Stomachache/the addictive voice is so strong

I was so dumb this morning. I ordered a caramel macchiato from Starbucks and within three sips I knew it was a bad idea. That caramel sauce + me = stomachache and gas. Hope this passes soon.

The addictive voice in my head is going strong one month out from surgery. All day long I hear it saying and plotting to get food: "If you go here after work while Dad is out of town, you can try this food and no one will ever need to know." "I don't seem to dump so far so maybe I could try this food."

It's scary. Post WLS I realize just how strong that voice is. Before surgery I usually gave into it. Now that it's not safe to give in, I have to hear it all day long and it sucks.  Good think I'm seeing my therapist next week and my surgical therapist on the 18th. My parents are supportive but I feel embarrassed talking about it, like I'm a junkie.

Thanks for listening.

This sucks but explains why we had to have surgery to lose weight. Unfortunately the surgery isn't on our brains. Good luck to you as you continue to work through it, I know it will be a battle for me as well. 

To me we are junkies and it is harder because you HAVE to put food in your mouth to live, you don't have to shoot up heroine. I'm glad you are getting help- It is hard- It does seem to be easier for me than it was a month or so out.

My DH and mom ate chickfila in the car in front of me less than 1 week out - that was difficult to deal with.

I've been able to make dessert for events, food for dH and it doesn't bother me near as bad as it did. My answer is that I just cant eat that stuff...

I know I was exactly the same way. I was like a junkie and all I thought about was what I could eat next. It took working with a therapist to help me realize where it all came from and to reorder my thinking about food to help make it easier for me to make smart conscious choices. I also had to find new ways to deal with stress and emotions. I am still a work in progress and it takes conscious effort to make good choices every day. I made it to and below goal though,and you can too. Just take the time to do the mental work you need to give you a new lifestyle. You are worth it!

I know exactly what you are going through.  I've struggled with this a lot.  The good thing is that you are being honest with yourself and open here about your addiction.  DO NOT hide it.  I have been a hider of food my whole life, and I've just now come to terms with is since surgery.

Hiding and lying about food are big things for me and it's what I'm trying to fix.  

I will be the first to admit it, I am a food junkie.  It's really the same thing as being a drug addict, but the outcomes are a little different.  While being addicted to heroin can kill you immediately, addiction to food takes time to kill you off.  

Be strong, be honest and know that you are not alone in how you feel.  

You speak the truth.

Are you seeing a therapist for it?  I see one and it really helps me talk everything through.  I have not tested things to see if I dump - I SCARED TO DEATH that I won't dump.  I WANT to be a dumper so it makes it easier to stay on plan.  For now I just assume I will so I'm not even tempted.

Yes, I see a therapist, who's great but she doesn't deal primarily with food issues. My surgical program has its own therapist who I'm going to see on 5/18. Maybe I'll start seeing her regularly for now.

It might be good, I know I struggle with food choices and making sure I stop at the amount I am supposed to eat.  I keep hoping I will just get used to it.  I honestly haven't really been tempted by sweets yet, but I am soooo tempted by chips and I really really want some snack mix, lol.

I'm finding that most of my food issues are actually directly related to my stress issues which are directly related to my control issues. ... and all of it is related to my poor coping skills.

For myself, I had to take a hard look at my whole life including why I was continuing in a job that I despised with people who did not respect me. So, with the support of my husband, we reworked the budget and I retired 10 years early. I started painting in earnest and go out and spend time with other artists as many days a week as I can manage. I had to figure out what was really important to me and I found out it wasn't money.

Now, early retirement may be exactly the wrong thing for other people; so don't just jump into this pond because I did it... but we eat in order to feel better momentarily about something that is making us feel bad... and sometimes we are doing that badness to ourselves by doing something that is not in our best interest.

What stresses you out the most? What keeps you awake at night? What is going on just before you get the food craving? What is about to happen that you are dreading when you get the food craving?