Instant Regret
Hello,
I am new to this forum. So I'll include my story. I have struggled with weight my entire life. Even with a very active childhood with much more fit teens I would lose 10-20 pounds and gain them back. I was refused many times as soon as I mentioned bariatric surgery to many doctors. I am 25 yo Male 5'8 288lbs. I guess they felt it wasn't necessary. I recently got the opportunity to have the procedure done and my surgeon recommended RNY and claimed many sleeve patients return after a couple years for a revision to RNY and I don't want to go under the knife twice. It made total sense at the time, especially because in the support group there were people who have had revisions to RNY so that solidified the decision to me because I also have a fear of surgery and would not do this unless I thought I needed it. I had my surgery on Tuesday and I felt instant regret the second day in the hospital. I feel like I did something horrible to my body that was irreversible. I instantly started feeling like being obese may not be so bad. I have been talking to a close family member about it and she tells me it's not as bad as I think but I am scared as hell that I made the wrong decision. I feel maybe if I did the sleeve I would have made less of a drastic change in my body and it would be okay if I had some regain because I only wanted to lose 80-90 pounds. I feel 190-200 would have been an acceptable weight. I have even been looking at possible revision to the sleeve but I feel that's a bit too much and would involve another surgery which I hate. Does anyone have any advice for me to help me get through this? I have felt horrible since I realized it was all over.
Buyers remorse is real. At 25, your body was likely coping with your excess weight, but every year (and likely extra pounds) would have taken its toll as you got older - on your organs, your joints, your endocrine system etc.
Give it 4-6 weeks, when you are feeling better and have lost a ton of weight (because it falls off men so easily) and I'm betting you'll feel different.
Stick around, join the menu posts, take some before pix (if you haven't already). You'll be posting your progress and after pix in no time.
Just think, when you're as far out as I am, you'll be 38!!!!!
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
Thanks. I also felt like my body was coping with my weight because I was young which is one of the reasons I did it because I didn't have many issues except borderline HBP and sleep apnea but who knows how long I would have gotten away with that. It happened so fast for me i just don't know if I really needed it as much as I thought I did.
Please don't feel regret over the surgery you chose! There are many many of us here on the RNY board who are THRILLED with our surgery - we have used the tool as its meant to be used, stayed low carb and high protein during the losing phase, and reached goal and now (struggle to) maintain that weight. I have heard other people say the RNY is "drastic" compared to the sleeve, but I guess I have never understood that. Yes, you had a surgery which made your stomach into a small pouch and rerouted your intestines. But is that really much less drastic than having 80% of your stomach lopped off and pulled out a hole in your abdomen? With RNY you will have to stay on vitamins and get yearly blood drawn to make sure you are getting your vitamins, and you can't take Aleve or Advil since they are NSAIDS. However, your life will be considerably better once you lose 100 lbs and you have the energy and mobility of a normal sized person. You can find post after post of people (with any weight loss surgery) who now find joy in running up and down stairs, parking far from the store, fitting a normal towel around their body, shopping for clothes in any store, fitting in an airplane seat with room to spare, getting off of diabetes medication, and on and on and on. So while it's normal to be like "WTF" when you just had surgery, are tired, and can hardly believe that you get full on 2 oz of liquid, trust me, it gets better! Keep coming to the forum, use the search feature, read 100 pages of posts. Read the daily menu thread to see what people are eating. STAY HYDRATED. Yes, protein shakes get old really quick in the few weeks after surgery but trust me, I am 3 years 8 months out and well past the point where 2 oz of solid dense protein fills me up. You do not need a revision to a sleeve. You can come to this forum for support anytime!
Also, in case its helpful to read old posts I made along the way, here they are. I know when I was a newbie I was convinced I was the only one this wouldn't work for and I came to this site all. the. time. GOOD LUCK!
100 lbs: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5250347/Century-Club-i n-4-months-and-4-days-my-story/200 lbs: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5275149/Down-201-lbs-b efore-and-after-pic/ Goal: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5278769/I-made-goal-An d-now-the-hard-part-begins/
Plastics: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/plasticsurgery/5309071/X-p ost-Everything-I-wished-I-had-known-and-everything-I/
Two year surgiversary: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/5445401/My-two-year-su rgiversary-with-a-before-and-after-picture/
Three year surgiversary: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/rny/6014459/Three-year-sur giversary-before-and-after-pics-included/#50165149
Thank You for your helpful words. I know speaking about trying to do some sort of revision to a larger or more "normal" stomach is just me speaking out of panic but I feel like have made a drastic change to my body and I shouldn't have. Hopefully, you are right and I feel better about this in the future.
Give yourself more then an "instant ".
Things will get better daily and pretty soon as the pounds begin to drop, you will find yourself in a better place.
Attitude is everything and feeling regret is something that can be experienced by some. Give yourself a few weeks, then embrace this wonderful chance to lose weight and get healthy.
Good luck and determine to be a success.
I just had my RNY done on August 7th. I to am feeling exactly like you.. between the pain, the uncertainty if this will even work, the head games I play on myself... it all just makes me wish I would not have done this. Today I woke up and my lower gut hurts (which i think is just gas because I'm trying to drink a protein shake) I have a feeling protein shakes and me wouldn't work so well unless I use cashew milk. I was already lactose intolerant so add 1% milk and I think I just made that part a little worse. I hear your fears, and have to say I completely understand it.
I keep looking at all the food I used to be able to enjoy, and keep thinking to myself, I could of just ate smaller portions, I could of just tried harder. But the truth is, I did try harder, I ate smaller portions, and loosing still was not working for me. I keep reminding myself, like with any major surgery.. you really don't start seeing the upside till the pain goes away and you start getting into a rhythm.
I know this from previous major surgeries, like my gallbladder removal, appendix, Full hysto due to cancer. Every single surgery left me feeling the "what if". Right now, the full story of our actions has played out, of course we want to know the ending but we don't and that scares the heck out of us. Some people want to feel in control of their lives and when that doesn't happen, we freak out.
And while I completely understand, relate and am still going through the very phase your mentioning, I suggest you take a step back and try to calm yourself down a bit. Anxiety is a horrible beast that given enough momentum just keeps gaining speed. Talk to your nutritionist, talk to your doctor... talk to anyone here who has gone before you and has already went through this path and understands the fears. Your not alone, and I'm sure a lot of the older vets here will be more than happy to help talk you through your fears.
You will be ok. This is a big change, but you can do it. One small step at a time, one foot in front of the other!!
