I am finding myself extra irritable, frustrated and sad. I am mourning the loss of food tremendously. I already deal with depression and bad anxiety. I didn't think grieving food and subsequent anxiety would hit me so fast. I se my therapist on Tuesday so I will talk about it with him and I think I'll also make an appt with WLS therapist too. I have my 5 year old today by myself all day and I am so exhausted, anxious and pissed off. I don't regret what I have done and knew this was something I would deal with. I just need some support from people who know what it's like.
I think you had your surgery very recently right? Twice in the first two weeks, my husband found me sobbing on the floor of my office. Once because I just "couldn't drink another protein shake" and another time because he was cooking sausage the head hunger was fierce.
The really bad up/down emotions got better after a few weeks, especially when I could start to move on from shakes to some different (less sweet foods). I think speaking to your therapist is a great plan, but also know it will likely pass!
Your sausage story reminded me of a similar one. During opti, I decided to prep some food for a camping trip we were going on, and was cooking taco meat. Mistake. The smell absolutely overwhelmed me. I got so hungry, I just had to shut off the stove, grab my serving of sugar free jello and hide in the bedroom until it passed. That was probably the hardest day on this whole journey for me!
RNY Sept 8, 2016
M1:23, M2 :18, M3 :11, M4 :19, M5: 13, M6: 12, M7: 17, M8: 11, M9: 11.5, M10: 13, M11: 10, M12: 10 M13 : 7.6, M14: 6.9
I remember thinking that I was going to feel starved forever and never would I get to indulge again and also that I didn't love sausage that much so why was I craving it so bad?
What you are feeling is totally normal. I couldn't even stand myself and I was lucky my husband loved me. I also suffer from depression and anxiety but find exercise helps. Walk as much as you can. To the next poster: one day closer to being healthy.
Thank you so much everyone. I really needed to hear what you all had to say.
It's really good that you're able to see that the situation has a cause, so that you can start to get traction on moving away from the mourning and anxiety about food. It must be overwhelming to be alone with a young child when you're feeling at the end of your emotional rope. Don't hesitate to involve friends or family or even a neighbor for a play date to get some time for yourself, or to help expend some of your child's energy so that you can wind down later. Good luck during this stage of things- it'll be behind you soon!
Estrogen is stored in fat cells. As we lose weight, the Estrogen is released into your system and can really mess up your day. This hormone dump is normal with rapid weight loss. It will even out. I know it makes it worse when you are already having depression and anxiety issues and then you have this giant hormone dump. Hang in there! Ive been there and really know what you are going through. You are doing all the right things. It will get better.
Hugs to you!
Original surgery VSG Feb. 2009
Revised to RNY Feb. 2016.
Start weight: 252. Current weight: 120