Body changes that are never spoken about -nsfw possibly-

paperhatmelon
on 12/12/17 6:36 am, edited 12/12/17 9:53 am

Hi, everyone! First post here. I'm in the process of getting approved for my surgery and have an estimated date of when it will be. I'm currently just going through as much information as possible, especially body changes, because honestly, I'm scared! I am scared of how my body will change and scared that I won't like it. One of my biggest curiosity has been:

  1. How has this changed your sex life? 3/6/9/12 months post-op?
  2. How has your libido changed? High => Low, Low => High? Or did it even out? Or did it increase (High => even Higher)
  3. For those with long-term partners, did the excess skin turn them off? How did you guys deal/manage it?
  4. Did your area of pleasure change? How much did it change? (look/touch/feel)
  5. What areas of yourself have changed that you didn't think of? (Surprise change whether it was noticeable or until it was pointed out. I'm interested in physical/mental/emotional).

As you can probably tell, I have a lot of questions about topics that aren't discussed much... thank you so much, everyone, who continues to share what they're going through.

I wanted to edited this post to ask one more question:

For those of you who've gone on to have kids after the surgery, did you get pregnant before reconstructive surgery? And if so, did you breastfeed? I am wondering how breastfeeding is after the weight loss and if it's possible after reconstruction surgery. I have always had an oversupply of breastmilk and my plan is pregnancy 2 years post-op. I'm truly curious of anyone's experience with pregnancy/breastfeeding pre and post.

Briar4
on 12/12/17 7:36 am
VSG on 12/13/17

I have a lot of these same questions. I'm to embarrassed to ask in group lol.

ScottAndrews
on 12/12/17 9:35 am
RNY on 03/20/17

I can only give the male perspective.... things have improved.

Jester
on 12/12/17 1:12 pm
RNY on 03/21/16

I can also only offer a male perspective, and I believe I'm in the vast, vast minority:

  1. How has this changed your sex life? 3/6/9/12 months post-op?
    1. Minimal --> Non-Existant
  2. How has your libido changed? High => Low, Low => High? Or did it even out? Or did it increase (High => even Higher)
    1. Extremely High --> Non-Existant
  3. For those with long-term partners, did the excess skin turn them off? How did you guys deal/manage it?
    1. No, not at all. No issues there.
  4. Did your area of pleasure change? How much did it change? (look/touch/feel)
    1. Not even sure I understand this question (guys are simple ;-) )
  5. What areas of yourself have changed that you didn't think of? (Surprise change whether it was noticeable or until it was pointed out. I'm interested in physical/mental/emotional).
    1. I'm a small man. This shocked me. I always identified with being a "big guy" with a big frame. I assumed even when I lost weight I would be a big guy. I'm not. I'm tiny. I'm 5'8" and around 150lbs with a very slight build. I found this shocking.
    2. I don't like being a small man (although I love being thin and healthy, I just don't like identifying as a "small guy")

I can't really explain the libido thing, nor can the doctors. My sex drive started waning shortly after surgery and by 6-12 months out it was completely gone. I went in and had my testosterone checked and it was low. I started taking medication and it responded right away. I now have higher than average testosterone levels, yet still have no libido. The doctors have determined that it's "all in my head".

Upon re-reading this post it comes off as really negative, and I want to assure you my RNY was the best thing I've ever done. I absolutely love how I feel every day and how much easier it is to navigate the world when you're thin. I can also do so much more than I was every able to do in the past and don't feel "sidelined" in life. Even the lack of libido doesn't really bother me much other than knowing it's not normal.

Even the small guy thing is minor - not something I think about on a regular basis, just a surprise.

paperhatmelon
on 12/12/17 6:28 pm

Thank you for taking the time to reply! I really do appreciate it, even if it's 'just' the male perspective. I'm also glad to hear that despite some of the negatives, you still feel very positive about the surgery.

Gwen M.
on 12/13/17 10:09 am
VSG on 03/13/14

When I was trying to figure out my lack of libido, my doc only ran Estrdiol, Progesterone, and Testosterone. They were all normal.

Then I stopped caring due to surgery and surgery recovery.. but I found this site -- https://www.integrativepsychiatry.net/neuroendocrine_profile .html -- and these are the tests I'm going to ask for once I'm ready to start tackling my lack of libido again.

Just passing this on in case it might be useful to you.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Jester
on 12/13/17 10:19 am
RNY on 03/21/16

Interesting, thanks for sharing. I might bring a print off of this in to my PCP as a catalyst for conversation. I do get the feeling that something is "off". I don't know that it's anything critical, and I feel great for the most part. But in addition to the complete absence of a sex drive, I have some other "odd" issue that the doctors just seem to want to blow off.

On of the most prominent is my cheeks and tongue. Every morning my tongue is sore. It's weird. Throughout the day it goes away, but with 100% consistency, I wake up with a sore tongue. The second is that my cheeks are very "rough" and I develop these blood blisters on my cheeks usually every week or two. They only last a day or two, then go away. My dentist said I am chewing my cheeks in my sleep. Ok, but why? And why is my tongue sore?

Another is eczema. I apparently had it as a little kid, but don't even remember having it. In the last couple of months it has come on very strong on my hands and is really painful. I've gone to a dermatologist and it is under control, but again I have to ask "why now?" Why are all these seemingly unconnected things happening to me now?

Sorry to hijack the thread, it wasn't my intention, I just got on a roll :-)

paperhatmelon
on 12/13/17 3:16 pm

NP! I don't think you're hijacking at all. I think both you and Gwen bring up some really great potential issues in the future. It allows us to make a more informed decision and with added knowledge, really allows us to advocate for ourselves with our docs!

With issues like this, do you guys ever contact your surgeon or do you guys go through your PCP first?

Gwen M.
on 12/13/17 3:39 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

For the libido issue, I haven't talked to my surgeon because, like I said, I doubt it has anything to do with WLS. So my first step was to address it with my PCP, but she didn't seem to interested. Once I get settled with a new psychiatrist I'm going to discuss it with them and I'm also planning to get a new PCP in 2018, so plan to address it with the new PCP as well.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Jester
on 12/14/17 1:58 pm
RNY on 03/21/16

I tend to bring it up with whoever I happen to see first. I really like both of them, although my PCP generally refers me to specialists for these types of issues. My surgeon tends to have more first hand knowledge of what might be linked to the surgery. I plan on discussing several of these issues with my surgeon when I see him.

This lies at the heart of my beef with the US health care system. Everyone is so specialized and sub-specialized that I just don't think anyone is paying enough attention to the holistic health situation. Sure, I can see a urologist for the testosterone issue and a dermatologist for the eczema and a dentist about my tongue/cheeks. But who is looking at it all and saying "hey, maybe there is a connective piece here that's driving all of this".

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