New to OH

Rae293
on 8/27/15 12:28 pm

Hello.

I am new to forums, so be patient.  I started my process for the RNY surgery a little over 1 year ago. I have had meetings with the Doc, Dietician, Psych, Exercise Physiologist and attended several support groups in this past year.  I dropped 30 pounds in this past year and have been able to keep it off.  Last week I made the decision to move ahead w/the surgery and am excited at the prospect of being thinner. Right now I am waiting to hear from the hospital regarding a surgery date for this fall. 

The reason for my post is to seek help from others that have been down this path. Right now I am feeling mixed emotions -- hopeful, fearful, anxious and doubt.  I am not afraid of the surgery itself, but of the outcome months and years down the road.  My weight is concentrated in my hips, thighs and knees.  In otherwords Pear shaped.  My mind is in the land of "what if..."  Part of my fear is that these areas will not go down in weight or shape like the rest of my body.  I dont expect to look like a model by any means, but I am hoping for a little balance.  Did any of you feel like this?  How did you get past these feelings and thoughts?

I am also nervous about going out to restaurants or events with family, friends and coworkers (BTW these people do not know about the surgery.) post-op and trying to explain why I am not eating like they do.  How do you handle something like this? 

Yes, I know these are small issues and I should be focused on the good that will come from the surgery. But that's just some thoughts that are running through my head.

Thanks for listening.  Blessings. 

joansch
on 8/27/15 1:01 pm

Welcome! This is a great place to find help and support for your journey. All of your questions and concerns have been felt or experienced by others, so first step is to know that you're not alone.

Your fears are normal. Your body will take what shape it wants to. You can help it along with exercise (yes, you will feel more like exercising as you lose weight) but there's only so much you can do. For some wierd reason, my calves are not decreasing at the rate the rest of my body is. Occasionally it bothers me when I look at what I think are ENORMOUS calves on not-so-big legs. But most of the time I'm thankful and happy to be at a reasonable weight and feeling so much better than I did. Large(r) calves (and saggy skin) are a small price to pay.

I was very worried about going out to eat. My husband and I are out A LOT, and social eating was a big part of my life. But I adjusted and so will you. Believe me...most people are so self-obsessed about what they are eating that they'll hardly notice you. My biggest issue was getting over ordering appetizers instead of a whole dinner, and always having to ask for a doggy bag to take food home. Once I realized that the servers truly don't care what I order, it became easier. By the time you're able to go out and eat, you'll have worked through a lot of your food worries. Chicken wings have become my best friend! Many restaurants have them, and if they're not fried that's what I usually get. I order them "naked" (no sauce) and usually eat 1/2 an order; then I have lunch the next day. Remember -- you don't owe anyone an explanation for what you eat or don't eat. Do your friends and co-workers question and remark on what you eat now? Probably not, and they won't do it later, either. If you don't want to explain surgery to people, and someone asks why you aren't ordering the extra-large burger and fries, just shrug and say, I'm not very hungry." But chances are they won't even notice.

Take care of yourself -- be good to yourself, and some back with all your questions, worries, fears, success and joy. This is the place!

Hugs --

Joan

Joan, Annapolis, MD

5'3"    SW: 248   Surgery date: 28 Aug 2014

     

AnneL
on 8/27/15 1:47 pm

Thanks for your thoughts. Tomorrow night is the first, since surgery, we are going to a friend's home for dinner. The food is abundant there and wonderful. In the past my worry would be my desire for large portions and seconds and what people would think about that with my high weight. They do not know of the surgery, my clothes are a little swimmy and I am now concerned folks will notice how little I will eat. In my culture, that means encouragement to have more to eat, regardless of weight. Your comments are really helpful. 

Rae293
on 8/31/15 12:32 pm

Thanks Joan.

 

Actually, I do have a coupe of coworkers who are thin that make comments about how much someone has eaten.  They are constantly talking about how much sugar or calories are in foods or how much you have to workout after you have eaten one M&M.  Some days I want to say "I don't care and I don't want to hear about it every time you eat something."   One of these coworkers was so upset about gaining 1 pound (yes, that's right one pound) over the weekend that she stood and walked in place until the meeting started. OMG, I hope I don't get like that.  

 

Thanks again.

 

Ariann555
on 8/27/15 6:58 am, edited 8/27/15 6:59 am
RNY on 06/12/15

I went through the what if part too, its normal. We all lose weight differently, I believe I am melting like a candle. LOL. Started at my face and slowing moving downwards.

To be honest I do not like going out to restaurants anymore( I Loved going to restaurants pre-op), you cant drink and eat at the same time, and you cannot eat alot. I do get a little upset when I am enjoying my food and after 4 bites or so i am full. But that is also part of the life style change. On the upside you will have lunch and probably dinner from that meal from the restaurant. Family parties with all kinds of food, deserts, and snacks does not bother me. You will be surprised, that you can say no to everything and not even think about it.

Now I was very open about my surgery, so I did not have the problem with people reactions. They are surprised how fast you fill up and you will hear thats it, thats all your gonna eat. My advise is that you either tell your friends and family or let people know you are eating healthy and are cutting your portions down. I usually bring my own snacks/food with me too.

These thoughts are all normal, there is always a little struggle with change but this will be SO WORTH IT!!!!!

Good luck to you! =)

 

 

    

    

loristefans
on 8/27/15 7:07 pm

i am new too. my surgery is scheduled for the day after Labor Day, and I am in my two week liquid diet phase and really looking forward to my new adventure. thanks for asking these questions... I have many of the same.

Lori in Wisconsin

Rae293
on 8/31/15 12:33 pm

I pray that all goes well. Blessings

froglady
on 8/28/15 5:10 am - IA

I am new to all of this also. So, thank you for your questions. I am struggling with the same questions. Everyone knows I am trying to loose weight, I had to let my boss know that I am having surgery on the 16th of Sept. I told her that I am having my gallbladder out, which is true, but I didn't tell them about my bypass surgery.  I start my liquid diet Wednesday. I doublt anyone will actually notice but am worried about what to tell them if they do. My husband is on board with my surgery, but he has stated that he thinks I can continue to loose weight without it. No one really understands my internal struggles. I am excited and I know this is the best choice for me.

Good luck,

 

Rae293
on 8/31/15 12:38 pm

I just received my surgery date, it's 10/5/15.  Yay!! Oh, I have to have my gall bladder removed, too.  I have been trying to figure out what to say to my boss about needing 2 weeks off.  I really don't want to tell them the whole story.  So, perhaps I will use the gall bladder, too. :D

Wishing you the best in your surgery.

Blessings!

Most Active
What's on your Monday Menu?
Queen JB · 49 replies · 486 views
What's on your Wednesday Menu?
Queen JB · 49 replies · 446 views
What's on your Tuesday Menu?
Queen JB · 46 replies · 454 views
What's on your Thursday Menu?
Queen JB · 44 replies · 396 views
What?s on your Sunday menu?
Melody P. · 2 replies · 111 views
Forum Search Error & 404
RNY2007 · 2 replies · 74 views
Recent Topics
What's on your Thursday Menu?
Queen JB · 44 replies · 396 views
What's on your Wednesday Menu?
Queen JB · 49 replies · 446 views
Forum Search Error & 404
RNY2007 · 2 replies · 74 views
What's on your Tuesday Menu?
Queen JB · 46 replies · 454 views
What's on your Monday Menu?
Queen JB · 49 replies · 486 views
×