New to the process

Hello everyone!!!

I have tried all kinds of ways of losing weight and have recently started the process of gastric bypass. I have my initial appointment in November and will start my supervised diet. My question right now is how did everyone cope with unsupportive family and friends. I have family and friends who are trying to talk me out of this and have shamed me into this choice. Any advice and support is welcome!!!

Number one thing to make clear to everyone (including yourself if necessary) is that this is about your health. Obesity is deadly. Insurance companies aren't shelling out tens of thousands of dollars per patient so they can look better at the beach. You have a disease. You're getting treated. That's it.

I agree!!! In the long run the insurance company will end up paying more in the long run for me to be obese. I need to be healthy and this has literally been my last resort. I have tried everything else. This is about living a healthier life.

I had several people who tried to talk me out of it. Once I had the surgery they tried to sabatoge my diet. 16 years later they became my biggest supporters. This is about you. The quality of your life and ultimately the consequence of the choice you make. Be direct, stand up for yourself. Tell them if they don't like the decision you are making then please refrain from commenting about it all together. Best decision I ever made.

That is something I am afraid of too is sabotage. I feel like most people make judgement out of their own unhappiness. Did you lose friends and family because of the surgery? I have a friend who I have been close with for a few years and she was super judgemental and unsupportive. I do not feel like I should have to justify my decision. It bums me out.

One of the things I did with DH was to watch this video by Lauren Vento:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMHCZWpen7c

She does a before and after video discussing why WLS was so important to her. It just seemed to say everything better than I could. He grew up on a farm with lots of healthy food and outdoor activities, so he didn't really understand struggling with weight for my whole life.

After we watched it together we discussed what I was feeling and what surgery would mean to me. He understood better after that and got on board with the process. I think part of him was worried about the complications and part was about my ability to actually use this tool to be successful long term. He is a bit of my food police now -- "Should you eat that? Won't that make you sick? That's not part of your plan. You should pick something healthier (said last night as I was eating light cheese)."

I think that is a good idea. My boyfriend supports me but has never struggled with being overweight. He has been thin his whole life but he is trying to understand. He supports me no matter what decision I make and he wants me to be healthy. Since I turned 27 I have so many issues with my health.

HI,

I am a three time revision band to sleeve to RNY. I will do anything to keep the weight off because it is my quality of life that is being diminished/shortened by being obese. So as others have said, it is your opinion that matters because it is your life.

Maybe it's personality, but I told those that I was sharing my news with that I'm not asking for their opinion/input, I'm just letting them know my plans because they are part of my life. End of discussion!

Over the course of my lifetime I have always looked to others for approval so that is what my family and friends are used to-being able to talk me in and out of stuff. Over the last few years I have worked on my boundaries and staying firm to what I want regardless of what other's think. So the few I have talked to - that has been the discussion- this is what I m doing - I am not asking you - Im telling you. Either get on my bus or get off.