I am beating myself up for this more than any of you could. Right now, I am just really sad that I have to give up after all this time and effort...

I am one of those people who truly believe when it is meant to be it will happen. I know that this was a long, long road but there has to be some reason this happened to you now of all times. I am 40. It took me 4 attempts until I finally made it to the operating room for RNY on Friday. Looking back I realize that maybe it just wasn't the time for me when I tried before. Things just kept getting in the way. It all will happen in the perfect time. You are truly blessed. Now that you are pregnant, just concentrate on eating healthy and walking. Just because this happened to you now does not mean there won't be a surgery in your future. Best wishes.

Oh I am so sorry.  So very very sorry.  It is okay to be angry and disappointed and not thrilled about being pregnant.  My littlest came at a time when I wasn't ready.  I had to really mourn that before I could delight in a  new baby.  I imagine that there are those who will FLIP OUT about this, but terminating a pregnancy is an option.  I am not suggesting you do this of course.  do what is best for you.  I am just letting you know that if that has crossed your mind you are okay, you are not alone.  I wish you well.

You have every right to feel let down. As parents we rarely think about ourselves but about taking care of others. When you decided to take care of yourself it was a chance for you to feel better about yourself. Mourn the lass of the surgery and try to move on. Take this time to make some changes in your life in preparation for the surgery. If in two years you still want it you will be even more ready.

I understand your feelings--I really do.  My DH had a heart attack a few days before my surgery was planned and I had to wait a while--not as long as you will have to wait.  At the time, I questioned why and maybe the surgery is not to be, but I went ahead with the surgery later.  All went well and I lost 135 lbs and have maintained 120 for nine years.  Try to be patient.  I will pray that you have a healthy baby and that weight loss will be in your near future.         

My heart really goes out to you. My fiance and I were talking about your post last night and I cannot imagine the kind of emotions you are going through right now. Like the others who have posted before me, I think that perhaps everything happens for a reason and it will all be better in the end. 6yr ago I was approved for surgery and right I told my family, there was a huge family crisis that lasted for a few years. I had to cancel my surgery and I was devastated. I had worked so hard and was finally doing something for me and I felt that it was taken away from me. 

Years later I tried again and it was MUCH easier than the first time, I had better insurance, more knowledge on which surgery (I chose lapband in the past and now RNY) I am so happy that I didn't get the lap band years ago, it wouldn't have worked for me. Now I am at a much better place in my life to embrace change and to work my butt off to lose weight. 

I am sure whatever you choose will be the right decision for you. Perhaps in a year or 2 you will have more motivation than ever to lose the weight with a little baby running around. You can do this and do fantastic at it. If you choose to have this baby, use this time to put healthy habits in play in your life so that when YOU ARE APPROVED for the surgery again, you will rock it. 

Again, I am truly sorry about this happening but I promise, it will all work out for the best! 

Thank you all so much for your kind words.

" know there are people who are going to want to say, "be grateful" or some equally minimizing comment"

I totally hear you. I think that this unplanned pregnancy really puts a monkey wrench into everything.  I understand your frustration, and then having to do it all over again after the baby is born.

:(