I need help... don't even know where to turn

I had my surgery April 2nd 2013, and to most I am considered a success story from 400 to 235 (they can't see the mess I can under my shirt lol)anyways if has become clear to me I haven't tackled the reasoning behind my eating. Because I am at a point where I feel I no longer have the crutch of my stomach stopping me mid bite from cheating.... after moving back home may 2014 I have gained roughly 50 pounds (was at 180) and I've started idiotic things like eating breads, rice and bull**** and the worst fast food, which I had kicked for nearly a year.... and when I am not hungry I think very logically  and try to plan out healthy ways to survive... but I'd what to even do with myself... I'm pretty much about to just start over on clear liquids and cycle back through my guide

Get to a counselor.  Preferably one that will help you set goals, stay accountable, and knows about WLS.  Most of us need one, myself included!

Does your surgeon have a program, a nutritionist that you can meet with? Is there a local support group you can go to?

First, hold the line where you are, and don't gain any more. Then you can start chipping away at the regain.

I'm not sure what will work for you, but I can tell what works for me. I log everything I eat on MyFitnessPal. I weigh all my food, and record every bit. When I can see how much I'm eating, I can stop myself toward the end of the day when I've reached my calorie limit. If I start to creep up, I can look back over my log, and see what I need to cut back on. It is ALWAYS simple carbs, processed food.

Good luck. Check back in here often. It will keep your head in the game, and keep you going in the right direction.

In regards to my doctors program, insurance kind of stopped covering it at 1 year

You still can go to support groups. They theyare free. I think coming here for help is a good thing. Clean the crap out of the house. Get rid of the crappy carbs.

Protein first. There are so many vets here that can help. I am about 15 months out and they are here to help you. You may not always like the answer but they do not want anyone to fail. 

Take care

What Grim said....weigh and measure your food. Log your intake whatever way works for you. I use my fitness pal also. It makes me accountable for everything l eat and l can keep track of my calories and protein. 

I play lots of tricks with myself to keep myself on track, what I don't do is record my food or track every bite or keep logs and spreadsheets and apps to track what I eat.  I have my brain for all of that, and I don't live in denial anymore.  You have to believe in yourself that you aren't going to sabotage this, which right now you are, so you are the enemy.  Why did you have wls?  What was your original motivation?  Did you achieve those goals?  Why are you bored with it all now?  Is it because maintenance is boring?  Because it is.  But if you don't maintain most people just regain.  We have programming for losing or gaining, maintaining seems almost not logical to formerly MO people.  So first off you need to find your motivation.  No one can do that for you.  Once you find it and you pick the number you want to achieve you have to DIET and exercise your way back to it.  Now doesn't that sound like fun?  Nope its not.  So once you get back where you wanna be don't **** up again.  It sucks to lose the same weight over and over.  This is a lifetime of eating well to keep yourself healthy, wls, helps get you somewhere, where you go from there is you.  You need to do this for yourself, for your pride, for your feeling of accomplishment, for your future.  You are a young, good looking guy, if you body sucks, work out, get plastics, do what you need to feel good about yourself.  Everything is within your reach you just have to make it happen.  And no pity parties.  They aren't allowed.  Good Luck.

Hi Larry - I am 8 months behind you but can relate.  I am also a "success" so far - from 351 to 160.  But I do find it's easier to let things creep in and I am working on tackling this myself.  I personally would not recommend clear liquids - you DEFINITELY won't be full from those.  I feel like my stomach is definitely larger than it was, and if I eat popcorn or crackers or other "slider" foods, I could probably eat pretty massive quantities.  But when I eat on plan, and eat DENSE protein (meat, cheese, hard-boiled eggs, tuna fish, shrimp, etc.) I definitely feel the restriction.  I have found that I have to keep carbs down because when I eat carbs, I want to eat more carbs!  I am currently eating 1,400 calories per day and under 70 g of carbs and logging every bite in MyFitnessPal like Grim does.  Today's menu is chicken salad for two meals, turkey and cheese and bacon for one meal, and snacks are goat cheese stuffed peppers, two hard-boiled eggs, and a frozen greek yogurt bar treat.  That's the only way for me to feel "full".

I do recommend you (and I, and everyone!) work on the reasons behind our volume eating, but in the meantime, like Grim says, stop the regain and work on losing it pound by pound.  Make some delicious foods that will fill you up - turkey meatloaf, chicken salad, shrimp...whatever your favorite proteins are.

Are you exercising?  I go to the gym 6 or 7 days a week, and I am not ashamed to say, I work out so I can eat.  If my calories go a little higher one day but I have done an hour of cardio or strength training, that's ok with me.

Because the one other thing that works for me (so far) is thinking about how fit and strong I feel.  I never want to go back to having aching knees and sweating after walking a few blocks.  Think of all you have accomplished and trust me, people do lose their regain.  Dense protein is my advice :)

You've taken the first step by acknowledging to yourself what's going on.  Many people (myself included) have ignored it and regained (myself included again).  

Just as Grim wrote, stop the regain now.  You've gained 50 pounds, not 75 or more.  You are a success going from 400.  Clean out your kitchen, house, car, office, etc. of any foods that are a problem for you. Stock up on lean proteins, vegetables, some fruit and leave the simple carbs at the store.  The more you eat simple carbs, the more you want.  It is a vicious cycle with carbs.  

Are you grazing?  Don't graze.  If you need a mid-morning, mid-afternoon snack, plan it into the food you're eating for the entire day.  

When I was working on losing my weight regain, I logged my food and activity.  Especially my food.  If I didn't want to see it, then I didn't eat it.  Use your food journal to provide accountability to yourself.

I was a former fast food, snacky food lover.  Fast food = junk food = junk.  There is very little nutrition in junk food and lots (and lots) of calories, carbs, fat.  Think on how you want to spend your food.  Get the max nutrition for your "calorie" buck.  

I've regained twice.  Thankfully, I've also lost it twice.  I really learned the second time.  It is very difficult to lose regained weight.  It comes off much slower than it did originally.  I was frustrated and impatient but it came off.  The thing is though that you can lose your regain.  

You don't need to do clear liquids.  Go back to your healthy habits that you had when you lost from 400 to only 235.  Go back to the basics and you'll lose.  

Hang out on OH.  Post and reply to other members.  It helps me to stay on track.  

You've got this!  

I found it the most difficult to change my eating habits around my family.  It sounds like your issues started when you moved back home.  This can be the toughest because the patterns of eating with your family are ingrained so deeply you are not likely to see them.  I found it super difficult to see my sister's face when she would realize I wasn't going to pop and eat a full bowl of popcorn with her (each of us having our own gigantic bowl) every night, or eat chips or heaping helpings of mashed potatoes, and on and on and on.  I felt kind of like I was betraying them at first.  I just had to stick to what I knew was going to be right for me in the long run.  It's gotten a whole lot better.  Once I established the new pattern and never made her feel guilty or like I was coveting her treats, we just sat down and watched TV.  I would eat two SF popsicles and she could eat whatever she wanted.  My mom was a whole different story.  She still has trouble with it but I let her have her issues.  I stick to my plan.  I know you can get yourself back on track!! As everyone above has said, go back to the basics, log your food, stay away from slider foods, stick to dense proteins, keep your carbs low, etc.  You know the path you just have to want to be there again more than anything else.  You can do it!!!